THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE BEAT FARMERS!  This more sober than usual, professionally-shot, early BF gig was recorded at Universal Studios, including "There She Goes Again" (VU); "Road to Ruin," "Bigger Fool," "Reason to Believe" (Springsteen), "Powderfinger" (N. Young), "Happy Boy," "Big Ugly Wheels," "Bigger Stones," "Gun Sale at the Church," "Dallas Blues," "I Wanna Be Free," "Lakeside Trailer Park," "Death Train," and "Seven Year Itch."  If you're new to the band, my picks would be "Bigger Stones," "Happy Boy" and the cover of your choice.  SUPER-SPECIAL BONUS:  Now how much would you pay?  But wait... there's more!  If you really want to see someone put the "bar" in "bar band," watch these NSFW clips from Houston, TX of the late Country Dick Montana leading the band through "Lucille" (K. Rogers) -- complete with his favorite beer bottle stunts -- followed by "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino," "Are You Drinkin' With Me, Jesus?" and "Mondo."

ART BRUT gave Spinner five unmastered tracks from the band's sophomore LP, It's a Bit Complicated.

FOUNTAINS of WAYNE:  Adam Schlessinger talks to UGO about writing and recording the new album, Traffic & Weather, for which the early reviews have been... uh, mixed.  (Thanks, Chromewaves -- even when painful.)

RICHARD BARONE:  The ex-Bongo's Cool Blue Halo is this week's "Shadow Classic" at NPR, including streams of his version of "Numbers With Wings" and Bowie's "The Man Who Sold The World."

OF MONTREAL:  Kevin Barnes talks to the Gainsville Sun about getting bigger and more theatrical.  Bryan Poole calls into the Miami New Times from Detroit to say that crowds are digging their cowbell.

FORGIVE ME, IT'S FRIDAY:  It was (and is) a little bit frightening.

MIKE WATT:  Exclaim! has a timeline of the life and career of the Minutemen bassist and indie icon.

JOE BOYD compares producing tours and records to being "the guy with the broom in curling." 

GEDDY LEE of Rush talks fantasy baseball with ESPN, which should have me covered with both Craig O'Neill and Sylvia Hauser.

BONO has been named an honorary knight of the British Empire -- but don't call him "Sir," as he's not a Brit.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds on the ol' HM include: Art Brut -  Formed A Band; The Jesus & Mary Chain - April Skies; Teenage Fanclub - Take The Skinheads Bowling (live CVB cover); Kaiser Chiefs - Saturday Night (not the BCR); Hoodoo Gurus - Leilani, Pt. II; U2 -Out of Contol; That Petrol Emotion - Can't Stop; Seu Jorge - Rebel Rebel; Indigo Girls - Midnight Train to Georgia (live); Mama Cass Elliot - I Think It's Going to Rain Today; Eleni Mandell - You're All Bad (And That's Why You've Been Invited); The Grass Roots - Midnight Confession; Black Lips - Buried Alive; Super Furry Animals - Rings Around the World; Fountains of Wayne -  New Routine; Flaming Lips - She Don't Use Jelly; Beastie Boys - Sabotage; and The B-52s - Rock Lobster.

HALLE BERRY admits that she tried to gas herself when her fiery union to Atlanta Braves baseball star David Justice collapsed, but pulled out at the last minute.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are: the futuristic Disney 3-D animation Meet The Robinsons, currently scoring 69 percent on the Tomatometer; the Will Ferrell ice capade Blades of Glory, which is scoring 64 percent (75 percent among the "cream of the crop" critics); and (semi-wide) the heist pic The Lookout, which is scoring 83 percent.

BRITNEY SPEARS & FED-EX settle all family business, without Moe Green taking one in the eye..

BORAT:  Sacha Baron Cohen and his Australian fiancée Isla Fisher are reportedly set to become first-time parents after blurting out the exciting news at a Los Angeles bar.  Actually, I'm pretty sure that if they are going to be parents, it was after something else, but people found out about it at the bar.

