THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...WITH A FORAY into the widely recognized phenomenon of Friday catblogging, just because I enjoyed these photos of my co-clerk Debbie's felines, Malcolm and Ella.

FRIDAY TIMEWASTER: Test your knowledge of 80s lyrics.

THE FLAMING LIPS will be spending the autumn playing headline dates o­n a Carnival cruise ship, for the first ever Xingolati Groove Cruise. The Lips are great live, but that's a tough gig. After all, that quintet o­n The Love Boat manages to sound like 20 musicians.

RICHARD THOMPSON, Live from Austin, TX rates a 7.6 o­n the Pitchfork: "On this CD, Thompson could be a guitar salesman demonstrating his product. See how simple it is to sound like three guitars at o­nce. Now you too you can mimic a banjo or a slide guitar in your home or office."

LES PAUL is recording an album with Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Santana and more, then a bluegrass album. The man who dreamed up multi-track recording and the father of sorts to Jon Pratt's guitar has even more to say in a wide-ranging interview with Modern Guitars magazine.

JONATHAN DEMME, who brought Talking Heads and Robyn Hitchcock to the big screen (and even gave a cameo to The Feelies playing Bowie and The Monkees before directing their video for "Away") is going to shoot a Neil Young concert at the Grand Ole Opry.

HOMES OF THE STARS: Jimi Hendrix's house is in danger of demolition. Johnny and June Carter Cash's home is on the block.

YOUR MOMENT OF SITH: James Lileks delivers a definitive review of Episode III. Meryl Yourish interviews Darth Vader, who claims "Lucas got almost nothing right, not even my name," which we discover is Leonard.

THE CASTING COUCH: Movie producer Chris Hanley says it's alive and well in Hollywood: "Almost every leading actress in all of my 24 films has slept with a director or a producer or a leading actor to get the part that launched her career."

STEVE McQUEEN went AWOL from Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, but also rescued five Marines in a training accident, and took advantage of military educational benefits to study at the Actors' Studio. That's just o­ne of many stories in U.S. military documents released o­n Thursday.

NERDS MAKE BETTER LOVERS. I hear this all the time, but I guess some folks didn't know.

THE LODI TERROR PROBE expands; we all know how uncomfortable that can be.

THE STORY OF THE SEX PISTOLS, in comic book form.

JONATHAN RICHMAN doesn't do an interview with The Huntsville Times.

WITH A REBEL YELL, Billy Idol gives a Lamborghini Gallardo a makeshift sunroof with some sort of power tool.

SIMON "SI" WARONKER, founder of Liberty Records, o­ne of the top indie labels of the 1950s and early '60s, died in his sleep Tuesday in Los Angeles at age 90. During the rock 'n' roll era, Liberty was the home of singer-guitarist-producer Eddie Cochran, teen idol Bobby Vee, rocker-turned-pop vocalist Johnny Burnette and surf duo Jan & Dean.

LIVE 8: Ordinary Africans are questioning whether Western extravaganzas like the Live 8 concerts, however well intentioned, can help. Sir Bob Geldof is playing the expectations game: "It will be, not for me but for everyone involved, a glorious failure."

COLDPLAY: Critics clash over the band in the Telegraph. Art experts decode the cover of the new album, which will almost certainly be added to this gallery of coded covers.

DAVE GROHL AND PETE DOHERTY: The Foo Fighters frontman tells the troubled ex-Libertines singer to just say no, man.

CRAIG O'NEILL is the man. Not The Man, mind you; after all, The Man can't bust our music. No, Craig is the exact opposite of The Man. He's the man as anti-Man.

NANO-BOTS: The new science of claytronics will use nanotechnology to create tiny robots that can turn into any shape. Intel's robotics expert, Jason Campbell, says: "The more you look at it, the more likely it seems we will be able to manufacture these things. I think there's a good chance we'll get to see it. Now whether that's five or 20 years, I don't know." Expect a round of hype about "grey goo."

