PUSHING MAXIMUM DENSITY: On Black Friday, I followed Thanksgiving dinner by taking friends to Mr. Beef for lunch.  Oof.  I am Mr. Creosote (nsfw).

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Scheff talked to Harp magazine about the various ways the band's latest album, The Stage Names, reflects on celebrity and fandom.  The band's latest video, "Girl In Port," actually features Scheff playing solo.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:  E Street Band keyboardist Danny Federici has dropped out of the group's current US tour to undergo treatment for skin cancer.  The Boss and Arcade Fireman Win Butler gave a joint interview to SPIN which is excerpted online, in which we discover that Bruce watches stuff on YouTube -- the clip mentioned is linked and discussed at the 'Gum.

ST. VINCENT:  Annie Clark talked to the Times of London about family matters, starting with her mother's reaction to her debut album, Marry Me.

THE ACORN, led by singer and multi-instrumentalist Rolf Klausener, based the new album's material on interviews with his mother, Gloria Esperanza Montoya, a half-Mayan Honduran emigrant.  You can stream a few from Glory Hope Mountain via AcornSpace.

NELLIE McKAY played WHYY's Fresh Air show, so you can stream the whole set on demand via NPR.

THE MOUNTAIN GOATS have announced the title and tracklist for their next album, due February 19th, 2008.

BILLY BRAGG has announced the title and tracklist for his next album, due next March 3rd.

TEGAN & SARA:  The Canadian acoustic pop duo did an interview, mini-set and video for the Bryant Park Project you can stream on demand via NPR.  The are also one of three bands you can see in the current family-themed 3x3 show streaming via Spinner.  The Cleveland Free Times notes the twins' differing songwriting approaches on The Con.  DC's Express profiles them, noting that friend and filmmaker Angela Kendall documented the making of the new record, and even helped them stage a daily call-in show in the basement of their rental house when they weren't busy recording.  There are embedded videos in the piece as well.  There is also a new Aussie video for "Monday, Monday, Monday."  Perhaps I should have included them on my Faves 2007 list.

LED ZEPPELIN are trying to get in shape for their big reunion gig.  Jimmy Page is a little rusty, while Robert Plant cannot hit those high notes the way he once did.  Bassist John Paul Jones had a fitness trainer visit him.  Fans can brush up with Zeppelin A to Z from London's Observer.

YO LA TENGO:  Bradley's Almanac has posted one of the band's "Freewheeling" shows at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston (presumably not the room where they keep the Cezanne), which you can jukebox via the ol' HM.

INDIE SELLS OUT:  CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy, a Portuguese translation of "tired of being sexy," taken from a Beyoncé Knowles quote) released its debut LP in July 2006 and sold about 340 copies a week.  Then Nick Haley paired the band's dance-pop song "Music is My Hot, Hot Sex" with his 30-second amateur video, displaying the capabilities of Apple's new iPod Touch -- which Apple liked so much it became the basis for Apple's newest iPod commercial.  In the next two weeks, CSS sold 2,000 records and climbed to No. 15 in song downloads and No. 5 in ringtone sales at Apple's iTunes Store.

WEEN:  Dean and Gene were interviewed on All Things Considered, which you can stream (plus three songs) on demand via NPR.

BEIRUT:  Zach Condon talked to Drowned In Sound about how the songs on The Flying Club Cup album were inspired by an old piano, on which none of the black keys worked except F sharp.

AMY WINEHOUSE wiped away tears as her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil was denied bail, which means he will spend Christmas in jail awaiting a Jan. 18 hearing.  Peter Pepper, the singer in much-hyped band Palladium, accuses Winehouse of killing his hamster.  Meanwhile, Pete Doherty claims he and Amy were helping each other to battle drugs.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Enchanted certainly was for Disney, as its chart-topping 35 million (50 million five-day total) was its most successful Thanksgiving opening since Toy Story 2 in 1999.  This Christmas placed surprisingly strong with 18 million (27 million five-day) on a budget of only 13 million.  Beowulf continued to do just okay biz with 16 million.  Hitman debuted in fourth with 13 million.  Bee Movie and Fred Claus took punishment from Enchanted, earning 12 and 10.7 mil, respectively.  August Rush debuted in seventh with 9.4 million.  American Gangster dropped from No. 3 to No. 8, making another 9.2 million.  The Mist opened in ninth place with 9 million.  No Country For Old Men dropped from seventh to tenth, but almost doubled its total receipts with 8 million earned in near-wide release.

