THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE RAMONES! Live at the US Festival in 1982.  Part 1 includes "Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?", "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment," "Rock 'n' Roll High School" and "I Wanna Be Sedated."  Part 2 has "Beat on the Brat," "The KKK Took My Baby Away" and "Here Today, Gone Tomorrow."  Part 3 concludes with "Chinese Rocks" and "Teenage Lobotomy."

I AM KLOOT, a Mercury Prize nominee, is advance streaming Sky At Night, which is sorta in the ballpark of Elbow and Richard Hawley. There doesn't appear to be a US release date... yet. Check it out, check it outers! (Thx, TV's Andy Levy.)

BAND OF HORSES stopped by The Current for chat and mini-set.

LAURA MARLING did a session at Morning Becomes Eclectic.

TIFT MERRITT stopped by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set.

WILD CHERRY: "Play That Funky Music." It's what they do.

ARCADE FIRE gets a meaty profile from the NYT's Jon Pareles.

SLEIGH BELLS: Alexis Krauss talks to BlackBook about her days in a girl group, her high school sweetheart, and the truth behind her relationship with M.I.A.

WEEN: Dean talks to AOL about fishing, as though you were expecting something normal.

GARY NUMAN talks to Rolling Stone about his upcoming box set and US tour.

CUTOUT BIN: From the MC5 (NSFW) to Chris Bell, From Elvis Costello to the Exciters, from Wire to The Who, from Stiff Little Fingers to Barry White, plus She & Him, the Replacements, the Sonics, Temper Trap and more -- this Friday's fortuitous finds are streaming from the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NOW SHOWING: This weekend's wide releases are Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, currently scoring 21 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; Charlie St. Cloud, which is scoring 09 percent; and Dinner for Schmucks, scoring 53 percent.

MAD MEL UPDATE: Sources connected to Oksana Grigorieva say that there are "third party witnesses" who will tell L.A. County Sheriff's investigators they saw Mel Gibson punch Oksana on January 6 during the blowout at her home. Plus, more audio.

LINDSAY LOHAN is meeting with multiple reps from rehab facilities.

GEORGE CLOONEY's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis has been implicated in a cocaine scandal surrounding two nightclubs in Milan, Italy, according to RadarOnline.

JESSICA SIMPSON has had "several meetings" with the brass at "American Idol" in the hopes of taking over Simon Cowell's judging duties.  But maybe the show will pick Courtney Love.  Maybe there should be a spin-off called American Idol Judge.

DREW CAREY drops 70 pounds.

CHRIS KLEIN has decided to extend his stay in rehab.

HEIDI & SPENCER PRATT, despite papers filed, are still seeing each other, according to RadarOnline.

PAUL GIAMATTI will play Nikita Khrushchev in an HBO telepic about the Soviet leader's two-week tour of the US.

JAMES FRANCO, movie star, conceptual artist, fiction writer, grad student, and cipher is profiled by New York magazine.

LEONARD NIMOY spoke with The A.V. Club about his love of photography, his mythological influences, and how he put his current show together.

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS: An imam whose voice helped him become the first black Saudi to lead prayers at Mecca's Grand Mosque said he was wrong to speak against a fatwa prohibiting singing, in the latest spat between reformist and conservative clerics in the kingdom.

AFGHANISTAN: Haji Ghani is an illiterate, hashish-growing former warlord who directs a semiofficial police force and is known to show his anger through beatings. In Now Ruzi, a Taliban nest west of Kandahar, he is also US forces' main partner.

CARNITAS the MINI-PIG checks out the Sam Adams and some chips.

A BEAR came for the fruit, left with a stuffed bear.

PIGEONS on the pill in Provence. Tuppence a bag.

A ZEDONK, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega, GA, after being born there about a week ago.

SHE & HIM play "Don't Look Back" for Ferguson.  Zooey looking more relaxed on TV than at the start of the tour.

BEST COAST: All Things Considered has a feature and a free download of "Boyfriend."  The duo also discuss a few of their favorite things for Pitchfork's Guest List.

REAL ESTATE does three free songs for Daytrotter.

HOT HOT HEAT does a session at Morning Becomes Eclectic.

JENS LEKMAN a new single titled, "The End Of The World Is Bigger Than Love."

ROSEBUDS drop two new tracks, including a cover of the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive." Yes, really.