THE UNITED NATIONS cannot find its blueprints that give comprehensive details of how to build and test equipment essential for making nuclear bombs.

BAD INTELLIGENCE: U.S. spy agencies failed to recognize several key military developments in China in the past decade. Critics of the study say the report looks like a bid to exonerate analysts within the close-knit fraternity of government China specialists, who for the past 10 years dismissed or played down intelligence showing that Beijing was engaged in a major military buildup.

IRAN has plans to install tens of thousands of advanced centrifuges at its huge underground nuclear plant near Natanz, which eventually would enable the nation to enrich uranium nearly twice as fast as anticipated, Western intelligence officials say.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Cruise used The Tonight Show for damage control, poking fun at his meltdown o­n Oprah, though he faced stiff competition from Russell Crowe, who went o­n David Letterman's Late Show Wednesday to apologize for throwing a tantrum and telephone at a hotel clerk. Cruise's second ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, thinks he ought to stop mixing the private with the public. Don Imus apparently apologized for a sidekick's o­n-air comments that actor Tom Cruise is gay. Katie Holmes admits she has looked into Scientology and thinks it's "wonderful." And if you want to know why everyone is joining in making fun of Cruise the Hollywood Reporter has an excellent explanation, in which Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have supporting roles.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ GERMAN to figure out the subject of this Bild story about the heiress named after a French Hotel.

SPACE: The final frontier. In advertising.

IRAQ: President Jalal Talabani averted a crisis Thursday by promising Sunni Arabs a big say in drafting the constitution.

BOLIVIA: The nation's high court chief took office as president late Thursday during an emergency congressional session, setting the stage for early elections aimed at curbing violent protests.

GLOBAL WARMING: The White House is defending Philip Cooney, a lawyer and former lobbyist with the American Petroleum Institute and now chief of staff for the White House Council o­n Environmental Quality, who changed descriptions of climate research approved by government scientists. Rep. Henry Waxman and Sen. John Kerry have asked the General Accountability Office to probe the matter. If they do, I hope the investigation includes the long history of policymakers changing or pressuring scientists to alter the wording of the summary of reports of the Intergovernmental Panel o­n Climate Change (IPCC), up through 2001, where the National Academy of Sciences later found that the "change in emphasis appears to be the result of a summary process in which scientists worked with policymakers o­n the document." Maybe scientists like Chris Landsea can testify about the politicization of the IPCC. But somehow I don't think Waxman or Kerry would care to hear what they have to say.

IT'S SUMMER, AND THAT CAN ONLY MEAN THAT IT'S CARNIVAL SEASON: You really don't want the carnival owner's son to be the sole technical investigator in two unexplained fatalities o­n the same piece of equipment. You can track lovely stories like this through the ptly-named Ride Accidents site. o­n a lighter note, you can download Ice Cream Truck Music and check out hamburger-blogging, hotdog-blogging and pizza-blogging through WFMU's blog.

A GREAT WHITE SHARK attacked a teen surfer off New Jersey's Surf City o­n Sunday. The kid needed a bigger board.

A KILLER COW was arrested and detained by Nigerian police o­n Thursday.

PHOTOSHOPPING M.C. ESCHER... at Worth 1000.

ROBOTS were hitting fastballs, drawing portraits and more at the 2005 Robot World Expo in Japan.

BILL CLINTON may have gotten some prank phone calls after a Delray Beach busboy found Jimmy Buffett's cellphone and kept it for a week. Of course, the busboy didn't make those calls, but his friends may have.

UNDER A BLOOD RED SKY, twenty years later. A look back at a historic gig.

THE WHITE STRIPES' new album gets a 7.3 o­n the Pitchfork.

INXS is searching for a new singer o­n a reality show to be hosted by Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke. (what, no Carmen Electra?)

INDIE BANDS are getting buzz from word of blog.

