JEFF TWEEDY apparently made like Keef Richards and clocked a fan who rushed the stage at a Wilco gig in Sprigfield MO. Which is an appropos introduction to the video for "The Thanks I Get" from Tweedy's upcoming solo DVD.

CHUCK BERRY celebrated his 80th birthday last night with an intimate concert at his favourite St Louis, MO club.

THE NAME IS BOND: ANABlog celebrates that ex-Soundgardener Chris Cornell got to record "You Know My Name" as the theme for Casino Royale by posting all of the Bond movie themes, including "Goldfinger," "Thunderball" and Nancy Sinatra's "You Only Live Twice." You can jukebox 'em all via the Hype Machine.

THE NEW BEATLES ALBUM: Will it be a gas, or a ball of confusion? NME has the details.

CALIFONE, originally a recording project of ex-Red Red Meat singer-guitarist Tim Rutili, is weaving electronics into their Americana without sounding like Wilco. Roots and Crowns is garnering universal acclaim, according to Metacritic. You can stream a bunch now via the Hype Machine.

STEVIE WONDER and the ROLLING STONES play a medley of "Uptight" and "Satisfaction" o­n the Stones' 1972 tour. More recently, Stevie received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Civil Rights Museum.

MY MORNING JACKET: Stereogum can hook you up with streaming audio of "O Is The One That Is Real," from MMJ's live album, Okonokos.

THE HOLD STEADY gets a good review for Boys and Girls in America from the Twin Cities' City Pages, while frontman Craig Finn tells the A.V. Club: "my first exposure to music was meeting Rick Nielsen when I was about six." Which explains a lot.

BELINDA CARLISLE is wrapping a French-language solo album, Voila. Stereogum has posted her cover of Serge Gainsbourg's "Bonnie et Clyde."

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: Though the troubled singer's solicitor described his battle to come off drugs as a "mixed bag" in court yesterday, it was also implied that he was living with the supposedly sober supermodel and that this would be helpful in his rehab.

THE McCARTNEYS' divorce is getting very ugly , with Heather Mills alleging -- among other things -- that she was throttled, stabbed in the arm and denied a bedpan by Sir Paul the Cute. RTWT! Sir Paul was unavailable for official comment today but a close source vehemently denied the accusations made in the papers lodged in the High Court's family division. His lawyers say he will respond in court.

BRITNEY SPEARS: The bodyslamming of Spenderline keeps getting yanked from YouTube, but it's o­n Google Video at the link, y'all!

TOM-KAT UPDATE: The latest rumor is that the Cruise-Holmes wedding is moving from California to Italy.

BRADGELINA: The residents of Pune, India are getting tired of the Pitt-Jolie security demands. Too bad Jolie can't shoot A Mighty Heart in Namibia.

VAUGHNISTON: Friends of Jennifer Aniston tell Us Weekly that the break-up with Vince Vaughn has been downgraded to a "break."

JESSICA SIMPSON: The pneumatic blonde is her own publicist for now, which might explain why Nick Lachey's newest album has sold twice as many copies as hers.

WHITNEY HOUSTON and BOBBY BROWN BREAK-UPDATE: Houston has officially filed for divorce, a month after filing for legal separation from Brown.

PAMELA ANDERSON is trying to have Kid Rock impregnate her. And the accompanying photo is either really flattering, or Pam has had a face lift.

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY and LANCE ARMSTRONG are not gay for each other. McConaughey tells Details magazine: "We tried it. Wasn't for us." NTTAWWT.

IS EDDIE MURPHY THE FATHER of a Scary Spice baby? Could be.

GREY'S ANATOMY: The ever-reliable National Enquirer claims that Isaiah Washington hurled a gay slur at co-star Patrick Dempsey during last week's o­n-set brawl. "The melee has set off World War III o­n the show and may cost Isaiah his job," an insider supposedly told the tab. And yet I would still rather look at Katherine Heigl in a red bikini.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Megan Mcardle asks: "How much better would it be if when you used that phrase, you actually had to reveal something interesting?"

THE CONSPIRACY INDUSTRY is analyzed in the afterword to Debunking 9/11 Myths: Why Conspiracy Theories Can't Stand Up to the Facts, by The Editors of Popular Mechanics.

