THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE HOLLIES!  Circa 1969, post Graham Nash, promoting The Hollies Sing Dylan. Selections include "Carrie Anne" (w/strings instead of steel drums), "Just Like A Woman," a medley of "Just One Look," "Bus Stop," "On A Carousel" and "Sorry, Suzanne," "Quit Your Lowdown," "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight," "Help Me Brother," "Stop Stop Stop," a cover of "A Taste of Honey," Peter, Paul & Mary's "Stewball," "The Mighty Quinn," and "Blowin' in the Wind."

JARVIS COCKER expounds on contradictory theories of songwriting at SxSW.

SxSW: At the Morning News, Paul Ford has six-word reviews of 1302 MP3s provided by bands playing the big fest.  With ratings and downloads.

THE DUKE SPIRIT stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

JOHN WESLEY HARDING stopped by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set streaming via NPR.

HANDSOME FURS: Dan Boeckner talks to the Montreal Gazette about the current album and tour, which has taken the duo as far as Russia and Serbia.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND rolled out a new song, "White Sky," for Jimmy Fallon.

JOHN VANDERSLICE talks to DC's Express about the thrill of that glaring spotlight and dueting with Mountain Goat John Darnielle.

IVY LEAGUE BANDS: Crawdaddy pits Vampire Weekend vs. Galaxie 500.

STONE ROSES: Ian Brown and John Squire are both denying earlier reunion reports.

THE CUTOUT BIN: From the Who to ABBA, from the Sex Pistols to Ron Sexsmith, from the Kinks to King Khan & the Shrines, plus the Chesterfield Kings, Joe Jackson, Smokey Robinson, Thin Lizzy and more  -- this Friday's fortuitous finds are streaming from the Pate page at the ol' HM.

NOW SHOWING: This weekend's wide releases include Nic Cage's "Knowing," which is currently scoring 21 percent on the ol' Tomatometer, the Rudd/Segel bro-com "I Love You, Man," currently scoring 78 percent, and the Julia Roberts/Clive Owen thriller "Duplicity," which is at 61 percent.

LeANN RIMES: Eddie Cibrian denies having an affair with the married singer, but Us magazine has them... wait for it... caught canoodling on video.

BRUCE WILLIS: Getting married soon?

LINDSAY LOHAN is getting an intervention from the Baldwin brothers.

BRITNEY SPEARS turns down a three-million-dollar autobiography deal... because she wants more money.

DARK TIMES: South Park took on The Dark, Knight, Watchmen, The Spirit, etc. this week.

VH-1'S "BEHIND THE MUSIC" is making a comeback, making it the perfect subject for an episode of the series.

AFGHANISTAN: Last month's assault on government buildings in Kabul was planned in and directed from Pakistan, according to Afghan intell.

IRAN is increasing its presence in Latin America, and Hezbollah, a terrorist organization it sponsors, is making inroads in drug trafficking in Colombia, the commander of US Southern Command told Congress.

IRAQ: Cross-sectartian alliances emerge in the wake of the provincial elections. The US military will shut down the Camp Bucca prison by the summer of 2009. US combat deaths hit a six-year low.

EXTREME SHEEP LED ART: Let's go to the video, courtesy of Samsung.

ANACONDA HUNT: A photo gallery.

PET HOARDING: Lady puts cats in the freezer. Again.

MINI-COWS milk cuteness for all it's worth at the Memphis Zoo.

THE ROCK CATS are known more for their looks than their rock 'n' roll talent.

CAT & DOG, snuggling together... mass hysteria.

PERRY FARRELL is singing about a "Nasty Little Perv" for a network TV show.  Who knew?

THE DECEMBERISTS: Colin Meloy stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set streaming on demand via MPR. And this morning's live debut of the album should be streaming on demand at NPR.

SxSW: The big party in Austin gets a micro-site at NPR. And WOXY is whipping up a mess of live Lounge Acts.

PETE DOHERTY is still alive and streaming his new album.

ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN are releasing a live, orchestral version of Ocean Rain.

THUNDERCLAP NEWMAN: Because there's "Something In The Air." And you know that it's right.

THE BREEDERS are self-releasing an EP on April 21.