BLACK MOUNTAIN drops "The Hair Song" to stream and download.

THE BLACK KEYS play "Next Girl," also for Ferguson.

NEW PR0NOGRAPHERS: Carl Newman talks to Boise Weekly about the dichotomy between message and music, the Neko Case incident, and more...

NEIL YOUNG: The Guardian claims that Archives Vol. 2 will be four previously unreleased vinyl albums. Daniel Lanois talks about the multi-media premiere of tracks from Young's next LP. Ben Keith, the respected Nashville multi-instrumentalist whose distinctive and evocatively lonely steel-guitar adornments provided an inescapably haunting accompaniment to many of Neil Young's biggest hits, died this week at age 73 at Young's ranch.

THE XX: The Telegraph offers an introduction for those who have missed what the fuss was about.

THE CARS hint at a reunion on Facebook. Ben Orr was unavailable for comment.

BELINDA CARLISLE talks to Spinner about her 30-year drug addiction, retirement and more...

LINDSAY LOHAN is now thinking - and worrying - about what comes next: her mandatory three months in rehab. In the clearest sign yet that Lohan will get out of jail this week, several top stylists as well as hair and makeup people have been put on call from midnight on Thursday through the entire weekend.

MAD MEL UPDATE: Gibson made up to 30 "terrorizing" phone calls to Oksana Grigorieva on the same night she walked out on their volatile three-year relationship, with the usual audio from RadarOnline.

BRADGELINA have reportedly bought a 40-million-dollar luxury home in the picturesque hills of Valpolicella, Italy, according to Sky Italy magazine. Meanwhile Star magazine bought some family-unfriendly pics of Jolie from 1999.

ORLANDO BLOOM & MIRANDA KERR are expecting a child.

TIGER WOODS: First mistress Rachel Uchitel ran away from the set of Celebrity Rehab.

SCOTT PILGRIM vs THE WORLD's cast goes pantsless for GQ.

IRAN: Domination of a fairly sophisticated, energy-rich economy has been handed to a secretive military organization that started out as a religious militia. The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps is now believed to control a third of the Iranian economy.

AFGHANISTAN: Hundreds of Afghan civilians who worked as informants for the US military have been put at risk by WikiLeaks' publication of more than 90000 classified intelligence reports which name and in many cases locate the individuals.  Noah Shachtman explains that the leaked reports may be less than fully accurate.  Meanwhile, The Taliban's supreme leader, Mullah Omar, has ordered his forces to kill or capture any civilians, including Afghan women, who cooperate with Coalition forces.

BULLDOG & TORTOISE, eating Cheerios together... Mass hysteria!

SNAKE in a PT CRUISER: A Covina family found themselves in an unusual predicament Sunday when a large boa constrictor wedged itself in the engine compartment of their car while they were shopping.

THE SWARM: A beekeeper was stung about 50 times when a swarm of approximately 1000 bees attacked her in the driveway of her Pittsfield Township home. Firefighters used 750 gallons of water to disperse the colony of bees after the woman called for help.

PETS WITH BENEFITS: Pinellas County Commissioners have heard from people who want to roll back laws that prohibit people from keeping chickens in non-agricultural settings.

SUPERCHUNK plays The Cure's classic "In Between Days" for the A.V. Club Undercover.

LOCAL NATIVES did three free songs for Daytrotter.

DANA FALCONBERRY did five free songs for Daytrotter.

DAVID DONDERO is advance streaming Number Zero With a Bullet.

NEWPORT FOLK FEST PREVIEW, streaming via All Songs Considered.

THE NASHVILLE TEENS: Their cover of "Tobacco Road" closed the Season Four premiere of Mad Men.

FIERY FURNACES: Matthew Friedberger talks to Assembly Journal about albums vs playlists, regionalism, the Pitchfork Effect and more... (Thx, LHB.)

BONNIE PRINCE BILLY: Will Oldham talks to the Irish Times about the craft of Merle Haggard, Leonard Cohen, and R. Kelly.

NICK CAVE is writing the screenplay for a remake of The Crow?

ARCADE FIRE's MSG webcast will be directed by Terry Gilliam.

MAD MEL UPDATE: RadarOnline has more photos of a seemingly battered Oksana Grigorieva.

SANDRA BULLOCK, contra prior rumors, has absolutely no intention of getting back together with Jesse James, according to RadarOnline.

