GEORGE HARRISON & ERIC CLAPTON: "Taxman" in Tokyo.  Obvs.

NEW RELEASES: Albums from The Kooks, Laura Cantrell, Cloud Cult, Phantom Planet, M83, Brian Scary, The Duke Spirit and more are streaming in full this week via Spinner.  Black Francis has a new mini-LP and only Svn Fngrs.

CANDIE PAYNE is among the British lady singers in a fashion spread for Paper Magazine.  Frank Yang and I share a moment of blog love for Payne at Chromewaves, which will hook you up with the A/V linkage.  Frank notes that the fab Duffy is left out, but she's talking to icWales and the Sydney Morning Herald.

AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB frontman Mark Eitzel talks about the new album and new bandmates with Prefix.

NEW PORNOGRAPHERS frontman AC Newman tells Billboard the next album will be more "rock" and that he's also writing solo material; "On my own records, I'm kind of left to my own devices. That can be both good and bad."  He also talks to Columbus Alive about starting in on new stuff right after the band finishes this tour: "Things change when it becomes your job. There's a lot more to lose now."

RICK ASTLEY:  The Times of London reports that the RickRolling phenomenon continues to spread, most recently hitting London's Liverpool St. station and -- an ocean away -- Mets Stadium.  Astley talks to the Times about the phenom: "Rick Astley brand? I'm not really aware that there is one. I know I'm on YouTube a lot, but that wave will die down and then there will be a headless chicken or something else. It's just the way life is."

KAKI KING played the Abbey Bar for WXPN in Harrisburg, PA, so you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.  She was also profiled by USA Today.

PITCHFORK: London's Guardian revisits the "Pitchfork Effect" of a good or bad review from the influential indie music site: "Wikipedia notes that for Australian band Jet's second album, Shine On, 'Pitchfork Media posted a totally anomalous review containing only a video clip of a chimpanzee urinating in its own mouth.'"  Bon Iver (Justin Vernon) talks to the Times of London about personally feeling the Effect: "That day was insane. It tipped things over the edge. My manager was taking calls in the shower. I'd go for a p*ss and come back to 50 e-mails in my inbox."  The Chicago Tribune watches Pitchfork.tv as part of a new wave of online video that, instead of the catchall model of YouTube, aims for a niche.

BILLY BRAGG talks to the NYDN about whether his new LP shows signs he has mellowed: "I'm 50 now. You have to change. Otherwise, it would be like me always walking around in skateboard clothes. It doesn't go very well with the gray sideburns..."

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE!  Just when you thought we were done with all that comes word that the supposedly sober supermodel is sending video messages to the troubled singer in Wormwood Scrubs prison.  Doherty is receiving five-star treatment despite prison overcrowding, angering other lags.

MARILYN MONROE: An illicit copy of a steamy, still-FBI-classified movie reel - 15 minutes of 16mm film footage in which the original blond bombshell performs a lewinsky on an unidentified man - was just sold to a New York businessman for 1.5 million dollars.

ASHLEE SIMPSON is pregnant, according to US and OK! magazines.  Fiancee Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy denied the rumors, telling MTV: "There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood."  Ashlee and pneumatic sister Jessica were not talking to the press.

WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE:  Police have recommended to prosecutors that Richie Sambora be charged with DUI and child endangerment - both as misdemeanors - stemming from his March 25 arrest, says a source close to the case.  Sorces tell TMZ, however, that "a significant number of officers" inside the department feel there's no evidence of child endangerment. There was no smell of alcohol on his breath, and no evidence of dangerous or erratic driving.

GERARD BUTLER (300) vehemently denies that he and Cameron Diaz are hooking up.

HAYDEN PANETIERRE has confessed becoming a star as the Heroes cheerleader has turned her into a virtual recluse.

MEGAN FOX will be topless and have a catfight in her underwear in the upcoming Jennifer's Body.  Bitten & Bound reminds us that Fox is aptly named.  Call it Gratuitous Tuesday.

VANITIES GIRLS:  Vanity Fair has a slideshow of the up-and-coming actresses' 50s-style pinup shots the mag has run since 2006, including Kristen Bell in the May issue. Call it Gratuitous Twofer Tuesday.