YO LA TENGO: Ira Kaplan talks to the Hartford Advocate about a side project whose name is not fit for family consumption.

ELVIS PERKINS talks to Filter about Dearland, touring, and the future.

CHARLOTTE HATHERLEY is moonlighting with Bat For Lashes. (Thx, Chromewaves.)

NATASHA RICHARDSON has died following a freak ski accident on a beginners' hill in Montreal. In addition to Liam, Neeson --her husband of 15 years -- and two sons, she is survived by her mother, Vanessa Redgrave, actress sister Joely Richardson, and actress aunt Lynn Redgrave.

LeANN RIMES is having a shocking affair with her TV movie costar. She's calling it a "difficult time."

KANYE WEST was charged with three criminal misdemeanors - vandalism, battery, and grand theft - in connection with the camera-smashing incident at LAX.

BRITNEY SPEARS: A judge has ordered Adnan Ghalib to stay completely clear of the pop wreck for three years.

RHIANNA & CHRIS BROWN are "taking a break," presumably one not involving bones.

PAUL RUDD & JASON SEGEL hit the wall while promoting I Love You, Man. Flatulence ensues. 

TERMINATOR: SALVATION will reportedly feature a voice-over from Linda Hamilton.

THOR: Nikke Finke has the latest casting rumors, including Natalie Portman.

TRUE GRIT getting the Coen Bros. treatment?  I think they already have a couple of movies on the drawing board.

PAKISTAN: Pres. Obama and his national security advisers are considering expanding the covert war in Pakistan far beyond the unruly tribal areas to strike at a different center of Taliban power in Baluchistan, where top Taliban leaders are orchestrating attacks into southern Afghanistan. Pakistan dismissed the report, as they would.  Meanwhile, Sharia courts have opened in Swat; civil courts have ceased activity.

IRAQ's economy is threatened by cheap Iranian goods.

TINY PIGLETS: Let's go to the video.

A HORSE-RIDING MONKEY is still on the run in Lake County, FL.

DOG RESCUED from a partially frozen lake by a former Real World cast member. Both are naked.

DOGS, CATS & ALLIGATORS are being abandoned to fend for themselves as the latest cruel collateral damage of a crippling economy tearing apart family budgets.

THE DOG ate my savings.

BAT hitches a ride on Space Shuttle launch. Godspeed, small bat.

CURSIVE made their network TV debut playing "From The Hips" at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART talk to Decider Austin at SxSW. Singer-guitarist Kip Berman on the importance of lyrics: "It doesn't have to be hyper-literary, like, 'I'm Colin Meloy, and I imagine myself as a 17th-century space-faring pirate.' It's more about trying to say something genuine and emotionally direct..."

THE DECEMBERISTS, btw, will be streaming the live premiere of The Hazards of Love, a sprawling 17-part narrative song-cycle.  That's tonight, but I'll probably remind you when it goes on demand, too.

FAKE PROBLEMS do the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, including a raw cover of CCR's "Travelin' Band."

SxSW: NPR is offering a 100 song stream from bands playing the big fest. Playlist at the link.

PUBLIC ENEMY decided to "Bring The Noise" to Jimmy Fallon, with an assist from The Roots.

BEN FOLDS has created a new album, Ben Folds Presents: University A Cappella, a collection a cappella groups covering his songs. MP3 and Tube clip at the link.

GRIZZLY BEAR: Filter has first impressions of the band's highly-anticipated Veckatimest album.

THE STONE ROSES are readying a 21 gig UK reunion tour this summer to accompany the boxed set reissue of their debut LP.

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS PINK? A collection of 12 drawings by Syd Barrett created in 1965 are being auctioned for charity this month.

WEST SIDE STORY is revisited by Vanity Fair, with Jennifer Lopez, Robert Rattinson and more...

NATASHA RICHARDSON, actress and Liam Neeson's wife, was critically injured in a ski accident in Quebec.

JOHN MAYER is Twittering about his latest breakup with Jennifer Aniston, who claims she dumped him.

MADONNA is threatening to adopt another kid from Malawi. Meanwhile, her ex, Guy Rtichie, was spotted with Elle Macpherson.

CHRISTINA RICCI is engaged to her co-star in All's Faire in Love, Owen Benjamin.

