DR. DOG play "Stranger" for Fallon.

CARIBOU is advance streaming Swim. (Thx, Chromewaves.)

THE VIVIAN GIRLS were guests on this week's edition of Sound Opinions.

QUASI is profiled by All Things Considered.

THE STRANGE BOYS get a Twofer on the World Cafe.

THE FUGS get a feature plus tracks from All Things Considered.

MONSTERS OF FOLK: "Dear God."

LOU REED talks to The Quietus about Metal Machine Music, and not about various other topics.

NEIL YOUNG and JONATHAN DEMME Skype about the Neil Young Trunk Show.

SPOON: Britt Daniel talks to Reverb about Starbucks, religion and the Drudge Report. (Thx, LHB.)

ANDREW W.K.: "It's time to let you hear the song which earned me a juvenile restraining order."

TIGER WOODS slept with his neighbor's 21-year-old daughter, according to the new issue of the National Enquirer.

LINDSAY LOHAN wants to vomit over the engagement of her ex-con Dad to Kate Major, the former reporter who was previously romantically linked to Jon Gosselin.

TIKI BARBER: The football star-turned-"Today" show-correspondent dumped his 8-months-pregnant wife for a sexy former NBC intern, according to the NYP.

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT says she has been cheated on "a lot."

CONAN O'BRIEN has learned to embrace the Internet after losing his Tonight Show gig.

MARTINA NAVRATILOVA has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She believes she will make a full recovery.

AFGHANISTAN: The White House offered fresh signals of its displeasure with Pres. Karzai, hinting that it might cancel his Washington meeting with President Obama next month.

IRAQ: The US Army is now 35 percent complete in its effort to move equipment and materiel out as part of the withdrawal; the process -- and repair and redeployment of materiel to Afghanistan -- is running ahead of shedule. 

STANDING CAT: Let's go to the video.

A MACAQUE MONKEY has been recruited by police to "man" a checkpoint in southern Thailand.

AN "ORIENTAL YETI" has baffled scientists after emerging from ancient woodlands in remote central China.

A SERVICE DOG is ineligible for food stamps, a Pennsylvania appeals court ruled Tuesday.

LISSIE covers Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance."

SPOON stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set.

TITUS ANDRONICUS also stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set.

JAKOB DYLAN did a Tiny Desk Concert visited Studio 4A at NPR.

FREEDY JOHNSTON did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, including one of my faves of his, "Bad Reputation" (which is not the Joan Jett number).

STARS drops "Fixed" as an advance track for The Five Ghosts.

SHE & HIM play "Thieves" for Kimmel. Another late night, another bit of Zooey having a deer in the headlights moment for no reason.

THE SPECIALS (minus Jerry Dammers) are coming back to the US for the first time since 1981: "All I wanted to do was rekindle our friendships, because we spent such a long period together and an intense period, and then it disappeared," Terry Hall said later of the long-estranged band's reunion, which was spurred, in part, by his suicide attempt in 2004.

ELVIS PRESLEY: Did the mainstream media's overwrought coverage crown Elvis as the King, instead of a Gene Vincent or Eddie Cochran?

THURSTON MOORE will teach Avant Garde Preschool in NYC.  Kids must be aged 8-12.

ROBERT POLLARD, Hall of Famer?

SANDRA BULLOCK and JESSE JAMES: Bullock broke her silence during her marriage crisis, denying an Internet report there's a sex tape with her and husband Jesse James. RadarOnline claims James has more than 12 homemade sex tapes... with other women, and that Bullock has yet to file divorce papers because she's worried her angry husband will spill her secrets.

NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN has sued Marc Cherry, the creator of "Desperate Housewives," alleging he struck her across the head and face on the set, and after she complained he fired her.

GEORGE CLOONEY denies breakup rumors.

JIM CARREY & JENNY McCARTHY: Dunzo, after a five-year relationship.

LINDSAY LOHAN can now barely make ends meet.

HEIDI MONTAG cannot jog anymore, because of the 10 plastic surgeries.

MADONNA broke ground at the girls' school she's financing in Malawi.

DENNIS HOPPER will be paying 12K monthly to his estranged wife, whom he accused of tyring to kill him.

IRAN: Michael J. Totten interviews "Reza Kahlili," who was a member of Khomeini's Revolutionary Guards -- and a CIA agent. Iran's foreign spokesman said that Tehran is ready to renew negotiations... but he says the discussion about Iran's nuclear program is a "closed case."

AFGHANISTAN: Why Karzai Is Pushing Back Against the US.

IRAQ: The Baghdad area was hit with the third major attack in four days as bombs were detonated in residential areas of the capital, killing 35 Iraqis and wounding scores more.  While no group has taken responsibility for the attacks, al Qaeda in Iraq has conducted similar attacks in the past in an attempt to stoke sectarian violence between minority Sunnis and majority Shia.

TUXEDO KITTEH: Let's go to the video.

WHEN WOMBATS ATTACK: A Black Saturday bushfire survivor is recovering in hospital after he was attacked by a wombat outside his caravan north-east of Melbourne today.