THE STANS: Al Qaeda and the Taliban on the Afghan-Pakistani border are increasingly facing pressure on two fronts and they can be squeezed with more coordination between the neighbors, US Assistant Secretary of State Richard Boucher told a news conference in Kabul. on Monday.

IRAN:  The nation's most senior dissident cleric has lashed out at the country's ruling Islamic establishment, accusing it of imposing dictatorship and violating the rights of its people in the name of Islam.  A top Iranian official on Sunday abruptly canceled a meeting with the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, dealing a blow to the UN monitor's efforts to investigate allegations that Iran tried to make nuclear arms, an agency official said.  The US and Iran have been conducting secret back-channel discussions on Tehran's nuclear program and frozen relations between the two countries for the past five years, The Independent reported Monday.  However, the US State Dept was equally emphatic that the talks described in the article were "not a government activity," but instead "a set of private discussions."

IRAQ: US and Iraqi forces plan to stay put in a southern sector of Baghdad's Sadr City where they are battling militiamen rather than push deeper into the Shiite bastion, a top US general said on Monday.  "My aim is to push the 107-mm rockets out of range," Gen. Jeffrey Hammond told a group of journalists.  However, the Iraqi govt has committed to wresting Sadr City from the control of Shia militias, an Iraqi government spokesman and a US military spokesman said in a press briefing Sunday in Baghdad.  Humanitarian and reconstruction aid to Sadr City and other Shia neighborhoods have been committed in the wake of operations. Refugees International claims in a new report that the Iraqi govt's inability to provide basic services for its displaced citizens has attracted the attention of Sunni and Shiite militias, who are stepping in to provide food, oil, electricity, clothing and money. Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr is demanding the Iraqi govt reinstate all security forces fired for deserting during fighting in Basra.  A chief of a renegade group of Mahdi army militia reiterated on Monday their rejection to handing heavy weapons over to government forces, noting his movement arms would be "stashed to fight the occupier."

COWS stare unamazed as dairy farmer Rob Taverner performs Tai Chi in front of them every morning to get them in the right moo-d to produce lots of milk.

NEWBORN BROWN BEAR CUBS seen in Stockholm.  Awww...

GOOSEANDER CHICK climbs on its mom's back when it tires of swimming.  Awww...

MILLIPEDE INVASION causes three villages in north-west Scotland to impose a wartime-style "blackout."

MONKEY CHEWED COFFEE:  De-Lish!  Story and video at the link.

THE FEELIES are reuniting for a free show with Sonic Youth in NYC's Battery Park on July 4th.  Fireworks!  Glenn Mercer talked to Gothamist about his solo album and mentions the reunion, which sounds like maybe more than one show.  In the meantime, dig the newly-unearthed clip for "Sooner or Later" along with "Away."  The latter was directed by Jonathan Demme, who gave the band a cameo playing "Fame" at the high school reuinion in Something Wild.

FEIST & THE CONSTANTINES have released a cover of "Islands in the Stream" you can stream at the link.  Plus, can someone tell Feist how to get to Sesame Street to play (what else) "1 2 3 4?"

AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

LOLLAPALOOZA is streaming a 2008 Playlist via nuTsie.

LAURA BARTON & COLIN MELOY are writing a song together, but they could use your help with the rest of the lyrics.  Meloy also talks a bit about his songwriting method at the first link.

GNARLS BARKLEY hit the Peacock the other night with "Run" and "Who's Gonna Save My Soul."  Don't tell the lawyers.

LIZ PHAIR talks to Billboard about the new Exile in Guyville reissue and returning to Indieville.

KATHLEEN EDWARDS dropped by Portlan's WMEA for a chat and mini-set on Day to Day, streaming now via NPR.  She also talks to DC's Express about the influences of Canada and classical training.

LAST.FM: Their free streaming radio service is leading to increased revenue for its partners, including Amazon and iTunes.

ORIGINAL PSYCH POSTER ART from Wes Wilson and Rick Griffin, who became inextricably linked with the biggest acts on the West Coast music scene, are going to be available to buy when the vast rock art collection of Peter Golding, a British fashion designer and musician, comes up for sale at Bonhams in New York next month.  Griffin's 6ft high Flying Eyeball canvas -- considered to be one of the most iconic works of the Fillmore era -- is estimated to sell for up to 350K (£178,000).