LIVE 8: Monday, Bob Geldof took a conference call with former Howard Dean guru Joe Trippi and a number of bloggers. Ed Morrisey liveblogged the call. Scott Koenig adds a few details. Ann Althouse rounds up the others. A number of the more conservative bloggers were impressed with and surprised by Geldof, though readers here would not have been surprised. Today's Telegraph has an article noting that a concert is not going to solve Africa's problems and cataloging the ways in which foreign aid has hurt the continent as much as helped it. But the conference call suggests that Geldof largely agrees and supports tying future aid to political reform. And imagine what the righty bloggers would have thought had they known that Geldof is under fire for inviting the Pope to support Live 8.

BAY CITY ROLLERS have been getting in trouble with the law.

PODCASTING: Listening to 100 podcasts a day may be a bit much.

SITUATION: Ten days after MSNBC announces The Situation With Tucker Carlson, CNN announces the debut of The Situation Room. Just another example of Pate arriving before its time.

THE BREAKFAST CLUB had a reunion of sorts at the 2005 MTV Movie Awards. But Molly Ringwald wants to do a sequel to Sixteen Candles. And at the risk of being mean to Molly, John Bender's comment about being able to see the thin person inside comes to mind. But she's got an 18 month old child, so maybe that's just baby weight.

YOUR MOMENT OF SITH: National Geographic asks, how realistic are the alien worlds in that galaxy far, far away? Shockingly, the answer is, "not very," though there is the interesting note that a galactic Republic is likely to not be very multicultural.

THE S. S. POSEIDON SAILS AGAIN, under the direction of Wolfgang Petersen -- a natural choice from the man who gave you Das Boot. The cast will include Richard Dreyfuss, for whom this should be cake after Jaws. I guess a bigger boat isn't always the answer. Also appearing will be Emmy Rossum who, having just done The Day After Tomorrow and The Phantom of the Opera, is an old hand at disaster movies. When I hear of this movie, I always think of the character in Free Enterprise who claims that Irwin Allen is a better director than Jim Cameron because anyone can tip a boat over two hours into a movie...

MOVIE ADVERTISING MADNESS: Edward Jay Epstein of Slate writes that studios o­nce justified their expensive ad campaigns by reasoning that big opening-weekend numbers may pay off later in video, pay-TV, and foreign release. But this is less true every day. Moreover, big DVD retailers do not base their orders o­nly o­n box-office results, but o­n how they help sell big TVs -- a group quite different from the teenagers to whom the studios market new movies.

RUSSELL CROWE is arrested for throwing a telephone at a hotel employee. Sounds like the Cinderella Man still has some Bud White issues.

BRADGELINA UPDATE: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are making journos who interview them sign a contract to not ask personal questions. Nevertheless, it looks like the pair are negotiating easier terms with major media. Jolie squirmed through personal questions o­n the Today show Monday. Tonight, o­n ABC PrimeTime, when Diane Sawyer asks about Jolie's reputation as a "homewrecker," Pitt says: "It's a good story." Woodward and Berstein would call that a non-denial denial.

LI-LO: The Lohan also shows up to a press junket with a laundry list of questions that shouldn't be asked. She will say, however, that she is "not some crazy, Tara Reid-esque party girl." Me-OW!

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Cruise rambles for 60 Minutes Australia. He seems to go off the rails after being asked, "Why, then, was it a condition of me talking to you today that I had to spend quite an intense four-and-a-half hours in the Church of Scientology here in Los Angeles?" Meanwhile, Holmes now has her own Scientologist entourage... or are they monitors?

IRAQ: Baghdad is where most of the military and media action is, but it's worth remembering that Iraq is much bigger than that. Author Michael Yon reports from Dohuk in the north, where the mostly-Kurd population is quite friendly to the U.S. Author Steven Vincent reports from Basra in the south, where conditions aren't as rosy, but still optimistic. Chester analyzes insurgent infiltration routes in the west that run into the Iraqi heartland down the Euphrates River corridor, arguing that the normally excellent John Burns of The New York Times may be overstating things in comparing this route to the Ho Chi Minh trail. James Dunnigan writes that military bureaucrats are slowing down upgrades for electronic jammers used to interfere with the radio signals that control many roadside bombs.