DARIUS is the new World's Largest Bunny.

RENEGADE COWS on the block.

SHE & HIM play "In The Sun" late at nght in NYC. Zooey tends to starehere, suggesting she's not in a tour groove yet, though she sounds fine.

NEW RELEASES: Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings, Jakob Dylan (and guests), Dr. Dog, Harlem, Jonsi,  Laura Marling, Matt Pond PA, Solomon Burke, Love is All and more are streaming this week via Spinner.

THE NELS CLINE SINGERS are advance streaming Initiate via NPR.

JEFF BECK is advance streaming Emotion and Commotion via NPR.

AU REVOIR SIMONE did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter again.

THE THERMALS have a new track, "Separate," streaming at the moment.

THE HOLD STEADY dropped an advance track called "The Weekenders" on the MTV.

ROBYN HITCHCOCK and the VENUS 3 release Propellor Time tomorrow -- and while I didn't find a (legit) stream of the album, we do have an interview and a video for "Ordinary Millionaire," a track with music (and some guitar) from Johnny Marr. Add a classic free-associating Robyn on late night TV playing "Lost Madonna of the Wasps" and you have Twofer Tuesday.

R.E.M.: Happy Belated 30th Birthday!

THE NATIONAL: Matt Berninger and Aaron Dessner talk to The Quietus about in-studio strife, making a scrappier record than Boxer, and "summer lovin' torture parties" in decrepit Grey Gardens-style mansions.

GANG OF FOUR is self financing their next album, so if you would like vials of their blood, they want to hear from you.

BOB DYLAN: Banned from playing in China. The times, they aren't a-changin'.

KEITH RICHARDS, LORD OF THE UNDEAD, reveals a deep, dark secret to the Times of London.

SANDRA BULLOCK and JESSE JAMES: radarOnline has been all over their story, claiming that Bullock has prepared divorce papers, their prenup specifies he gets no money in a divorce if he cheats during the marriage, and that James bolted from rehab after Bullock refused to take his phone call.

TIGER WOODS is reportedly employing a virtual army of approx. 90 private bodyguards -- including former FBI and Secret Service agents -- to protect the golfer at The Masters, where he did the obligatory presser Monday..

BRADGELINA visited Bosnia on Monday, spotlighting the plight of 117K people who have not able to return to their homes, even 15 years after the end of the war.

GWYNETH PALTROW tells Vogue she can be a vengeful, angry woman. Shocka!

CHLOE MORETZ, coming to big screens soon in Kick-A$$, is also starring in an American version of the acclaimed Swedish vampire flick, Let the Right One In.

CAMERON CROWE is still struggling to make a Marvin Gaye biopic.

IRON MAN 2 has posted a two-minute clip of the big entrance at Stark Expo.

IRAN: An Iranian nuclear scientist who defected to the US after disappearing in Saudi Arabia last year said the CIA's efforts to disrupt the program have showed progress. The current sanctions regime have had no impact on Iran's bottom line.

AFGHANISTAN: Pres. Karzai attacked the West for its involvement in Afghanistan and threatened to join the Taliban.

IRAQ: Forty-one Iraqis were killed and more than 250 were wounded in a triple suicide attack that targeted the Egyptian, Iranian, and German embassies in Baghdad -- but no foreign embassy personnel were reported killed. Kinda like Khan, they keep missing the target.

DOG and DEER, playing together... Mass hysteria!

SHEEP vs ALIENS: Who you got?

SALAMANDERS are getting a 150K, taxpayer-funded crossing in Monkton, VT. Apparently, the recession is way over in Vermont.

PANTS FOR DOGS: The horror. Ther's a reason why this is usually only seen in cartoons.

THREE SHARKS and an OCTOPUS found... in Tennessee. Paging Davy Crockett or Jacques Cousteau?

I'M TAKING A SICK DAY, but hope to return tomorrow with all the usual tripe.  To tide you over, a few showbiz items:

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Clash of the Titans takes the top spot with 61 million.  That's the best Easter weekend opening ever. And had it not been for Easter Sunday, it might well have been the best April opening ever (that title remains with the last Fast & Furious movie, at 71 million).  Why Did I Get Married Too took in 30.2 million, which almost certainly makes it instantly profitable, given that Tyler Perry pics generally cost about 20 million. How to Train Your Dragon made 29.2 million -- its 33 percent drop has to be considered good, given the 3-D encroachment from Titans and the Easter Sunday. The Last Song made 16.2 million (25.6 million since opening last Wednesday); Miley and a low budget save this from failure. Alice in Wonderland rounds out the Top Five; its 53 percent drop was largely expected -- but shed no tears for 672.8 million in receipts worldwide.

SANDRA BULLOCK and JESSE JAMES: A moving van was seen in front of Jesse James' Seal Beach, Calif. home on Friday -- nearly three weeks after Sandra Bullock is said to have moved out.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: the NYP has the lurid (and denied) allegations of the Boss having an affair with a married Jersey Girl.

JOHN FORSYTHE, the debonair actor whose matinee-idol looks, confident charm and mellifluous voice helped make him the star of three hit television series, including ABC's "Charlie's Angel's" and "Dynasty," died last Thursday at his home in Santa Ynez, Calif. He was 92.

