THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...WITH THE CORPSE BRIDE? Why not? It seems to be getting good reviews, even better than those for Thumbsucker, which boasts a soundtrack from the Polyphonic Spree and the late Elliott Smith. Although not o­n the Corpse Bride soundtrack, o­ne song that seems like a perfect fit was written by...

ROBYN HITCHCOCK, who talks about his musical roots and songwriting style in the Japan Times promoting Obliteration Pie, a live acoustic compilation that is allegedly a Japan-only release, but which can be had from Amazon or -- at a greatly reduced price -- direct from Hitchcock. I will eventually want to have a copy of the previously unreleased  "A Man's Gotta Know His Limitations, Briggs" and his cover of "Funkytown."

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: A drum set made of cheese. What would Robyn Hitchcock say?

FRIDAY TIMEWASTER: Why not try a couple of arcade games from out site admin Lance's own site?

ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN: Sitting around complaining about no more Echo albums? Stereogum hooks you up with the free MP3 from the band's upcoming album.

DAVE DAVIES is using music to recover from his stroke last year. Best of wishes to him.

JEFF TWEEDY is touring solo in November, but Mpls. appears to be the o­nly major Pate city he's visiting.

COLDPLAY front man Chris Martin wants to broaden his musical boundaries (and promote peace and harmony, no doubt) by collaborating with Garth Brooks, Kanye West and Timbaland. I'm all for bringing people together in avoidance of hearing it.

THE POSIES reunion and rejoining with Big Star is blurbed at Flagpole.

SMOOSH: The pre-teen indie duo's performance in the office of Spin magazine is reviewed, with six songs posted in Quicktime. Other links to audio and video as well.

TOP 40 ALBUMS 2000-04: as compiled by Marathonpacks. I could do without the rap, but not bad overall.

DR. JOHN has organized Japanese musicians for hurricane relief shows.

MORRISSEY is making his rockingest album ever.

METALLICA is playing Springfield. D-oh!

AL KOOPER, legendary producer and musician, credits insomnia for his prodigious output.

WHO'S LEFT: Sorta Who drummer Kenney Jones is opening an international chain of polo resorts. That actually may be stranger than Roger Daltrey owning a trout farm.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The troubled singer may be getting clean, as he's complaining about gaining weight. London's oh-so-reliable Sun runs a story claiming Moss smokes crack. Moss' lawyer statement: "The allegations that you put to me are specifically denied by my client." But Rimmel cosmetics is now reviewing it's contract with the waifish model. Plus, authorities are probing Moss' fitness to be a parent. And Scientologists want to help Moss kick her habit.

DENISE RICHARDS and CHARLIE SHEEN: Richards is wearing a ring again. Groveling o­n Letterman is paying off for Sheen.

JESSICA SIMPSON, otoh, seems to forget to wear her wedding ring. And occasionally looks really drunk. At least that would excuse the hanging all over the weird old dude.

TEEN QUEEN STORY: At Tuesday night's Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party, rival gang leaders Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff divided guests into two factions o­n opposite sides of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel pool. Sorta like West Side Story, but with really crappy music.

BRITNEY SPEARS: UK salespeople hate her. Guess it's a good thing she didn't name her son "London." Speaking of which, it looks like OK! magazine will have those first baby photos, reportedly paying two million bucks for them. So these two photos are not o­n the level?

BARRY COWSILL has gone missing in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

N.O. LEVEES: BTW, Katrina may not have hit N.O. as hard as was thought -- the levees themselves may be the problem. Not a comforting thought as the city braces for a possible hit from Hurricane Rita.

THE BIG TEASY: Nevertheless, in a sign that things may be returning to normal in New Orleans, strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter. For strip club manager Brent Ardeneaux, reopening was a public service: "It's a disaster zone. You got a lot of people in from out of town that need entertaining."

JESSICA ALBA, while promoting Into The Blue, a movie opening next Friday that may not have much to recommend it beyond the amount of time Alba will be seen in a bikini, is saying she's a little miffed that papparazzi snap her in her bikini offscreen. I assume she's referring to stuff like this gallery of shots that's even more comprehensive than the last version noted here. But seriously, would she rather have people taking pictures of her buying Lactaid at the supermarket?

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY dumped by an obscure musician. As he's been seen since with the likes of Mariah Carey, Knightley can breathe a sigh of relief that she did not end up with someone who is so obviously deranged.

ALYSSA MILANO has flown to Texas to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Memo to TX-based Pate drummer Jon Hahn: Milano likes the musicians.

TYRA BANKS: It turns out that the episode of her new TV show where she took off her bra was all about mammaries (screen caps at the link). Why else would you have Anna Nicole as a guest?

DAVID SCHWIMMER caught canoodling with actress Sabine Singh. Not that I care, aside from the fact that I'm always amused by the word "canoodling."

FROM RED MENACE TO RED LIGHT DISTRICT? Chinese authorities crack down o­n a hotel manager providing prostitutes next to the Martyrs' Mausoleum. But in Hong Kong, sales of sex toys are encouraged.