NORTH KOREA has told China that it is prepared to conduct "as many as three additional tests" following its first nuclear experiment.

IRAQ: Dozens of al Qaeda-linked gunmen took to the streets of Ramadi to announce the city was joining an Islamic state. However, at ITM, Mohammed writes that "Nothing changed in my life as a Baghdadi since my city was announced a part of the Islamic State of al-Qaeda." Prime Minister al-Maliki ordered the release of a senior figure in the Moqtada al-Sadr's organisation, who was detained by US troops in Baghdad o­n Tuesday. Moqtada has clout with al-Maliki's party. Calm largely returned to the city of Balad by Tuesday, as Iraqi army troops forced Shiite militiamen out of police cars commandeered for sectarian revenge killing. Phillip Carter, who returned from Iraq last month after serving with the Army

DAVID BOWIE and MARIANNE FAITHFULL duet o­n "I Got You, Babe," circa 1980. It's definitiely not Groundhog Day.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCATS? Stereogum is holding a contest to win the original (out of print) and new versions of the album. You can stream the Walkmen's remake of the Harry Nilsson classic, too.

SAVE THE ALBUM: insound is running a campaign with videos of the Mountain Goats' John Darnielle, The Decemberists' Colin Meloy, Devendra Banhart and more, all talking about their favorite albums. Banhart wears face paint; Meloy wears a fake mustache.

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS frontman Carl Newman is still waiting for the critical backlash to start. He also talks to Canada's Star-Phoenix about having his niece fill in for Neko Case from time to time.

THE HOLD STEADY was featured o­n the World Cafe for a couple of tunes, which you can stream from NPR now.

WHAT'S NEXT FOR CBGB? Dustin Glick has some Photoshop fun imagining who might be the new tenant after the venerable music club is forced out at the end of the month.

SAM COOKE and the EVERLY BROTHERS close out a swingin' Shindig with the classic "Lucille."

ROBERT CHRISTGAU, the self-proclaimed "Dean of American Rock Critics," talks to PopMatters o­n a variety of topics, but the most interesting part may be how little has changed since his early pieces from 1969 and 1970.

PANIC! at the DISCO has recorded a version of "This is Halloween" for the The Nightmare Before Christmas Special Edition Soundtrack (not to be confused with the DVD).

TOM WAITS: There are now three free MP3s for download from his upcoming Orphans multi-disc set posted at the Anti- website.

RADIOHEAD frontman Thom Yorke has begun worrying about the environmental impact of touring, and is looking into going to Japan by train.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The grandfather of the supposedly sober supermodel's o­nly daughter has hit out at the troubled singer, fearing that the four-year-old will be exposed to drugs.

MADONNA: o­ne-year-old David Banda was greeted by the international media as he made his way from Malawi to South Africa and then to Heathrow Airport in London, where Madge declared, "He's just the best baby ever. Guy and I have never been happier." Which will be great news to her son Rocco and daughter Lourdes. Meanwhile the international backlash against Madge's move to adopt the boy continued. Nevertheless, she has already got her eyes o­n a three-year-old girl from the same village.

WESLEY SNIPES jumps out of the "Where Are They Now?" file with his indictment o­n eight counts of tax fraud, with a total of 12 million in alleged false refund claims. What some people won't do for attention.

BOBBY BROWN, however, is out of legal jeopardy, having officially paid up o­n 11K in back child support.

SARA EVANS: I haven't followed Dancing with the Stars much, but the country singer's divorce papers are juicy enough to explain her early departure from the show. ET has reaction from Evans' former nanny about the adultery allegations.

BRITNEY SPEARS may not have have named her son Sutton Pierce, as has been generally reported. The Celeb Baby Blog claims the boy's real name is Jayden James. Meanwhile, WWE champion John Cena fulfilled a national fantasy by bodyslamming Spenderline in a bit for WWE Raw that aired last night. Cena also got to yell, "You're less talented than Paris Hilton!" Now that hurts.

PETRA NEMCOVA: The tsunami-surviving supermodel has dumped singer James Blunt. Her bout of temporary insanity ended amid allegations that Blunt had been unfaithful, which -- if true -- would suggest more than temporary insanity o­n his part.

DENISE RICHARDS and CHARLIE SHEEN managed to behave civilly to each other o­n a family outing that included Sheen's new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Richards admits she sleeps with five dogs -- o­ne less than when she was with Sheen.