AFGHANISTAN: Arthur Chrenkoff rounds up news not involving detainee abuse. For example, did you know that 1,000 Afghan clerics stripped fugitive Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar of his claim to religious authority?

JACKO JUSTICE: No verdict as of presstime, but it's not a good sign when o­ne of MJ's lawyers claims it's all about the oil. Not in Iraq, mind you, but at the Neverland Ranch.

BLAIR VS. CHIRAC: It's a Anglo-Franco smackdown after Britain suspended the referendum o­n the EU constitution.

LOUISIANA AND TEXAS are sinking into the Gulf of Mexico. But probably not fast enough for Democrats to write them off politically.

DEMOCRACY IN ETHIOPIA: Protesters are being beaten and arrested.

DEMOCRACY IN DISNEYLAND: Roy Disney's lawsuit to void the 2005 election of Disney's Board of Directors moves forward.

WASHINGTON STATE ELECTION UPDATE: As expected, while the trial judge found 1,678 illegal votes cast, the GOP loses its suit seeking a new election for Governor. GOP candidate Dino Rossi will not appeal the decision.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES led the nominations for the 21st annual Television Critics Association Awards.

BRITNEY SPEARS attended a Federline family gathering. It takes the picture to do it justice.

STEM CELLS: Two recent stories hold forth the promise of basically creating embryo-free embryonic stem cells. Such cells may shut down o­ne large part of the current debate, but would probably not avoid all the moral and ethical concerns in play.

HOW MALE OR FEMALE IS YOUR BRAIN? Take the tests.

ASK METAFILTER: Are you attracted to people of races different from your own?

CHOCOLATE SAUSAGE wins a top German chef first prize at the annual Sausage Championships in Berlin. Though it's supposedly the world's first such treat, the punchlines write themselves.

NORAH O'DONNELL, White House correspondent for MSNBC, is quite attractive. I would not call her a ho, which would come as news to her husband, Jim Carney of Time magazine.

CULT OF THE iPod: Last Wednesday in L.A., someone fraudulently took delivery of 12,000 iPods, valued at over 2.6 million bucks.

THE PLAYBOY MANSION: Not looking or smelling too sexy these days.

EIGHTY YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER busted as the alleged madam of a New Jersey prostitution ring.

DEEP THROAT: Mystery Pollster Mark Blumenthal argues that Felt could be the o­nly informer, but that he may have had his own informer, perhaps Nixon secretary Rose Mary Woods.

QURAN DESECRATION: The Quran is being thrown into bonfires in Iran.

GITMO GUARDS get attacked by hardcore detainees. But I suspect groups like the ACLU will be more interested in the fact that all "cell-extraction procedures" at Gitmo are videotaped. I smell a Freedom of Information Act request...

ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS face trial under an anti-terrorism law in New Jersey. The list of potential defense witnesses includes actress Kim Basinger.

PIG-BALL: The first ever pig-ball championships were held in Moscow o­n Sunday.

GIANT TOADS were married in a traditional Hindu ceremony in eastern India over the weekend by villagers hoping to propitiate the rain gods and end a dry spell.

FORTY DEAD ANIMALS FOUND IN U.K. STABLE, including at least 19 horses, 11 chickens, three dogs and a rabbit.

IS THAT A FISH UNDER YOUR SKIRT, OR.. oh, it is a fish.

BATS: The majority of rural Iowa homes -- and a large share of those in urban areas -- have bats inside chimneys, attics or crawl spaces without the homeowners ever knowing, according to o­ne Iowa Department of Natural Resources expert. "When people call us and say they've got a bat or a few bats, I explain, 'You've got more than that,' " Kay Bat Control owner Dwayne Kay said, estimating that the typical home they work o­n has 100 to 150 bats; some have colonies closer to 1,000.

Not too many typos today, were there? Things ran quite late early this morning...