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE: I have to give the State of Utah credit for putting Napoleon and Pedro in ads for the Utah State Fair. See 'em in streaming Flash 7 video and hear 'em at the link.

DAVID LYNCH, creator of Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks, will be teaching a Transcendental Meditation seminar in NYC at the end of the month. Otherwise, he's doing the daily weather report in glorious Quicktime. No, really.

BRADGELINA UPDATE: Jolie interviews Anne Hathaway, who appears in A Moment in the World, a documentary organized by Jolie that placed roughly 25 partici­pants in various locations o­n a specific day (Hathaway was in Cambodia), each instructed to videotape their surroundings at the same specific moment in time. But the interview is largely about other topics. Jennifer Aniston is the subject of some nasty Oprah-related gossip floating 'round the Internets.

IRAQ: The Washington Post reports that Iraqi forces are showing progress in the Tal Afar offensive, tthen moves quickly as possible to Sunni complaints that Sunnis aren't represented in the Iraqi Army. However, there appears to be some progress in recruiting Sunnis also. BTW, those complaints conflict somewhat with the WaPo story earlier this week suggesting that the effective forces were led by veterans of Saddam's army. Bill Roggio maps recent combat ops with a Flash presentation showing in pictures what he's been blogging for the last month or so. Chester takes a critical look at a recent Time magazine piece o­n the war.

IRAQ II: Zarqawi's treats against the Shiites has put more pressure o­n Iran to help the Shia in Iraq. Already, Iran's new hardline president -- while condemning the U.S. presence in Iraq -- expressed support for the new Iraqi government's drive toward democracy and stability. If Zarqawi follows through o­n his threats in the run-up to the referendum (which is also during Ramadan), Iran may offer covert help -- if it isn't doing so already.

CULT OF THE iPod: Boing Boing points you to the 1954 version.

FUN WITH PROPAGANDA: Photoshopped Phun at Worth 1000. Sylvia Hauser should just go directly to this entry.

KNIFE CONTROL: I don't know how you can rate Scotland as the most violent county in the developed world with a study that excludes street muggings, sexual violence and murder. But since the UK already has plenty of gun control laws, the authorities are now considering knife control.

THE MOMMY TRACK: As I mentioned a New York Times story about women at elite colleges wanting to be stay-at-home moms here earlier in the week, I should point out that it seems like there are serious problems with the reporting. As it's the NYT I can't say I'm shocked. Even so, the whole work-family issue had some interesting discussion this week, such as that in the comments at Prof. Ann Althouse's blog.

FRIDAY CATBLOGGING: I don't have a cat and (as some of you already know) am not much of a cat person. But I do find o­ne of blogger Amber Taylor's cats, Snape, to be very photogenic. Ms. Taylor's family seems to be in Rita's path, so I wish them the best this weekend. I'll get back to Snape in a moment, but first...

PETS: U.S. Reps. Tom Lantos (D-CA), Christopher Shays (R-CN) and Barney Frank (D-MA), are sponsoring a bill that would require that state and local disaster preparedness plans required for FEMA funding include provisions for household pets and service animals.

DEADLY DOG FLU: A new, highly contagious and sometimes deadly canine flu is spreading in kennels and at dog tracks around the country, according to veterinarians.

FARM ANIMALS, including 30 ducks, 10 sheep, two cows, three goats and several geese are bodypainting for their favorite soocer team in the Irish finals.

BADGERS, MUSHROOMS AND A SNAKE: The aforementioned Snape post gave me a tremendous earworm. Be sure to click (if you can have your speakers or earphones handy) if you don't know what I mean.

...and I'm spent.

THE MAGIC NUMBERS "may not yet reek of rock'n'roll excess but their journey along pop's perfumed highway grows more intoxicating daily." They have sold 100,000 albums in six weeks in the UK and count everyone from Brian Wilson to Jimmy Page as fans. You can give them a listen at their official website.

THE dB's: In the Jersey Journal preview of the band's Hoboken show, Chris Stamey explains how a planned second Holsapple-Stamey album turned into a dB's reunion: "We were going to end up trying to get guys to play just like Gene and Will, so we thought we should just call them."

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH o­n the Billboard Top Independent Albums chart last month without a label. Although the band just signed a U.S. distribution deal for the album with Warner Music Group's Alternative Distribution Alliance, Billboard looks at the band's prior unorthodox distribution deal.

JOHN PEEL DAY: No Rock and Roll Fun casts a critical eye o­n the upcoming double-disc and leadoff concert paying tribute to the late legendary DJ next month.

NEKO CASE: Her album due in February will be titled Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, with contributions from members of Calexico, the Sadies, and Giant Sand, plus keyboardist Garth Hudson from the Band.

THE DECEMBERISTS' Colin Meloy may do a solo tour and EP before plowing back into the studio with the band.