ENCHANTED:  I'm sorta reluctant to review a movie that so many people already saw this weekend, but Amy Adams really deserves (but likely will not get) a second Oscar nomination for playing Giselle, the would-be fairytale princess.  It's a role that would be easy to get spectacularly wrong by veering too far toward either the saccharine or the ironic, but Adams nails it.  I would say the same of James Marsden's Prince Edward, but he's had too much experience in this type of role (which is the most I can say without a spoiler).  Patrick Dempsey is okay as the wronged divorce lawyer, though he (or director Kevin Lima) should have had him more annoyed during the Central Park number.  It's Disney's Shrek, which means that the Mouse is now poking fun at himself, though not as sharply as others.

BRITNEY SPEARS has taken up with a waiter.  Her CD and single are spiraling down the charts.  As it becomes more likely that Fed-Ex will maintain full custody of their two boys, her family are banding together to ask the pop tart to give rehab another try.  But Spears reportedly is in talks to adopt Chinese twins, according to the uber-reliable News of the World, which puts it in the "likely untrue, but too funny not to share" bin.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA having criticized her fellow Mouseketeer Spears as lacking self-control and acting like trailer trash, should know that the paparazzi will be sure to photograph her going commando, even if she's pregnant.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul was... wait for it... caught canoodling Rosanna Arquette, according to the News of the World, which at least has some photos of them together.  Meanwhile, Heather Mills claimed she is being treated worse than a pedophile and murderer by the media.  Mills and her new mouthpiece are threatening to permanently cut off any news media outlet that dares make fun of Mills.

I'M NOT THERE was the second half of my double-feature this weekend, and it's a bit of a fairy tale as well.  Ostensibly a biopic of Bob Dylan, Todd Haynes succeeded in making a Dylanesque film "based on the music and many lives" of the folk-rock icon.  Most of the plaudits will go to Cate Blanchett, who does a remarkable job portraying the Don't Look Back-era Dylan -- but I wonder whether if that is in part because that Dylan is the one that most (or most Dylan fans, anyway) have seen.  For example, Christian Bale credibly takes on some of Dylan moments that were in their own way more controversial; should he get less credit simply because these episodes show Dylan turning on the liberal, secular crowds who helped boost him to fame?  Other Dylans are even less recognizable, though they all in their own way follow a similar arc in their intertwined journeys.  I would recommend this for Dylan fans, but those unfamiliar with his general bio and the range of his aesthetic may be baffled.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise's secretive life is to be revealed in a new book by bestselling British author Andrew Morton , making allegations about why Cruise has been dogged by rumors about his sexuality, what went on in his past marriages and relationships, etc.  Cruise's lawyer is already making noise about defamation.  And coincidentally, pr0n star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi tells In Touch magazine: "Everything I've found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual."  NTTAWWT.

KATE MOSS smoked spliffs, got high on poppers and begged a DJ for drugs at a showbiz pal's birthday party, according to a report in London's Mirror.

BRADGELINA:  Jamie Oliver, a/k/a "The Naked Chef," reportedly incurred Jolie's wrath by accidentally making a spoonerism of Shiloh Pitt during a congratulatory phone call about Beowulf.

WHEN BACHELORETTES ATTACK:  Mary Delgado was arrested for assaulting the fiance that proposed to her at the end of The Bachelor's sixth season.

BOY GEORGE was ordered to stand trial after a Norwegian man claimed the singer handcuffed him to a bed and threatened him with sex toys.

