THE NEW YORK DOLLS: A cartoon David Johansen (is that redundant?) romances a creationist in the video for "Dance Like A Monkey" from the Dolls' new LP. As it's twofer Tuesday, I cannot resist a vintage Dolls performance of the similarly simian-themed "Stranded In The Jungle" o­n Don Kirshner's... Rock Concert. And because I can, I'll throw in "Personality Crisis" and a twofer of "Looking For A Kiss" and "Jet Boy" for good measure.

NEW RELEASES: Tom Petty, Tapes 'N Tapes, New York Dolls, Midlake, The Long Winters, and The Knife are among the albums streaming in full from AOL this week. Silversun Pickups (frontman Brian Aubert was recently interviewed at Seattlest) release Carnavas. Paul Weller has a US release of his all-electric solo live album. The Sleepy Jackson, recently the subject of a glowing round-up at Chromewaves, unleashes the lush Personality. The Pipettes release their album in the UK (and do some PR in London's Sun), but no word o­n a US date yet, so you'll have to consult the Hype Machine for streaming goodness.

THE 32 WORST LYRICS OF ALL TIME are counted down by The (Boston) Phoenix for your inevitable disagreement.

THE 111 WUSSIEST SONGS OF ALL TIME, according to AOL, are conveniently posted at Stereogum for your inevitable disagreement.

INSIDE THE ROCKERS STUDIO: Speaking of Stereogum, Scott grills the female half of Mates of State. He also has MP3 and video links, but there's plenty more at the Hype Machine.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: You'll not see nothing like "The Mighty Quinn." Manfred Mann's version of the Dylan tune is my cup of meat.

MUSIC BLOGS: Author-blogger Simon Reynolds thinks they are not living up to their potential, though I think his reasons raise questions about the standard he sets. Good Hodgkins takes a different approach to the queston of whether music blogs are important that may be a better approach, though the distinction between "thinkers" and "linkers" has a longer history than GH's Ryan suspects.

INDIE BLOCKEDAPPELLA, as you might guess, offers a cappella versions of indie songs, but there's also an amusing cover of Bon Jovi's "Livin' o­n A Prayer."

THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME is looking for relative youth o­n its nominating committee, according to chairman Jon Landau (a/k/a Springsteen's manager).

ROXY MUSIC may have something left in the tank, according to London's Independent.

MISS UNIVERSE topples over mere seconds into her reign, which raises that ol' philosophical question about the beauty queen falling over in the forest and no o­ne seeing it.

COLIN FARRELL has obtained a restraining order against the woman who accosted him during a Tonight Show taping, while she held a presser to tell her version of the story.

MADONNA left a beach wrapped up like Mother Theresa after discovering her beachwear was translucent when wet.

TARA REID: Speaking of beachwear malfunctions, it seems that the Tinseltown party girl still has problems keeping the implants under cover.

GILLIAN ANDERSON: The former Agent Scully is pregnant just three months after splitting from her husband. London's Daily Mail has identified a likely father, but I'm sure the Weekly World News will be all over the alien baby angle.

BRADGELINA: City Rag offers photos to suggest that "sometime in the last 10 years, Angelina Jolie has had plastic surgery, including a nose job and cheek implants."

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY, People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive was snapped doing yoga o­n the beach, and later was snapped snapping at a photog before another yoga session. Just a little something for the ladies who suffer through all of the Jessica Alba items here.

TINA FEY is leaving as a writer-performer o­n Saturday Night Live to be a writer-performer o­n 30 Rock, which is about writing a television show. But the fictional show is not like SNL, as Aaron Sorkin is doing the show about writing a fictionalized version of SNL.

AARON SORKIN: Speaking of whom, the creator of Studio 60 o­n the Sunset Strip stuck his foot in it during PR for the show, saying of reality TV: "When things that are very mean-spirited and voyeuristic go o­n TV, I think it's (like) bad crack in the schoolyard." This caused the journos to bust a gut, given Sorkin's past track record with cocaine, but I would ask whether there's such a thing as "good" crack in the schoolyard.

MELANIE MARTINEZ was fired as the hostess of a show o­n the PBS Kids Sprout network for appearing in "inappropriate" videos. The videos appeared o­n TechnicalVirgin.com, which crashed due to the sudden interest. But you can see one of the videos o­n YouTube. Technically SFW, but probably "inappropriate."

DID JODIE FOSTER DATE KIM BASINGER? Could there be any more authoritative source than a purported fax offering hearsay from cult director John Waters?

JESSICA ALBA: Some French site has posted 180 high-quality photos of the Alba from the set of Awake. No swimwear involved, but the lady wears clothes well.

IRAQ: Fresh US troops are to be brought into Baghdad as a six-week-old security clampdown in the capital has failed to quell a surge in sectarian violence. The leader of Iraq's most powerful political party said Monday that Iraqi neighborhoods should form their own defense committees; others fear that such committees would amount to nothing more than de facto militias in a country where militia attacks have caused much of the bloodshed.

MIDEAST CONFLICT: While Iran denies any involvement in the current fighting, Israeli, Egyptian and Lebanese sources say the bodies of Iranian Revolutionary Guard soldiers killed in Lebanon have been transported to Syria and flown to Tehran. The UN's humanitarian chief accused Hezbollah of "cowardly blending" in among Lebanese civilians and causing the deaths of hundreds. Mideast diplomats were pressing Syria to stop backing Hezbollah. Coincidentally, Syria is reportedly prepared to tell the US the whereabouts of al-Qaeda cells in Lebanon.

MIDEAST CONFLICT and THE MEDIA: Looking at this transcript and this blog post, it appears that Hezbollah is controlling the coverage of CNN and others in Beirut. The actual stories by Nic Robertson and others almost never mention this. CNN did the same thing with Saddam, so this doesn't shock me. Similarly, when Washington Post reporter Robin Wright gushes over Hezbollah terrormaster Hasan Nasrallah and describes the current conflict as "the most dramatic cross-border acts of war by Israel since its invasion of Lebanon in 1982" (without mentioning that Hezbollah fired rockets o­n Israel and kidnapped Israeli soldiers), I am quickly reminded that Wright has gotten favorable treatment from Iran for going easy o­n the mullahs, so it's just a courtesy she's extending to Iran's client.

JENNY THE COW went to her owner in a variation o­n the classic method of resolving animal custody disputes.

A BLUE MARLIN speared a fisherman in the chest and knocked him into the Atlantic Ocean, but he'll live.

IS IT A MOLT OR A HOOSE? A rare mating of a wild moose and a mare likely resulted in the birth of a funny-looking colt with a big head and long legs.

ANOTHER TWO-FACED CAT is revealed in Millbury, Mass. Surprisingly, it has lived to age six so far. Pic at the link.

SUCKING SEA-SPIDERS living at the bottom of the ocean defy scientific classification. RELATED: There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

TEEN FENDS OFF GATOR dragging him to the lake with a tip from the Discovery Channel.