JACKO has been hospitalized in Las Vegas with pneumonia, sources tell FOXNews.com's 411 column.  I link, you decide.

CHRIS ROCK may be taking a DNA test, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.  If so, maybe we'll start hearing those rumors of marital woes again.

JESSICA BIEL:  I don't know whether I Now Pronounce You Chck & Larry will be funny, but it does have Jessica Biel in various states of undress, which is something.  Egotastic has Hi-Def screen caps and video.

TV'S BIGGEST MONEYMAKERS, according to Forbes magazine.  The list has some surprises.  For example, the season's smash hit, Heroes, is still a fairly cheap ad buy.

COURTNEY LOVE:  US Weekly has a flattering bikini pic,  but other angles show shows off her terrible lipsuction.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD and lawyer-companion Howard K. Smith is still trying to drag out the DNA testing of the late model's infant daughter.

MARY-KATE & ASHLEY OLSEN, recognizing how much of their empire rests on their twindom, are reportedly getting matching nose jobs.  And possibly not for the first time.  Pics at the link.

IRAQ:  Al Qaeda stoked sectarian violence in Tal Afar that included off-duty Iraqi police; IraqSlogger noted that the media portrayal of it as "revenge" killing is inaccurate.  The WaPo covers the splintering of Moqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army, while IraqSlogger notes the splintering of the Sunni 1920 Revolution Brigades and other splits emerging within groups affiliated with Al Qaeda.  Defense Tech relays a report that Al Qaeda itself recognizes its influence is currently waning in Iraq.  In Baghdad, Al Qaeda pulled off a major suicide attack at a largely Shiite market, the first in about a week.  Terrorists have been shifting to attacks outside the capital.  Just outside Baghdad, the Iraqi Army has entered the militant stronghold of Duwanim, which has been a  theater of open conflict and deadly raids between the Mahdi Army and armed Sunni groups.  In Diyala province, more than 40 people died and 80 were injured in three co-ordinated blasts in the town of Khalis.  US and Iraqi forces have been conducting a major clearing operation in Diyala against al Qaeda in Iraq and its political front, Islamic State of Iraq.  Friday seemed like the day to note that Gen. David Patraeus began forging his leadership skills in Little League.  And that Corporal Kermit has deployed with Company H, 121st Infantry, Georgia Army National Guard.  There's a photo gallery at the last link, or you can go straight to the video.

IRAN:  The BBC sums up the outrage in the British press about the Iranian kidnapping of 15 British sailors and marines.  Tehran reneged on a promise to release hostage Faye Tunney, and in a cynical new propaganda stunt, published a handwritten note perprotedly from Tunney calling for British troops to be withdrawn from Iraq. Austin Bay writes that the Iranian ploy smacks of the regime's desperation over problems foreign and domestic.  The European Union is mulling a general freeze on contact with Iran.  The UN Security Council finally expressed "grave concern" over the matter, though the statement wasn't as tough as Britain had hoped.  The UN "Human Rights Council," otoh, voted to end its examination of Iran, despite deteriorating conditions there.

EASTER is coming soon -- have you picked up your life-sized, anaotmically correct chocolate Jesus yet?  Only 485,460 calories!

TRIXIE, a 12-year-old service pony, may get evicted (along with her owner) from an apartment in White Setllement, TX.  No, I'm not making up that town.  Trixie's not just a seeing-eye pony, either -- she takes Tabitha Darling to work at the local Wal-Mart as well.  Video at the link.

RUH-ROH: Looks like Scooby needed a pacemaker. I blame the Scooby-Snacks!  Pics at the link.

ROBOT SQUIRRELS will soon be intercepting your telephone calls, if the MIT Media lab has anything to say about it.

RARE PARROT SMUGGLER nabbed as she arrived in Russia on a flight from China.

COWS stare unamazed as the Wisconsin Guernsey Breeders Association opens the nominations for Cow of the Year. Did last year's Cow of the Year ever get out of rehab?