HEIDI KLUM got more than a little crazy -- and maybe nsfw -- shooting a commercial for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which airs December 4th.  Among the topics is the effect of cold weather on certain parts of human anatomy.  Yes, it's gratuitous Monday.

CONSPIRACY THEORIES:  Nearly two-thirds of Americans believe the federal government had warnings about 9/11 but decided to ignore them, a national survey found. And that's just for starters.

PAKISTAN:  Exiled former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has returned to Pakistan. The army has begun the ground offensive in Swat; 30 Taliban and two soldiers were reported killed. The Taliban destroyed food stocks destined to feed pregnant women suffering from malnutrition in South Waziristan.

IRAN:  Police responsible for moral crimes have announced death sentences for 50 people in the latest clampdown on what the authorities term as "immoral behavior."  In a rare attack on Pres. Ahmadinejad, a hardline newspaper has accused him of behaving immorally towards his political rivals.  Meanwhile, Iran has produced its own nuclear fuel pellets of enriched uranium for the first time to power its under construction heavy water research reactor, according to Vice President Gholam Reza Aghazadeh.  Of course, the Russians are to provide uranium for the plant being built at Beshehr, which raises the question of why the mullahs are gung ho to be enriching uranium.

IRAN and IRAQ:  Iraq's most influential Shiite politician said Sunday that the US had not backed up claims that Iran is fueling violence in Iraq.  OTOH, more than 300000 Shiite Muslims from southern Iraq have signed a petition condemning Iran for fomenting violence in Iraq, according to a group of sheiks leading the campaign.  The petition, which the organizers said was signed by 600 sheiks, calls on the UN to investigate what it termed crimes committed by Iran and its proxies in southern Iraq.  Four members of an Iranian-backed Shiite cell confessed to bombing a public market in central Baghdad, a US spokesman said Saturday.

IRAQ:  The CSM has a piece on Ammar al-Hakim promoting a federation of nine provinces where conservative Shiite Islam would reign.  The Chicago Tribune has a piece on Abul Abed, a disgruntled Sunni insurgent leader who helped kick AQI out of its stronghold in the Amariyah neighborhood of Baghdad.  The NYT/IHT reports that the Bush Admin. has lowered its expectation of quickly achieving major steps toward unifying the country, focusing on reconciliation.  The NYT's Damien Cave  did a Q&A on the State of Iraq, reconcilaition and whether progress can be held as the US "surge" recedes.  Elsewhere, the NYT reports that remaining US troops will (return to) training and supporting Iraqi forces.  Bill Roggio argues that the rapidly expanding Iraqi Army is where the real surge in forces is occurring.  Both the Times of London and the Washington Post have pieces on returning refugees; the latter reports that Iraqi officials say 1,000 are arriving each day.  FNC reports that a map drawn by the late AQI leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi turned up last December in an AQ safe house and essentially gave US war planners insight into the terrorist group's methods for moving explosives, fighters and money into Baghdad.  The map can be downloaded at the link.

SUMMER the RABBIT is tending to six abandoned kitties.

A GANG of TORTOISES have gone missing after a raid at the Pet and Aquatic Centre in Wales last week.

COMBAT-TEAINED CAMELS are being dispatched from India to solve the transport headache facing a fledgling UN-African Union peacekeeping force in Sudan's strife-torn Darfur region.

MAN SHOOTS GOAT after his wife refused to buy him beer.  The man, that is.

MAN SHOOTS COW he claims he mistook for a coyote.  The authorities and the owner are skeptical.

BABE the BLUE OX has been beheaded.  Axe-wielding Paul Bunyan is not a suspect?

THE THRESHER SHARK that became entangled in Roger Nowell's net is believed to be the largest ever caught, weighing in at 1,125lb (510kg) and measuring 16½ft (5m) from its snout to the tip of its vast, sickle-shaped tail.  Nowell's boat sustained heavy damage in the process.  Cue Sheriff Brody (nsfw)!