LINDSAY LOHAN wants to get married before she's 30. No word o­n how many times.

ELTON JOHN has been secretly counselling Keane singer Tom Chaplin as he battles booze and drugs problems. He also counseled Donatella Versace, Robbie Williams and Pete Doherty. And was there to support both Madonna and Guy Ritchie and the Beckhams when their marriages ran into trouble. The man really needs a reality TV show.

ELLEN BARKIN told the crowd at the American Cinematheque tribute to George Clooney that she had f---ed Clooney. A rep for Barkin insisted the actress "was just goofing around. It was a roast. She was being funny." Yes, she was. NTTAWWT.

EVANGELINE LILLY turned up on the set of Lost in a bridal gown, but not to marry her Hobbit co-star, Dominic Monaghan.

MIDEAST CONFLICT: A senior figure in Hamas, who also acts as the spokesman for the Hamas-led government, published an article o­n Tuesday condemning internal violence and questioning whether it had become a "Palestinian disease," though he seems most concerned that it's bad PR. Meanwhile, a Reuters cameraman has been jailed pending trial for his part in allegedly inciting rock-throwing attacks o­n security forces in Bil'in.

IRAN: The European Union, spurred by North Korea's nuclear test, is headed toward backing UN sanctions against Iran o­n Tuesday after Tehran spurned conditions for opening negotiations o­n its nuclear program. EU countries have not decided what sanctions they might support against Tehran, but are leaning toward softer measures, sure to have the mullahs quaking in their boots. Pajamas Media has video of the arrest of an Ayatollah who believes in the separation of church and state, translating his speech outside his house: "Tell the world that Boroujerdi did not fear death... He defended an Islam which promotes love and kindness not the Islam that these lot advocate which has brought poverty, corruption, prostitution, addiction..."

IRAQ: The US military has arrested Sheikh Mazen Al Saedi, the head of Muqtada al-Sadr's offices in the western Baghdad neighborhood of Karkh, part of a series of of raids in Baghdad and Diwaniyah designed to erode Sadr's power base. Sadr's de facto control of the health ministry may also allow him to manipulate casualty statistics in Baghdad, a confidential military intelligence source tells Bill Roggio. The National Police force is being completely reorganized and over 3000 officers have been dismissed, which is the silver lining to bad news about the police. US forces were back patrolling the mostly Shiite town of Balad after days of sectarian violence in which nearly 100 died, which Iraq's 4th Army had been unable to stop. Sadly, o­n the home front, US counterterrorism officials often do not know the difference between Sunnis and Shia.

GITMO: European governments that have called for closing the camp at Guantanamo Bay have balked at accepting prisoner transfers. I think the Euro spelling for that would be p-o-s-e-u-r.

MAURAUDING GANGS of BABOONS have gotten so bad that monitoring teams have been deployed to keep the animals away in suburbs of Cape Town, South Africa.  Ooh ooh ooh, they wanna be like you-oo-oo...

A LUCKY ALBINO SQUIRREL'S luck ran out at the start of the school year for the University of North Texas.

SNAKES: A five-foot-long corn snake is roaming the vicinity of Bromsgrove, UK. A live python was found in a box in a taxi in Mthatha, South Africa.

PET HOARDING: A Waukesha, WI woman was ordered to pay a fine and sell her house after the carcasses of 17 birds, five tortoises and two cats, along with nine living cats and five living birds, were removed from her home.

THE SWARM: Two young Indonesian brothers died in a Malaysian state after adults who saw them being chased by a swarm of wasps locked them out of a room to prevent getting stung themselves, news reports said Monday.

NO CBGB: The New York Times talks to Patti Smith at the start of its piece o­n the demise of the famed NYC venue that served "as the casual headquarters and dank incubator for some of New York

photo courtesy of BiblioMama.

ART BRUT, WE ARE SCIENTISTS and the SPINTO BAND played Chicago o­n Thursday. Ken King and I went, but I didn't blurb it Friday for deadline reasons. The show lived up to my expectations. Art Brut is o­ne of a select group of bands (like the Replacements and Guided by Voices) that is truly post-modern -- aware of the essential silliness of what they do, but with enough passion for it to avoid descending into Spinal Tap-esque parody.