BELINDA CARLISLE of the Go-Gos got booted from Dancing With the Stars. She don't got the beat.

JULIA ROBERTS nastily snubbed Fox's Roger Friedman, wrongly believing that he'd written bad things about her.  Oops.

BOLLYWOOD SUPERMAN: Truth, Justice and the Indian way. With subtitles.

SEAN CONNERY has profiteering claims against him dismissed by a Swiss court.

ISLAMISM in the UK: In London's Muslim neighborhoods, an Afghan reporter finds a few too many uncomfortable reminders of home.

PAKISTAN: Pres. Zardari has endorsed the reinstatement of Justice Iftikhar Mohammad Chaudhry as Chief Justice. US Rep. Jane Harman says A.Q. Khan's black nuclear market has not been closed down yet completely.

IRAQ still has many problems -- apart from lingering outbreaks of violence, there are still shortages of electricity and water, and corruption is rampant. But after six years of war, the nation is finally starting to move toward a life that feels normal.

SLUGS GET IT ON: Let's go to the video.

FORTY-ONE BULL SNAKES in a CRAWLSPACE: "Snakes.... why did it have to be snakes?"

FROGS MARRY to please Indian rain gods.

MATING NEPHILIDEA SPIDERS: More exciting than you imagine? I dunno... I can imagine quite a bit.

ST. PATRICK'S DAY STARTS HERE:

...with JOE STRUMMER and THE POGUES putting a Celtic spin on "London Calling" and "I Fought The Law" for St. Patrick's Day, 1988. Follow that up with the Dropkick Murphys' videos for "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" (which you may have heard in Martin Scorsese's The Departed) and "The Wild Rover."  That's a Twofer Tuesday times two. Round it out with an Old Grey Whistle Test of my Fave Pogues songs, "Sally MacLennane" and a Shamrock Shake.

THE POGUES' "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" MP3 album is on sale at Amazon for 3.99.

NEW RELEASES: Metric, Superdrag and Willie Nelson are among those streaming this week via Spinner. The new Bonnie "Prince" Billy album is out today, too.

SxSW: Did you know there is about 6GB of free, legal MP3s of bands at the fest posted as torrents? Or you can stream songs from the official site.

HACIENDA does the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, including a nifty unreleased tune.

BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE Presents Brendan Canning, with "Love Is New."

DEATH, a Detroit power trio, was Punk before Punk was Punk. MP3 at the link, too.

REGINA SPEKTOR talks to Pitchfork about her next album, which has four producers, including Jeff Lynne.

1000 SONGS EVERYONE MUST HEAR: An ongoing series at The Guardian.

AKRON/FAMILY: Dana Janssen talks to Decider Denver about carrying on after Ryan Vanderhoof's departure from the band. (Thx, LHB.)

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, and the psychologist accused of conspiring to fuel her with illegal prescription drugs, is officially behind bars.

LINDSAY LOHAN's arrest warrant got recalled.

JENNA JAMESON and her boyfriend of two years, Tito Ortiz, welcomed twin boys Monday morning, who are in for some fun times on the playground.

JESSICA SIMPSON forgot the lyrics to two songs on the last show of her tour.

GWYNETH PALTROW suggests JOAQUIN PHOENIX should visit the projects to gain rap authenticity.

BIJOU PHILLIPS & DANNY MASTERSON, who have starred in several films together, are engaged.

RICKY GERVAIS + ELMO: Let's go to the video.

MICKEY ROURKE, just hangin' out in a Russian prison.

DAVID CHASE, creator of The Sopranos, is developing "A Ribbon of Dreams," a miniseries about the early days of Hollywood, for HBO.

MacGUYVER is in development as a feature film.

ROBERT RODRIGUEZ is hot on Machete and Nerveracker, not so much on Sin City 2.

IRAN: "Moderate" fmr pres Khatami will not challenge Pres. Ahmadinejad in the upcoming presidential election, the state-run Fars news agency said Monday.  Pres. Obama and his aides are preparing to send a secret message to Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, inviting him to open a clandestine "back channel" for direct talks between the United States and Iran. Are secret messages discussed in the L.A. Times really, y'know, secret?