BRITNEY SPEARS drove her 2008 Mercedes into the back of a 2006 Nissan Saturday night - but cops say she was dead sober when it happened.  Meanwhile Neil Patrick Harris is "clarifying" his remarks that he would prefer that the popwreck not return to CBS's sitcom How I Met Your Mother.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, Britney's barely 17-year-old knocked-up sister, got elbowed in the kisser while attending a drunken teen party with fiance Casey Aldridge on April 5th, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Scary news; the remake of Prom Night tops the box office with 22.7 million, about what Disturbia did about a year ago.  Street Kings debuted a distant second at 12 million, forcing last week's top four into 3-7, though 21 dropped a mere 28 percent.  Smart People opened an anemic seventh with 4.2 million.  The Ruins, Superhero Movie and Drillbit Taylor bring up the rear.

AMY WINEHOUSE snorted cocaine at a party last week with Sir Bob Geldof's teen daughter Pixie just a few feet away, according to the uber-reliable News of the World.

LILY ALLEN admitted she was in the men's restroom at a London nightclub, but is pissed off about the claims that she was booted out of the club with Johnny Borrell for using the men's bathroom.

ALICIA KEYS is fan of the Black Panthers and a conspiracy theorist, maintaining that the bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fuelled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

VANILLA ICE was released from jail Friday following his arrest on a charge of simple battery for allegedly pushing his wife.  In 2004, he was booked into the Broward County Jail on a domestic battery charge. He also spent a night in jail in 2001 after being arrested following a domestic dispute.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Heather Mills was booed as a Miss USA judge when introduced Friday night in Las Vegas.  That was after going on British TV and wishing Sir Paul's three girlfriends the best of luck.

CATE BLANCHETT and husband Andrew Upton welcomed their third son, Ignatius Martin Upton, into the world yesterday.

WHAT CELEBS EARN, courtesy of Parade magazine.  Miley Cyrus (a/k/a Hannah Montana) makes twice as much as Jessica Alba, but much less than Tiger Woods.

KATE MOSS has been invited in from the cold to front a new campaign for the lingerie firm Agent Provocateur.  Pics at the link.  Call it Gratuitous Monday.

STAR TREK:  Mr. Sulu sings "On the Road Again" on a TV show cancelled after one airing.  Makes Shatner sound good.  ALSO: "Red Shirts" -- the Harsh, Statistical Truth!

GLOBAL WARMING:  One of the most influential scientists behind the theory that global warming has intensified recent hurricane activity says he will reconsider his stand.

TERROR in the UK:  British police and security agencies are currently monitoring 30 terrorism plots, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said in extracts of an interview in Sunday's News of the World.  "We task the police and the security agencies with protecting us ... There are 22000 individuals they are monitoring. There are 200 networks. There are 30 active plots," she said.

IRAN:  Three speed boats of unidentified origin approached a US patrol boat as it transited the Gulf but stopped after a warning flare was fired, a US Navy spokesman said. In January, tensions between the two countries escalated after Iranian speed boats swarmed around three US warships transiting the Strait of Hormuz.

IRAQ:  The battle against the Mahdi Army is finally hit its stride in Sadr City. Fighting between Shiite militiamen and security forces in Sadr City eased on Sunday after a week of intense clashes, with hospitals in the Baghdad slum saying they had received no dead or wounded overnight.  Iraq's government moved Sunday to restore discipline within the ranks of the security forces, sacking more than 1300 soldiers and policemen who deserted during recent fighting against Shiite militias in Basra.  Tribal leaders in southern Iraq are starting to push back against Iranian-supported militias in Basra, cracking their hold over the economically crucial province, Gen. Petraeus and Amb. Crocker told reporters.

RADHA the SELF-MILKING COW:  We have not one, but three videos.

A LUCKLESS FARMER who was been married three times has decided to try his hand at marriage one last time - with a goat.  Bulgarian Stoil Panayotov, exchanged his third wife with Elena the eight-year-old goat at a livestock market in March - because she couldn't provide him with a child.  I'm not sure that is the solution.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  The Fall frontman Mark E. Smith is under investigation by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals after claiming he killed two endangered red squirrels in an interview with Uncut magazine.