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

... with UPBEAT! Syndicated out of Cleveland, Upbeat never achieved the status of American Bandstand, but attracted any number of major acts from 1964-71, including Otis Redding on the day before he died in that plane crash. Today's selections include Stevie Wonder with "For Once In My Life," Joe South with "Games People Play," Joe Tex with "Skinny Legs and All," Archie Bell and the Drells with "Tighten Up" (which just might be my favorite) Jerry Butler with "Only the Strong Survive," and the O'Kaysions with "I'm a Girl Watcher."

THE CLIENTELE stopped by Oregon Public Broadcasting for a chat and mini-set in audio and video.

FIELD MUSIC stopped by Morning Becomes Eclectic for a chat and mini-set.

WILL STRATTON stopped by WNYC for a chat and mini-set. BONUS: There's a downloadable EP at the link, too.

WILSON PICKETT is profiled on Fresh Air in connection with a new box set of his Atlantic output.

THE MUPPETS: "Stand By Me."

YOUR BIRTH DATE SONG: What does it say about you? 

FANFARLO talks to Donewaiting about touring the Midwest for the first time. There's a link to a downloadable EP, too.

LISSIE is profiled by the BBC and interviewed by Aquarium Drunkard (Thx, Chromewaves.)

THE XX: Oliver Sim talks to Greg Kot about the evolution of the band's sound, and transitioning to festival gigs.

THE CUTOUT BIN: From Steve Miller to Soft Cell, from Elvis Costello to Ray Charles, from Jason & the Scorchers to Hall & Oates, from Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings to Echo & the Bunnymen, plus the Kinks, Arab Strap, Marvin Gaye, Beau Brummells, Rick James and more  -- is streaming from the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases include Clash of the Titans, which is currently scoring 33 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; The Last Song, currently scoring 12 percent; and Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too, which (per usual for Perry) was not screened for critics.

SANDRA BULLOCK and JESSE JAMES: Bullock is reconsidering her divorce options and believes she can save their marriage, a friend of the star tells PopEater. Other accounts say definitely decided to file for divorce and mention nasty phone fights between the couple. Maybe that's when James admitted to seven affairs. Allegedly. James' lawyer denies James is a neo-Nazi.

TIGER WOODS may have settled with mistress Rachel Uchitel for as much as ten million dollars.

CHARLIE SHEEN is leaving Two and Half Men? More like a negotiation.

ANNA PAQUIN of True Blood is publicly revealing she's bisexual. There's video.

ANGELINA JOLIE's former bodyguard describes what he claims to be a woman whose erratic behavior, yelling fits and unreasonable demands deeply hurt not only staff members - but especially Brad Pitt and their six children.

JENNIFER ANISTON: People are strting to notice that her career isn't going much better than her private life.

SUSAN SARANDON talks about life since splitting with her partner of two decades, Tim Robbins.

DENNIS HOPPER's wife tried to kill him, allegedly.

KATE HUDSON is putting her ex Alex Rodriguez to shame when it comes to playing the field.

FANTASTIC VOYAGE is headed back to the big screen in 3-D.

THE EXPENDABLES trailer is online.

WHY IS THIS SATURDAY DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER DAYS?  Because ABC has its annual showing of The Ten Commandments, a grand spectacle featuring acting from Edward G. Robinson and Anne Baxter that is so over-the-top that Yul Brenner starts to look good by comparison.  And while Robinson's Dathan never actually spoke the line "Where's your Messiah now?" in the movie, it  -- like "Play It Again, Sam" (not spoken in Casablanca) -- has become part of a part of our culture. The line actually comes from Billy Crystal (sample), originally a bit from the Oscars, iirc. It later turned up o­n The Simpsons, with Chief Wiggum playing Dathan to Ned Flanders' Moses.

IRAN: China agreed to make steps toward supporting new sanctions on Iran? Not really. And both stories ran in the NYT, whose editors aren't paying attention.  Tehran sent its chief nuclear negotiator to Beijing to discuss the threat of new sanctions.

AFGHANISTAN: Members of parliament rejected President Karzai's plan to appoint all five members of the Electoral Complaints Commission. Karzai warned that "the insurgency will change to a national resistance" if foreign countries interfered with his appointments to the ECC.

FRISKIES: One of their psychedelic ads gets a proper remix.

TOADS are able to detect pre-seismic cues such as the release of gases and charged particles, and use these as a form of earthquake early warning system.

DENTED FISH falls from the sky, now swims at sushi restaurant.

ASTRO-MICE are scheduled to fly on the space shuttle Discovery on Monday to spend 13 days aboard the international space station in an experiment to study the effects of life in zero gravity on their immune systems.

COCKROACH OF THE SEA: An enormous crustacean that attached itself to a submarine scouring the depths of the Gulf of Mexico is eliciting shock, awe and a touch of skepticism among Web readers -- but scientists say the critter is just an impressive example of a supersized species.

PEEPS SHOW: The Washington Post's traditional contest.