THE KAISER CHIEFS "Never Miss A Beat" in their latest video.

NEW RELEASES: Calexico, Passion Pit, and Chad Van Gaalen are among the albums streaming via Spinner this week.  Okkervil River releases The Stand-Ins. The Horse Feathers release House With No Home. The Lovely Sparrows Bury The Cynics.

JIMMY PAGE: Downplaying a Zeppelin reunion... or prodding Robert Plant?

RADIOHEAD: The full concert at the Santa Barbara Bowl is now steaming on demand via NPR.

JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE does six free songs for Daytrotter, including a conutrified cover of The Replacements' "Can't Hardly Wait."

BRIAN WILSON survives a phone interview with Pitchfork. Ironically, he seems more animated performing for AOL Sessions, which is your Fivefer Tuesday.  He even manages a few smiles during "Going Home," which is odd if you listen to the lyrics.

THE RAVEONETTES will trade you EPs for contact info.

THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR: The biggest online survey of personal memories ever conducted aims to see how Beatles associations shed light on the psychological effect of autobiographical memory.

TORTOISE: Doug McCombs talks to NOW Toronto about starting work on the band's first new album in four years.

DR. DOG: Scott McMicken talks to the Birmingham Weekly about the band's new album and current tour.

THE MTV VMAs, boiled down to two minutes of your life you'll never get back. Host Russell Brand insulted Pres. Bush and the Jonas Bros - and got in trouble for the latter.

BRITNEY SPEARS, the big "winner" at the VMAs is said to be "furious" with her mother, as Mama Lynne's book blames all of Britney's problems on her daughter's former managers, whereas Britney feels Lynne herself caused so many of her problems and issues.

JESSICA SIMPSON makes her debut at the Grand Ole Opry, with some in the audience thinking she should have put some clothes on.  Which seems to me to invert the entire Jessica Simpson singing-dressing equation.

MINNIE DRIVER became a first-time mom to son Henry Story Driver.

UMA THURMAN: Pregnancy rumors.

HEATHER MILLS is writing a book about a model who falls for a world-famous rock star and marries him before the relationship turns sour. Shocka!

THE DARK KNIGHT: Michael Caine kinda sorta confirms rumors about Jhnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin in the next installment of the Batman franchise -- though afaik, there's been no work on a script yet.

BIG BUDGET AUTEURS: Blood pressure has risen for execs at Fox, Paramount and Warner Bros. over, respectively, "Avatar," "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and "Where the Wild Things Are."  James Cameron says Avatar makes Titanic look like a picnic. Avatar is being made in stereoscopic 3-D and combines live action and computer animation.  WTWTA is back on Warner Bros.' release schedule, set for a release on Oct. 16, 2009.

SCIENTOLOGY: Over a period of twelve hours, American Rights Counsel LLC sent out over 4000 DMCA takedown notices to YouTube, all making copyright infringement claims against videos with content critical of the Church of Scientology.  Meanwhile, a French judge has ordered two departments and seven prominent members of the Church of Scientology in France to stand trial on charges of organized fraud.

TERROR in the UK/US: Three men charged in an plot to explode bombs on trans-Atlantic airliners bound for the United States and Canada were convicted Monday in London of conspiracy to murder.

ADAM GADAHN, al-Qaeda's prize American recruit and propaganda chief may have been killed in a CIA-directed airstrike.

PAKISTAN: Despair among human rights workers over a rash of so-called "honour killings" intensified yesterday when it was disclosed that a girl forced into marriage with a 45-year-old man at the age of nine had been killed by her parents because she asked for an annulment.

IRAN's first nuke plant is almost ready.

IRAQ: Pres. Bush will announce plans to withdraw about 8000 US troops by February 2009 and deploy soldiers to Afghanistan where violence has been surging.

BELLA the LABRADOR, believed to be the oldest dog in the world, has died - aged around 203 in dog years.

HOMER the LABRADOR survived horrific injuries when he was hit by an express train -- because his wound was seared shut by the intense heat from the 125 mph train.

LEAPING CARP, Broken Jaw.

A SNAKE PARKED WAS ROBBED of money hard-earned by a man who has been living in a snake cage for 85 days.

A LARGE SHARK towed a surfer out to sea like a "powerful jet ski' after it became entangled in the leg rope of his surfboard. What say you, Police Chief Brody?