IGUANA SMUGGLING?  A Californian man faces jail after being convicted of smuggling stolen rare iguanas into the US inside his prosthetic leg, justice officials said Friday.  However, the jury rejected charges that he stole the iguanas while visiting Fiji in September 2002.

THE LION CANNOT DRIVE, but that doesn't keep him out of the race.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

... with THE BYRDS!  a rare 1965 clip of their breakthrough smash cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man"  There are more screaming girls, plus go-go dancers when they hit Shivaree for "Feel A Whole Lot Better."  There are even more dancers when they cover Buddy Holly's "Not Fade Away" for Shindig! on June 23, 1965, while I'm pretty sure that's Ed Wynn introducing "Chimes of Freedom."  You might recognize the voice introducing "Bells Of Rhymney" from poolside in August 1965 and "It Won't Be Wrong" from a corral in January 1966 on Where The Action Is.  BONUS:  Want one in color?  Here's "Mr. Spaceman."

KEITH RICHARDS, LORD of the UNDEAD has, apparently, been "inundated" with requests from researchers seeking permission to poke around his carcass when he dies.

SNEAK PREVIEWS:  New tracks from My Morning Jacket, Shearwater, Feet Foxes, Cloud Cult and more are featured in the latest edition of All Songs Considered.

THE GUTTER TWINS:  Greg Dulli and Mark Lanegan talk to Pitchfork; Dulli drank iced tea and Lanegan watched the Bulls play the Celtics on TV (on mute).

DOMINIQUE LEON writes for Pitchfork, but you can download or stream some of techno takes on Brian Wilson and Harry Nilsson-inflected pop at Stereogum and the 'Gum Mix.

THE BLACK HOLLIES have anew album, but it's the garagey "Tell Me What You Want" that most folks have heard, thanks to the fine folks at Dell Computers.

THE B-52s get a segment and songs on NPR's All Things Considered.

JOHN VANDERSLICE talks to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch about influences from Bob Dylan to Lil' Wayne. He also gives a Spring-themed playlist to the Riverfront Times.  (Thx, LHB.)

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Sheff tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette why he has mixed feelings about being labeled as "lit-rock."

THE TOP TEN WORST HAIRSTYLES IN MUSIC, courtesy of MuchMusic.

CUTOUT BIN:  From The Clash to Jackie DeShannon, from The Feelies to Funkadelic, from The Individuals to INXS to the good, the bad and the ugly form the 80s, this expanded edition of Friday's fortuitous finds can be jukeboxed or streamed individually on the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NATALIE PORTMAN & DEVENDRA BANHART have been caught canoodling as she prepares to appear in the freak-folker's next music video.  You can find the money shot at People magazine.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are the unscreened horror flick Prom Night; the Keanu Reeves crime drama Street Kings, which is currently scoring 28 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; and the derk comedy Smart People, which is scoring 45 percent.

ASHLEE SIMPSON & PETE WENTZ are engaged.  The Fall Out Boy asked creepy dad-manager Joe for permission to propose; pneumatic sister Jessica "couldn't be happier."  All just in time for the release of Aslee's new album

BRITNEY SPEARS was so touched by the American Idol Gives Back show on Wednesday she donated 25K to the cause.  And now Moby claims he would wed the Toxic singer in a heartbeat: "The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her."

SCARLETT JOHANSSON & RYAN REYNOLDS had a bit of a lovers' spat in Boston's Financial District the other day.  Word is, the couple is going through "a rough patch," because Reynolds wants to tie the knot, but Scar-Jo is younger and very focused on her career.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY & SIENNA MILLER will première their steamy ménage a trois movie at the Edinburgh Film Festival.

PENELOPE CRUZ & JAVIER BARDEM are to marry later this year, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

WHITNEY HOUSTON's 27-year-old lover Ray-J written a song dissing her ex Bobby Brown and detailing his sex life with the diva.

INDIANA JONES and the Legion of Fans gets a story and video at USA Today.