IRAQ: Violence and insecurity are no longer the main concern of most Iraqis, for the first time since the 2003 US-led invasion, an opinion poll suggests. It says Iraqis are much more hopeful about the future and are increasingly pre-occupied with more conventional worries like the economy and jobs.

SEAHORSE GIVES BIRTH: Let's go to the video.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT: Militant squirrels took down a radio station in Britain, and torched a house containing as much as 30K worth of firearms and ammunition in Florida.

THE PYTHON has a terrier-sized bulge.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: A pigeon stuck in a bagel.

ESSY the DUCK thinks she's a dog.

A DAY LATE, but never late than never.  Beware the friendly stranger with candy!

LUCKY SOUL has a nifty new single, "Whoa Billy," you can -- and should -- stream at Frank Yang's place.

BELL X-1 brought its Irish pop-rock to the World Cafe, so you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.

MARIANNE FAITHFULL landed an interview plus tracks on NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday, with covers of Duke Ellington, Morrissey and Randy Newman.

75 ALBUMS EVERY MAN SHOULD OWN, according to Esquire magazine, along with 50 Songs Every Man Should Be Listening To, and more...

THREE GEEKS, SIX KEYBOARDS, 15 Hits of the 80s.

THE PIXIES are back on again, for at least one festival gig...

BOB MOULD and his upcoming memoirs get coverage in Billboard.

THE KLAXONS at least publicly agree with their label that their second album needs a poppier retooling.

THE PET SHOP BOYS talk to former rival Johnny Marr about their inspirations, idols and the perils of too much Pernod.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Race to Witch Mountain debuts at No. 1 with 25 million, which is okay for Disney March release. Watchmen plummets 67 percent in second place with 18 million. Taking in below 20 suggests the movie will struggle to recoup its 150 million production budget in US theaters. The remake of The Last House on the Left takes the third slot with 14.7 million -- that's actually soft for a remake of a horror classic, though its budget is likely low enough to avoid a loss in the end. Taken comes in fourth with 6.7 million, showing pretty remarkable legs.  Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail rounds out the Top Five with 5.1 million, and has now grossed over 83 million. Below the fold, Miss March opened at No. 10, but Slumdog, Paul Blart, He's Just Not That Into You and Coraline all held pretty well.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD: Her boyfriend Howard K. Stern and two doctors have bee charged with giving thousands of prescription drugs to the former Playboy playmate in the years leading up to her 2007 fatal overdose.

LINDSAY LOHAN & SAMANTHA RONSON got a visit from the cops in response to a domestic disturbance. The cops did not execute the outstanding arrest warrant on Li-Lo for failing to enroll in an alcohol ed program for her DUI probation, which her lawyer calls a "misunderstanding."

CHARLIE SHEEN and wife Brooke welcomed twin boys Saturday night.

JACKO sells out 50 dates at London's O2 arena, while we learn that the Neverland Ranch was filled with sculpted boys.

RON SILVER died after a long battle with cancer at 62.

HUGH JACKMAN gets groped by a young man on Japanese TV.

DREW BARRYMORE: Back with Justin Long?

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT is dating her Ghost Whisperer co-star, Jamie Kennedy.

ISLAMISM in the UK: The Observer's Nick Cohen observes that it's little wonder liberal Muslims feel betrayed; their views are seldom heard as ministers prefer to court radical Islamists.

PAKISTAN: As the government claims to seek reconciliation with Nawaz Sharif, 100 lawyers and 20 of Sharif's followers were arrested, and house arrest orders were approved for Sharif and two other political leaders.

AFGHANISTAN: Gen. David Petraeus said Friday that an Iraq-style surge cannot be a solution to the problems in Afghanistan. "We must help our Afghan partners create the breathing space that'll allow the people to stand up for themselves as the Iraqi people did during the awakening movements there," he said.

IRAQ: Pres. Talabani will step down from office after his term expires at the end of the year.

MOUSE PLAYS POSSUM, then intimidates pussycat.

A HUNGRY CALICO CAT was discovered inside a used couch bought for 27 bucks.

MOOSE on a ROOF: The downside of building on a hill.

MAYFLOWER the PONY's legs are so short that passers-by think she is sinking in mud and keep ringing the emergency services.

HEN & PUPPIES, living together... mass hysteria.