ROMAN POLANSKI 'Handcuffed, Drugged, & Raped Me,' Charges New Victim.

OLIVER STONE apologizes for claiming that claiming that America's focus on the Holocaust was a product of the "Jewish domination of the media."

SUSAN SARANDON brought her 31-year-old ping-pong teammate Jonathan Bricklin to the Giffoni Film Festival in Italy.

ANGELINA JOLIE: Worth her Salt?

DANIEL CRAIG has closed his deal to play journalist Mikael Blomkvist in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

COMIC-CON: A post-convention list of 15 Films The Geek Crowd Really Wants To See.

SUCKER PUNCH: Zack Snyder's latest has a trailer online.

SCOTT PILGRIM vs the WORLD has a clip online.

IRAN: Ahmadinejad says Paul the Octopus, the sea creature that correctly predicted the outcome of World Cup games, is a symbol of all that is wrong with the western world.

AFGHANISTAN: The Afghan government, in its initial reaction to the leak of 75000 internal US military documents about the war, zeroed in on reported Pakistani support for the Taliban-led insurgency-hoping that the disclosures, and the resulting public outcry, would force Washington to turn up pressure on Islamabad.

IRAQ: Members of Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia have been holding up blood banks and hospitals at gunpoint, stealing blood for their wounded fighters rather than risk having them arrested at medical facilities.

DOG MOWS LAWN: Let's go to the video.

ANGRY COWS have launched a spate of attacks on hikers in the French Pyrnees.

HALF of UK DOGS could die of complications due to obesity.

LION CUBS at Israel's Ramat Gan Safari had their media debut. Aw.

MONKEYS are probably not being trained as snipers by the Taliban. Shocka!

EELS drop a video for "Spectacular Girl."

NEW RELEASES: Albums from Mark Olson, Jesca Hoop, Stornoway and more are streaming this week at Spinner.

LOS LOBOS is advance streaming Tin Can Trust.

BEST COAST get features from All Things Considered and the Boston Globe. (Thx, LHB.)

LOST IN THE TREES is advance streaming All Alone in an Empty House.

TWOFER TUESDAY:  "The Dawn Of Correction" by The Spokesmen is an "answer song" to Barry McGuire's immortal "Eve Of Destruction."

DEAN & BRITTA: Dean Wareham talks to Billboard about "13 Most Beautiful Songs... ," the score for screen tests Andy Warhol created of the famous and unknown personalities who made their way through the Factory.

SPIN editors rank the 125 Best Albums of the Past 25 Years.

TEGAN & SARA: The latter talks to ARTISTdirect about remixing a single song 17 times and having the result be more like an arthouse project; being hands off for once in their career; playing arenas; about decompressing and disconnecting when returning home; and how the press has stopped focusing solely on their sexual orientation in favor of their music.

TIFT MERRITT talks songwriting and musical influences with Kentucky.com.

LINDSAY LOHAN was in lockdown after having a "hysterical fit" in front of her fellow Los Angeles County jail inmates, according to the ever-reliable British media.  There are reports that the inmates are sick of her and the security measures allegedly employed around her.

MAD MEL UPDATE: RadarOnline has fresh audio of a seething, cursing and furious Gibson ripping into Oksana Grigorieva during a jealous rant about her ex-lover, former James Bond star Timothy Dalton.  RadarOnline also claims the couple's final blow-up was triggered when Gibson believed Grigorieva was "smiling too much" at a gardener.  D.H. Lawrence, anyone?

ROMAN POLANSKI: Yet another woman has come forward charging that the director raped her in 1974, according to RadarOnline.

HALLE BERRY was spotted flying to South Africa with ex-bf Gabriel Aubry and their 2-year-old daughter Nahla.

KATE WINSLET is dating a male model as she gets over her marriage split from movie director Sam Mendes, according to the uber-reliable News of the World.

ELTON JOHN is working on a musical version of George Orwell's Animal Farm.

LET ME IN: The US version of the vampire flick Let the Right One In has a trailer online.

IRAN: Russia turned on the Islamic theocracy, accusing it of "fruitless and irresponsible rhetoric" and adding its voice to a diplomatic assault Monday which included unilateral sanctions from both the EU and Canada, as well as warnings from Iran's opposition party that Ahmadinejad's regime could suffer the same fate as the deposed Shah.