MISCHA BARTON was sentenced to three years of unsupervised probation in a Beverly Hills courtroom Thursday in her DUI case.  Which is as good an excuse as any to link to new bikini pics at Egotastic.  Call it Gratuitous Friday.

MILA KUNIS talks about David Bowie, Chuck Norris and Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Complex magazine.  Photo gallery and video at the link.  Call it Doubly-gratuitous Friday.

ZOMBIE COMPUTERS are the most vexing net threat today, according to law enforcement and security professionals.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE OIL:  An area of shale and other rock in North Dakota and Montana is estimated to hold the largest potential oil resources in the 48 contiguous states, according to an assessment released Thursday by the United States Geological Survey.  The area, known as the Bakken Formation, might contain 3 billion to 4.3 billion barrels of oil that could be extracted using current technology, the survey said.

IRAQ:  Voices of Iraq quotes a leading figure in the Supreme Iraqi Islamic Council, Jalal el-Din al-Saghier, as saying that dissolving the Mahdi Army is Moqtada al-Sadr's responsibility, and that top Shiite cleric Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani called on the Mahdi Army to disarm.  The Jonestown Foundation breaks down the Shiite factions and Iran's Role in the Basra fighting.  The struggle for control of Sadr City has become a testing ground for the Iraqi military, which has been thrust into the lead.  Michael Yon wishes there were more US troops to patrol Niveneh province.

A CHEEKY GIBBON taunts two tigers, and has to hustle when he loses his grip!

MAN'S BEST FRIEND:  I refer, of course, to the giant snail.

AN INJURED BABY ZEBRA was rescued along I-75 outside Atlanta, GA.

ANIMAL HOARDING:  Authorities say a woman has been found living with hundreds of rats and four malnourished snakes in a home outside Rochester, WA.  It seems like everyone missed the obvious solution.

THE SWARM:  About 100 police officers in Mexico were forced to bolt from an open-air firing range when they were attacked - and stung - by swarming killer bees.

MAN MAN vocalist/keyboardist Honus Honus tells Chart that the band's latest release, Rabbit Habits, is their "pop record," though he has no idea whether it is accessible.  This week you can watch them recording on Pitchfork.tv and stream the album in full via Spinner.

MY BRIGHTEST DIAMOND, which now includes a full string quartet, visited WNYC to play a few new songs.

THE TING TINGS talk to the Irish Times about their pre-Tings failed major label deal and their clash of sonic styles.

TAPES N' TAPES did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter.  And you can stream their new album in full this week via Spinner.

HOLOGRAPHIC TOURING?  Serj Tankian, the frontman for System of a Down, wants to launch a virtual concert tour to reduce his carbon footprint.

AMBER RUBARTH records "Another Perfect Sunset" -- a countrified song she wrote on a songwriting retreat with Chris Difford -- for the latest Sun Studios Session.

AXL ROSE is pitching a reality TV show that would follow the troubled rocker as his continues his decade-long effort to release the Guns N' Roses project "Chinese Democracy."  The project would be part of a larger effort to build buzz for an album which faces a number of promotional hurdles.

FRIGHTENED RABBIT singer and guitarist Scott Hutchison talks to The Scotsman about their US appeal: "I don't know if we can put it solely down to the piñata but stuff like that helps."  You can stream tracks from the debut and upcoming albums at RabbitSpace.

EISLEY:  Stacy DuPree chatted with The Daily Texan to discuss life on the road, Combinations and why she can't get enough of Harry Potter.

KATHLEEN EDWARDS talks to Velocity Weekly about her love of bourbon and her concern over Canada.

JOHNNY DEPP plans to marry longtime galpal and baby mama Vanessa Paradis this summer, according to Life & Style magazine

SEAN PENN & ROBIN WRIGHT have dismissed their divorce actions.

MARY-LOUISE PARKER & JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN:  The Weeds co-stars have broken off their engagement, according to People magazine.

BEYONCE happily flashed a whopping hunk of diamond on her left-hand ring finger Tuesday night at Jay-Z's concert with Mary J. Blige at Atlanta's Phillips Arena.

GWYNETH PALTROW tells British Glamour that the rumors concerning her marriage are "ridiculous."