When Ken and I saw Art Brut at the Pitchfork fest, frontman Eddie Argos would stop in the middle of "Emily Kane" -- a song about first love that's equal parts Ray Davies and Jonathan Richman -- to tell the audience that he was wrong, that it was a bad idea to want to get in touch with a first love years later. This time, he told the crowd of the e-mail he got from someone who got in touch with her first love, got married and pregnant, who was so happy she had not listened to his concert monologue. Argos said the lesson was that he has to stop stopping the song... and that you should stop listening to him and other people in bands. Of course, earlier in the show, he demanded that everyone in the audience go home after the show and form a band.

We Are Scientists have toured with Art Brut enough that they cover each other's songs o­n a tour single. WAS was tight and occasionally funny. The video for "It's A Hit" is funny in a darker way. When WAS covers Art Brut's "Bang Bang Rock N' Roll," the hyperactive third-billed Spinto Band comes out to dance. The Spinto Band is probably best known for "Oh, Mandy" -- which is not the Manilow tune. You can hear Art Brut's upcoming UK single, "Nag Nag Nag Nag," as well as the must-hear "Formed A Band," via MySpace.

TWO GALLANTS were jailed after an altercation with police in Houston. MKOB has news coverage and a fan video from the scene, plus a streaming Two Gallants song.

JOE STRUMMER is the subject of a new biography by Chris Salewicz, writer and friend of the star for 25 years. London's Sun has an exclusive essay by Salewicz at the link.

JARVIS COCKER, NICK CAVE and BETH ORTON are among those discussing the changing role of pop music in modern life for a roundtable in London's Observer.

REMIX THE MONKEY: Stereogum can link you to the winner and other top entries in a contest to remix Peter Gabriel's "Shock the Monkey," with video of Gabriel discussing them.

RYAN ADAMS: The compulsively prolific singer-songwriter is streaming 36 new songs from his website, in styles ranging from thrashy punk to Whiskeytown-esque alt-country.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: As we get closer to Halloween, I'll be trying to feature more video like (the late) Jim Carroll belting out "People Who Died."

WHO IS BOB DYLAN? Yes, there is at least one person who doesn't know. Actually, I think Bob would find that an intriguing question, but he probably wouldn't give a straight answer. Heather Browne is posted some rarities from No Direction Home you can stream via the Hype Machine.

AMERICA is trying for a comeback with indie cred, enlisting ex-Smashing Pumpkin James Iha and Fountains of Wayne's Adam Schlessinger for production help, and cameos from members of My Morning Jacket and Nada Surf o­n covers of their songs.

TALKING HEADS: Jefito blog has posted a gig from 9/16/78, which you can stream via the Hype Machine.

FREDDY FENDER has died of complications of many illnesses, including lung cancer, at 69. Bizzare trivia: In February 1999, Fender was awarded a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame after then-Texas Gov. George W. Bush wrote to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce endorsing him.

DEBORAH HARRY and Blondie guitarist Chris Stein closed out CBGB (OMFUG) Saturday night with an unpluggety set that included "One Way or Another" and a cover of the Ramones song "I Want to Be Your Boyfriend." I haven't seen any video of that yet, though I did find an acoustic "Heart of Glass" from 2002. The final GBGB show in NYC was scheduled to be Patti Smith last night.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: Radar notes the parallels between the the Pete-Kate train wreck and the saga of Keith Richards and Anita Pallenberg.

MADONNA: The father of the little boy Madge adopted in Malawi has described his feelings of confusion and powerlessness in the face of the singer's determination to take his o­nly surviving child away. The Human Rights Consultative Committee, a grouping of 67 human rights NGOs in Malawi, will apply to Malawi's High Court to halt the adoption. That last link has some contrary quotes from the father, along with some family members claiming the father is being exploited.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: The Grudge 2 won the weekend with 22 million, which means it will make decent money, but far short of the original, which opened with 39 million. The Departed took the second slot, dropping o­nly 30 percent -- though it may face competition this weekend from Clint Eastwood's Flags of Our Fathers. Man of the Year made 12.5 million, which means it may break even, after accounting for marketing costs and such. Open Season grossed 11 million and was off 30 percent, so it too may break even by the time Flushed Away arrives to compete for the family audience. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning dropped 60 percent to make a mere 7.8 million, but is a money-maker o­n its shoestring budget.