AFGHANISTAN: An ongoing Pentagon review of the massive flood of secret documents made public by the WikiLeaks website has so far found no evidence that the disclosure harmed US national security or endangered American troops in the field, a Pentagon official told NBC News on Monday.

SHAKESPEARE the TOROISE moves a barbeque grill.

BRITISH DOGS can now enjoy a gastropub lunch alongside their owner, thanks to the new 'doggy menus' launched by Butcher's Pet Care. Your dog wants Guinness.

A FALLING MOUNTAIN GOAT sends an Austrian hiker to the hospital.

ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GAFFITI drops a video for "Mistaken Wedding."

BROKEN BELLS stopped by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set.

ROGUE WAVE did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter.

DALE EARNHARDT, JR., JR. claim a quasi-psych mix of folk, hip-hop inspired drum programming, and effervescent pop -- and that's about right.  Check out the Beatle-esque "Single Girl" at TheirSpace, but I'm digging "Vocal Chords" even more.

GRAM RABBIT stopped by Morning Becomes Eclectic for a session.

ROXY MUSIC plays "Dream Home" on a part of the Jonathan Ross show that was cut for time by the BBC.

ST. VINCENT: Annie Clark talks to the Calgary Herald about Janet Jackson and more...

FANFARLO: Simon Balthazar talks to Paste about Under the Reservoir, a four-part series of mini-documentaries about the London-based band's experiences at this year's SXSW.

THE NEPTUNE MUSIC PRIZE -- Drowned In Sound's alternative to the Mercury Music Prize --  has its nominees.

KINGS OF LEON canceled their St. Louis gig after three songs, after getting the High Anxiety treatment from pigeons.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Inception repeats at No.1 with 43.5 million; its 143 million total reveals a consistent performance all through last week. Salt comes in second, at the lower end of what the so-called gurus projected, with 36.5 million.  With some legs, the Jolie thriller should recoup its 110 million budget domestically.  Despicable Me shows with 24.1 million on a mere 26.5 percent drop.  The Sorcerer's Apprentice drops a much steeper 45 percent to the fourth slot with 9.7 million; this seems unlikely to make back its 110 budget domestically.  Toy Story 3 rounds out the Top Five with another 9 million, for a 379 million total to date.  Ramona and Beezus opened below the fold at No. 6 with 8 million, though this is an extremely low-risk, 15 million dollar flick.

MAD MEL UPDATE: Oksana Grigorieva says she told authorities that Mel Gibson made an anti-Semitic death threat toward TMZ's chief, Harvey Levin, but the gossip site determined the story to be false.

LINDSAY LOHAN had another two days shaved off of her sentence.

CHARLIE SHEEN and the Aspen District Attorney's office are close to reaching a plea deal over his domestic violence case.

ANGELINA JOLIE admits there is still a side of her that's not entirely sane.

CASEY AFFLECK has been slapped with a two million dollar sexual harassment lawsuit; he intends to counter-sue for malicious prosecution.

BRITTANY MURPHY and her husband may have been killed in part by mold in their home.

ERIC ROBERTS is headed to Celebrity Rehab.

MARK RUFFALO is looking even more like The Hulk in The Avengers.

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS: A popular Muslim cleric says it is permissible for Saudi women to reveal their faces in countries where the Islamic veil is banned, while criticising efforts in Europe to outlaw the garment.

IRAN: Ahmadinejad has said his country plans to send a man into space by 2019, official state media report. The head of Iran's nuclear energy agency announced Saturday that the country had launched a "serious" nuclear fusion research program. Plus unicorns.

AfPAK: The New York Times reports that a six-year archive of classified military documents made public by Wikileaks offers an unvarnished, ground-level picture of the war in Afghanistan that is in many respects more grim than the official portrayal.  The paper ran a second feature noting that Americans fighting the war in Afghanistan have long harbored strong suspicions that Pakistan's military spy service has guided the Afghan insurgency with a hidden hand -- something that should not be news to regular Pate readers.

IRAQ: Recent reports have accused the US military of irresponsible disposal of millions of pounds of hazardous waste, mostly from the Iraq war. But after investigating, the military says EPA standards are being upheld.

DJ MAMA on the scratch.

A SPECIAL NEEDS CAT was adopted by Mr. & Mrs. Howard Stern.

ROTTWEILERS: Get in their face, and they'll take yours.

BEAR goes on a joyride.