THE McCARTNEYS:  Heather Mills has issued an amazing list of dietary demands for daughter Bea while she is on holiday with Sir Paul.

JESSICA SIMPSON shaves for the cover of Esquire.  The shoot is a recreation of a famous Esquire image of Italian actress and Marilyn Monroe lookalike Virna Lisi from March 1965.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie was discussing Iraq education policy Tuesday in Washington D.C., she "felt kicking suddenly," she tells People magazine.

NAOMI CAMPBELL has been accused of hurling a torrent of racial abuse at a woman cop during her arrest at Heathrow last week.

BARRON HILTON pleaded no contest to DUI charges Wednesday in a Malibu, California, courthouse.  His license was suspended for a year, and he was placed on three years' probation.

KIRSTEN DUNST & RYAN GOSLING are co-starring in the upcoming "All Good Things," but are they dating?

HARRY POTTER star Daniel Radcliffe is preparing for his Broadway debut in the transfer of the London revival of Peter Shaffer's psychological stage drama Equus, which took the West End by storm when it opened in February 2007 - thanks to, among several reasons, Radcliffe's nearly 10-minute nude scene.

THE OFFICE returns with a new episode tonight. Jenna Fisher has a lengthy chat with an Office fansite (w/ mild spoilers).  John Krasinski talks to The A.V. Club about Leatherheads, The Office and more.

LOST:  Previously on Lost - "What?"

VENEZUELA:   A Venezuelan TV channel has yanked The Simpsons off the air because it may be inappropriate for children. Taking its place: Baywatch Hawaii.  D'oh!  Ooga-chucka!

MOSQUE & STATE in MN:  A report from the Mpls. Star-Tribune suggests that Tarek ibn Ziyad Academy is an Islamic charter school, funded by Minnesota taxpayers.  The ACLU of MN has launched an investigation of TIZA, and the MN Dept of Education has also begun a review.

NORTH KOREA:  Progress has been made on what North Korea will receive from the US in exchange for disclosing its nuclear activities, negotiators have said.

IRAN:  An Iranian court gave a two-year suspended sentence to a former senior nuclear negotiator who had been accused by Pres. Ahmadinejad of spying for the West.

IRAQ:  Interior Ministry forces have started their search for unauthorized weapons in Basra on Wednesday, a security spokesman said.  The marines of India Battery of the 3rd Battalion, 11th Regiment are fighting what they call the last insurgent stronghold in Anbar Province.  Iraqi police on Wednesday arrested a senior militant and close aide of AQI chief Abu Ayyub al-Masri in western Iraq's Anbar province, the provincial police chief said.

BARNEY the SWEARING PARROT is now teaching his bad habits to two other birds at the wildlife sanctuary where he lives.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  An elephant inside a giant soap bubble.

A FANGED CREATURE found in Utah after some ice melted on a pond has stumped biologists trying to determine what it is.  Pics and video at the link.

WISPA the LABRADOR helped her owner discover she was suffering from life-threatening breast cancer.

WOODY, the bird with a massive pecker that's triple the normal size.  Pic at the link.  SFW.

PITCHFORK.TV is online (and not crashing under the traffic now), featuring The Thermals, Radihead, Man Man, The Pixies and more this week...

KELLEY STOLTZ brings his classic pop to not four, but five free songs for Daytrotter, drawn from his past two LPs.

THE NATIONAL is the subject of a film, "A Skin, A Night," by Vincent Moon (La Blogotheque) coming to DVD on May 20th and packaged with a bonus cd, The Virginia EP.  Watch the trailer.

THE EELS:  Mark Everett stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

MUSIC FESTIVALS:  The Chicago Tribune notes the fests defy the music industry's troubles, while other music promoters grumble.

R.E.M. turned up on the Colbert Report last week; you can watch the interview and the performance via Red Lasso.  Remember, what's good for GM is good for R.E.M.  ALSO:  At Hitsville, critic Bill Wyman notes that Rolling Stone's reviews of their last four records have all been "comeback"-themed.  Nice allusion to Jane Austen's Emma also.

CARBON/SILICON:  Mick Jones (The Clash, B.A.D.) and Tony James (Generation X) played the World Cafe, so you can stream the whole gig on demand via NPR.

