HOW COULD I FORGET? Happy Birthday, Elvis Presley... wherever you are. WILLIE NELSON, JOE ELY AND ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO will headline a benefit concert for tsunami victims Sunday night in Austin. LOU REED and Robert Plant will perform at this year's SXSW. Not together, I hope. Would they play both versions of "Rock and Roll?" SEATTLE FITTEST U.S. CITY in a survey by Men's Fitness magazine. Chicago was fifth fattest out of the 50 cities in the survey, beaten out by cities like Memphis. Perhaps it's a coffee versus barbeque thing. THE NEW YORK OBSERVER has some great advice for Robert DeNiro. PLUS: The NYO also crunches the numbers on celebrity charities. Bruce Springsteen does well, Whitney Houston, not so well. PORN: Becoming mainstream media, according to some in this CBS story. GUIDED BY VOICES: Celia Farber adds her remembrance. JUDGE ANDREW P. NAPOLITANO, now a senior analyst with Fox News Channel, is not a fan of the Patriot Act or the amendments made by the Intelligence Reform Act.
CATS have a tailor to satisfy their demand for frog costumes.
CHEESE RACING is sweeping Great Britain. Wait until Robyn Hitchcock finds out! APPLE BEING SUED by someone claiming Apple is breaking anti-competition laws in refusing to let music players other than iPods work with Apple's iTunes service. And somewhere else, Bill Gates is laughing himself silly. PEOPLE WRITING SONGS THAT VOICES NEVER SHARE: Meanwhile, Apple is selling sounds of silence not recorded by Simon and Garfunkel for the usual 99 cents a track. TiVO: Thinking outside the (set-top) box. THE VILLAGE VOICE runs an article on hip-hop's 30th anniversary, suggenting that the moment hip-hop "disappeared from the air and marketplace might be the moment when we'd discover whether hiphop truly was a cultural force or a manufacturing plant, a way of being or a way of selling porn DVDs, Crunk juice, and S. Carter signature sneakers, blessed be the retired." WHY I LOVE LAWYERS: Fear of silly lawsuits causes companies to put wacky labels on their products, such as the toilet brush with the label "Do not use for personal hygiene." HANS MORAVEC starts a company to realize his prediction that we would someday routinely download our minds into robots. As seen on Friends. IKEA: Lost in translation. WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH has the latest sexual assault claim brought against him dismissed. THE SOCIAL CUSTOMER makes the case against Real Networks. THE SMOKING GUN has a comprehensive roundup of the disturbing allegations against Michael Jackson. WIRED has a lengthy feature on Bram Cohen, the creator of BitTorrent, which now may account for more than one-third of all data sent across the Internet. SID VICIOUS was also the nickname for ex-Clinton aide and journo Sydney Blumenthal, who was just dumped by Salon. RACE TO THE BOTTOM: The perfume promoted by Paris Hilton is outsold by the one promoted by Britney Spears. Neither one is named "Skanktastic," but one should be. WESTWORD wants videogame criticism worthy of Lester Bangs, Pauline Kael and Robert Christgau.
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