MATT DAMON and LEONARDO Di CAPRIO are good enough actors to fool Jack Nicholson into thinking they were doctors coming to give him a rectal exam.

PAUL McCARTNEY has begun a process to trademark his name for use o­n goods as wide-ranging as pantihose, waistcoats, bath robes, articles of fancy dress, overalls, sports clothing, swimwear and vegetarian food.

GEORGE MICHAEL: Cell phone footage of his latest drug bust, courtesy of TMZ.

JOHN FORSYTHE, who played patriarch Blake Carrington o­n Dynasty and was the voice of Charlie in both the TV and film versions of Charlie's Angels, was treated for colon cancer and is now recovering at a L.A. hospital. My college roomie Dale made sure I noticed, as we enjoyed mocking Dynasty MST3K-style, going so far as to pop bottles of Coke in tandem with the opening credits. I'm sure we do the same with best wishes for Forsythe's recovery.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: The buzz is that Holmes' parents are still outraged that her rumored nuptials will be conducted by the Church of Scientology, with suggestions that they are threatening a last-minute boycott of the wedding to try to convince Katie to have a proper Catholic ceremony, even if she does o­ne Scientology-style, too.

BRADGELINA: Another day, another photographer punched in the face by Jolie's hired goons.

MAD MEL UPDATE: Gibson says he drank alcohol the morning after his July 28 arrest for driving under the influence. In front of his kids.

LINDSAY LOHAN will be flirting with Keira Knightley in The Best Time of Our Lives, a movie that revolves around Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, his wife Caitlin and her childhood friend Vera Phillips.

JESSICA ALBA was snapped getting married... for a scene in the Fantastic Four sequel. Had you for a second, didn't I?

THE CULT of the iPod may run into the buzzsaw of Islamic extremism with the construction of "Apple Mecca."

SALMAN RUSHDIE tells a reporter for London's Independent -- though it appears the reporter doesn't get it -- about the Islamic extremism that spawned the fatwa against him long before 9/11: "If tomorrow the Israel/Palestine issue was resolved to the total happiness of all parties, it would not diminish the amount of terrorism coming out of al-Qa'ida by o­ne jot. It's not what they're after. Yes, it's a recruiting tool, rhetorically. Many people see there's an injustice there, and it helps them to get people into the gang, but it's not what they want. What they want is to change the nature of human life o­n earth into the image of the Taliban. If you want the whole earth to look like Taliban Afghanistan, then you're o­n the same side as them. If you don't want that, you're not. They do not represent the quest for human justice. That, I think, is o­ne of the great mistakes of the left." And Rushdie has much more where that came from.

IRAQ: At ITM, Mohammed details the heroism of an Iraqi policeman facing a car-bomber. London's Times reports o­n coup rumors, while the Washington Post's David Ignatius dismisses and looks beyond them. Bill Roggio looks at the divisions in al-Qaeda in Iraq. The AP claims Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani's influence is declining, while radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr has ordered his Shiite militia not to take part in the sectarian bloodshed -- though I suspect that's for public consumption o­nly. Sen. Minority Whip Dick Durbin says that the security situation has improved somewhat since his last visit.

PAKISTAN: A plot to stage a coup against Pres. General Pervez Musharraf soon after his recent return from the US has been uncovered, resulting in the arrest of more than 40 people. This plot takes place in the context of Musharraf's agreement with the US o­n a massive joint operation against the Taliban.

ELEPHANT IMMIGRANTS UPDATE: It turns out that the Pennsylvania congressional candidate who used an elephant and a six-piece mariachi band for an elaborate political stunt designed to make a point about border security was "fired" by Donald Trump o­n The Apprentice two years ago. Plus, we now have the video of the stunt.

CAT CLONING: A California company set up to clone beloved pets has gone out of business after cloning just two cats.

BUGSY the RABBIT has been freed unhurt after a week hiding in the engine of Jon Llewlyn's Ford Mondeo. What's up with that, Doc?

AN ENRAGED GIANT PIG attacked a nurse after charging her horse, which caused the nurse to be thrown to the ground.

NO SMOKING COW: The same strain of deadly E. coli bacteria that sickened dozens of people nationwide has been found at a cattle ranch in California's Salinas Valley within a mile of spinach fields, but an investigator says, "We do not have a smoking cow at this point."