THE ROLLING STONES are taking questions at YouTube.  Paste has suggestions for questions you might ask.

MY MORNING JACKET frontman Jim James gives a video preview of five tracks from the band's upcoming Evil Urges album at Rolling Stone.

PETE DOHERTY has been sentenced to 14 weeks in jail for violating a probation order.  NME cited a court spokesman as saying Doherty had used different kinds of drugs, breached "time keeping," and generally not complied with his probation.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Cruise's Nazi assassination plot film Valkyrie gets knocked to Presidents' Weekend, 2009.  Which is also Valentine's Day weekend.  Because nothing says romance like Nazis.  Or maybe the thing stinks like a whorehouse at low tide.  BONUS:  The latest target of Cruise's legal team?  Randy Jones, the original Village People cowboy.

BEYONCE & JAY-Z:  Buzz is building that this weekend's quickie nuptials were actually a shotgun wedding.

PATRICK SWAYZE has had an "excellent" response to treatment for pancreatic cancer, the actor and his doctor said Tuesday.

JESSICA SIMPSON gives her webcam a workout for the benefit of bf Tony Romo, according to the ever-reliable Star magazine.

THE FRENCH HOTEL in Africa:  'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"  I don't know, sheetheat; how about an Oompa-Loompa?

LINDSAY LOHAN offered to do the full monty as a nymphomaniac waitress in the indie film "Florence," for which she is being paid a mere 75K.  The producers declined.  Also, Li-Lo has been slapped with a 55K lawsuit by a man who claims the actress never paid him while he was her bodyguard.

GEORGE CLOONEY chills out with Elle Macpherson, Thandie Newton, Clooney, Natasha McElhone, Helena Bonham Carter and Mariella Frostrup.  It's good to be George Clooney.

ROB LOWE, who accused a former nanny of trying to extort 1.5 million from him and his wife, went a step further on Monday, filing three separate lawsuits against two of his former nannies and his former chef - whom he claims had sex on Lowe's bed "with third parties" and stole prescription drugs.  Lowe has posted an article on The Huffington Post condemning the ex-nanny.

MISCHA BARTON will accept a plea deal in her DUI case, sparing her any jail time, according to People magazine.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON plays sexy nurse Silk N. Floss in Frank Miller's adaptation of The Spirit.  This may be the only pic left online.  Can you beat the lawyers?

STAR TREK:  You can watch the entire original series, thanks to the fine folks at CBS.  Khaaaaan!

IRAN has begun installing 6000 new centrifuges at its uranium enrichment plant in Natanz, state television quoted Pres. Ahmadinejad as saying Tuesday.  Ahmadinejad also accused the US of using the 9/11 attacks as a "pretext" to launch invasions and cast doubt on the accepted version of the terror strikes.

IRAQ:  Moqtada al-Sadr canceled his protest march he scheduled for Tuesday in the streets of Baghdad.  Regarding disbanding the Mahdi Army, al-Sadr's spokesman says on the one hand that al-Sadr has consulted with Iraq's Shiite clerical leadership "and they refused that," but did not provide details of the talks.  OTOH, he also denied that al-Sadr had referred the dissolution of al-Mahdi army to Shiite clerics, describing reports in this regard as inaccurate.  MIchael J. Totten covers reconstruction efforts by the US Marines in Fallujah.  Pres. Bush awarded the Medal of Honor to Navy SEAL Michael A. Monsoor, who was killed in 2006 when he threw himself on a grenade in Iraq to save his comrades.

SNOWFLAKE (a/k/a FLOCKE) the polar bear cub made her public debut at the Nuremburg Zoo.  More awww...some pics at the link.

CIRCLES the DUCK has received an order of protection to keep it safe after being shot and wounded by a neighbor with a pellet gun.

MISSING ELEPHANT found in Carbondale, IL.  Due to the size, the elephant was transported back to the Murphysboro Police Department by Express Towing.

WILD TURKEYS attack postal workers in Madison, WI.

BEACH DONKEY BINGO:  A donkey code of practice is being brought in to stop anyone over 50.8kg (8st) from riding the animals amid growing fears that Britain's 850 donkeys are buckling under the weight of heavier children and putting their health at risk.