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE...

...with THE TOP 40 MUSIC MOMENTS IN FILM HISTORY, according to Bullz-Eye, though they are really listing rock music moments. The self-imposed rules barred some I would list, like "Raindrops Keep Fallin' o­n My Head" from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. It's not clear whether the rules exclude "Everybody's Talkin'" from Midnight Cowboy. Other omissions are more puzzling, such as the opening of American Graffiti, which invented the wall-to-wall rock soundtrack. Nothing from The Blues Brothers? No Wes Anderson moments from Rushmore (x2), The Royal Tenenbaums, or The Life Aquatic? No Big Lebowski? No "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" from Full Metal Jacket? No "Born to be Wild" from Easy Rider? Pictured above is "Tiny Dancer" from Almost Famous, which certainly does make the list.

THE PITCHFORK DRINKING GAME: It is Friday, after all... (via Stereogum.)

GRIZZLY BEAR did a short World Cafe set now streaming from NPR. Ed Droste and Dan Rossen were interviewed by Pitchfork about making a coherent album. Droste also spoke recently to the San Francisco Bay Guardian about recording in his mother's home, the Yellow House of the disc's title, but refuse to dish about his straight bandmates' tour antics. When NOW asked about the Brian Wilson comparisons, Droste demurred in favor of his East Coast upbringing: "We'd be the Cape Cod Beach Boys, drinking Bloody Marys and freezing in the Atlantic Ocean."

JOHN PEEL DAY was yesterday, so London's Telegraph looks at the legacy of the legendary BBC Radio o­ne DJ.

PAOLO NUTINI: Heather Browne brought my attention to this live set of soulful rock you can jukebox via the Hype Machine. Paolo sounds much older and much less Scottish than you might expect.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: Actor Hal Sparks was joined by Dennis De Young o­n "Come Sail Away" for Celebrity Duets. I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

WILCO: Sunken Treasure: Live in the Pacific Northwest, a live DVD by Jeff Tweedy, is coming October 24th. The audio tracks of all the songs featured o­n the DVD also will be available for anyone who purchases Sunken Treasure to download for free. A piece in the Portland Mercury argues that Nels Cline saved the guitar: "His name is like a 40-point Scrabble word if ever dropped in the middle of an 'interesting musical conversation.'"

JOLIE HOLLAND is still touring behind her recent third album, Springtime Can Kill You, full of music the New York Press describes as "steeped in haunting American Gothic imagery... conveyed with her bittersweet gin-soaked amalgam of folk, jazz and blues." At the moment, you can still stream the title track and more via the Hype Machine.

CAT POWER is the new face of Chanel jewelry. No, really.

DAVID BOWIE is teaming up with SpongeBob SquarePants. No, really.

THE CUTOUT BIN: This Friday's fortuitous finds from the Hype Machine include: Soul Brothers Six - Some Kind Of Wonderful; The Hold Steady - Stuck Between Stations; The Cars - Moving In Stereo; The Beatles - Hey Bulldog; Hoodoo Gurus - Tojo; Okkervil River - For Real (live); The Louvin Brothers - The Christian Life; Rolling Stones - Time is o­n My Side; The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail; Weezer - Uptown Girl; Zombies - Tell Her No; Lou Reed - Walk o­n the Wild Side; and The Beach Boys - I Just Wasn't Made For These Times.

BRADGELINA: Jolie slams Western countries for trying to shut out migrants and refugees from Africa and other hotspots. Jolie's SUV driver slams a cyclist, who nevertheless pointed out that the actress' driver was looking to escape some enthusiastic paparazzi. I don't know whether the cyclist meant X17 which was o­n the scene.

NOW SHOWING: This week's wide releases include The Grudge 2 and WWE wrestler John Cena's The Marine, neither of which seems to have been screened for critics. The Robin Williams political "comedy" Man of the Year is currently scoring a whopping 19 percent o­n the Tomatometer. One Night with the King has not been widely reviewed either, though I wonder if that's because it appears to be a telling of the story of Ester. Anyway, The Departed is really good, and may take the weekend unless teenagers flood The Grudge 2.

MAD MEL UPDATE: Gibson was not sounding all that contrite with Diane Sawyer o­n GMA.

MADONNA and husband Guy Ritchie filed adoption papers for o­ne-year-old Davie Banda in Malawi -- and promised his dad they would often bring him back to visit.

VAUGHNISTON: Jennifer Aniston is still denying a break-up with Vince Vaughn, this time o­n The Oprah Winfrey Show.

BRITNEY SPEARS: For some reason, hubby Spenderline reportedly is forbidding his wife from using male dancers in her new video. Spenderline, who was a back-up dancer for Spears, is said to be "surprisingly insecure and secretly terrified" that Spears will dump him if her career takes off again. The o­nly part of that I doubt is the "surprisingly."

ALEC BALDWIN lets nothing stand in his way. Not an airplane crashing into a building. Not a condom. Nothing. Got that!?

KATE HUDSON and CHRIS ROBINSON BREAK-UPDATE: Although their separation began with little animosity, Robinson has grown "increasingly irate" as Hudson has been spotted in public with Owen Wilson, according to Star magazine.

SCREECH is cashing in o­n his leaked sex tape: "We could spend a fortune fighting it in court, with little bits already being leaked out o­n the Internet or we could suck it up and say you know what, it could be a losing battle, we'll make money if we just side with it." This may be his best acting ever.

ELLEN De GENERES AND PORTIA de ROSSI are planning a summer "wedding," according to the National Enquirer.

RACHEL BILSON: The O.C. cutie has slammed girls who pose semi-nude for men's magazines, insisting o­nly her boyfriend Adam Brody sees her naked. Bilson is constantly approached to pose in skimpy underwear for the saucy publications, but always refuses. Tight tops and panties? Sure. A see-through top? Maybe. But skimpy underwear? No way.

MICKEY, MINNIE and GOOFY have their own smutty video. Needless to say, it's been yanked from YouTube. UPDATE: At the moment, some video can be found at DailyMotion.

NORTH KOREA: There were as many as 10 failures related to intelligence reporting o­n North Korean missile tests and the suspected nuclear test that harmed US givernment efforts to deal with the issue. I'm shocked. Past stumbles have included missing chances to detect or stop the 9/11 attacks, faulty assessments of Saddam Hussein's weapons programs both before the Gulf War and before the 2003 invasion, the failure to predict the 1998 round of nuclear tests by India and Pakistan, and overly optimistic predictions of the Iraqi reaction to a US invasion. Not to mention the failure to discern the internal weakness of the former USSR in the 1980s.

IRAQ: The Counterterrorism Blog has translated jihadist website messages calling for Baghdad residents to prepare for an upcoming "Big Battle of Baghdad." The L.A. Times has a look at improvements and obstacles in the Amariya neighborhood of Baghdad. Although 25 of the 31 tribes in Anbar province have decided to back the Iraqi government and join forces to hunt al-Qaeda, Bill Roggio notes an AQ alliance with the remaining six tribes. He also links to a Financial Times story reporting that the leaders of influential Sunni and Shia religious groups will "meet in the holy city of Mecca next week to endorse a call for an end to all sectarian bloodshed."

ISLAM IN EUROPE: The New York Times reports that centrists and progressives across Europe are becoming disturbed that any criticism of Islam or Muslim immigration provokes threats of violence. An example given is the violent reaction to Pope Benedict XVI's speech that contained quotations critical of Islam. Another example not mentioned would be the radical Muslims in France's housing estates waging an undeclared "intifada" against the police, with violent clashes injuring an average of 14 officers each day, causing the Interior Ministry to ask for armored cars.

BASIL, an 18-year-old Welsh cob, unlocked his paddock, jumped a fence and made his way back, in the dark, to the farm where he was raised more than three miles away.

ELEPHANTS and a six-member mariachi band cross the Rio Grande for an immigration stunt.

WORMS: California is encouraging public and private-sector employees to bring worms to work so that the creatures can chew up apple cores, sandwich scraps and other lunch leftovers and produce compost. Aren't they concerned about workplace stress?

DOGS scream for ice cream. The Good Humor Man is there.

A 100-LB. EMU gave police in a St. Louis suburb a mighty run, confounding them all six times someone reported the ostrich-like beast bugging motorists last weekend along busy Illinois Route 3. The operative word there is "gave."

A PYTHON was caught near York in the UK, cruising the toilets at a motorway rest area.