THE STROKES: Stereogum is killing music with links to a leaked track from the band's next disc. Judging from the comments, it's a departure from their standard sound.

BOB DYLAN: Entertainment Weekly read his book then rounded up links and multimedia of ten artists he likes. Some obvious stuff, like Woody Guthrie and Johnny Cash, but also Roy Orbison, Ice-T and more.

THE WRENS were darn impressive at the Intonation festival. *Sixeyes interviews lead singer Charles Bissell and Kathryn Yu, who is making a documentary about the band (which has had label troubles rivaling those of the dB's in their day).

SWEET SOUL MUSIC: Singer-songwriter Joe Henry, who has produced albums for Bettye LaVette and Solomon Burke (winning a Grammy for the latter), launches the Work Song label with I Believe to My Soul, featuring newly recorded performances by Allen Toussaint, Irma Thomas, Mavis Staples, Ann Peebles and Billy Preston. The album will be released in partnership with Rhino Records and Starbuck's, with a portion of proceeds going to hurricane relief.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: Fashion giant Hennes and Mauritz has canceled an advertising campaign using Moss. The company had previously said it would still use Moss after meeting her to discuss the publication of photos in the Daily Mirror which the British tabloid said showed her snorting cocaine (as she now admits).

HALLE BERRY has sworn off men.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA reacts to the birth of the Son of Federline: "Wow, she had a baby! That's crazy!" Aguilera says she has already sent Ma Spears a baby gift and a card (which, if she was honest, would read, "That is crazy").

BRADGELINA UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston tells Oprah she is ready to date again. I'm not sure why Aniston thinks Oprah would be interested in dating her; maybe she's reading too much into Oprah's steadfast refusal to marry Stedman Graham.

LADIES! Failed Reagan assassin John Hinckley, Jr. is looking for a girlfriend!

ASHTON KUTCHER VOICEMAIL HACKED? That's the claim at AshtonHacked.com, but with the numbers of the alleged passcode spelling "punk," this seems more like viral marketing.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: Page Six claims that Teri Hatcher was sore about not getting an Emmy, refusing to pose with winner Felicity Huffman and her co-stars backstage. But Fox's Roger Friedman reports that "Sadly, for a gossip columnist, she was not vicious or backbiting. She was, however, extremely and noticeably thin."

JAMIE LYNN DiSCALA was spotted without her wedding ring last week; now Page Six has two witnesses linking Meadow Soprano to New York club promoter Keith Collins. Indeed, o­ne witness claims to have caught them canoodling in a public bathroom.

CAMPBELL BROWN has vaulted to the top of the list of possible replacements for Katie Couric o­n the Today Show, based o­n her reports o­n Hurricane Katrina. Network suits had long urged her to "girlie up" her image, as her competitors have; the storm allowed her to report in T-shirts and wrinkled shorts. It is, as Dan Rather recently suggested, o­ne of television news' finest moments.

MADONNA and hubby Guy Ritchie were booed at the London premiere of his new movie, Revolver, after the couple walked past most of the crowd without signing autographs. Imagine the reaction after the movie lands o­n cinema-goers' collective head like a sack of wet sand.

JANE FONDA bails o­n introducing British Member of Parliament George Galloway o­n his alleged antiwar speaking tour. "There's nothing anti-American about me. And I'm not against the troops," Galloway said at Northwestern University's Law School. Galloway has glorified the insurgents and compared Fallujah to Guernica, claiming that the people who invaded Iraq are war criminals who murdered more than a million people, but apparently the folks at Northwestern were ignorant of what he says to Middle Eastern audiences. Fonda -- who also cancelled her antiwar bus tour in favor of Cindy Sheehan -- may have decided that she better advances her cause by keeping a low profile.

TOP TEN WORTHLESS CELEBRITIES, listed by the Pittsburgh Tribune.

REBECCA ROMIJN got engaged to actor Jerry O'Connell. I saw this reported o­n E! by O'Connell's ex-fiancee, Giuliana DiPandi, who was wearing a t-shirt which read, "I never was your girlfriend."

CLINTON AND LEWINSKY condoms launch in China, which is an odd choice given the former President's position that he did not have "sex" with that woman.

DON'T ASK, don't put it o­n a coffee cup. Especially at Baylor University.

MANY WOMEN AT ELITE COLLEGES plan to get o­n the mommy track. And some academics are wringing their hands. Apparently, feminism was about giving women choices... as long as they don't choose to be stay-at-home moms. It's a little sad, but not surprising, that blogger Amber Taylor has a better feminist critique than the professors quoted by The New York Times. Maybe these women should work for NBC News, which likes it when women "girlie it up."

RADIO, RADIO: The National Guard needs more high-tech radios and satellite communications gear. A bipartisan group of legislators thinks other first responders do, too.

CRONYISM: Julie Myers, nominated to head the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (part of the Department of Homeland Security) is a lawyer with little immigration or customs experience to head the troubled law enforcement agency that handles those issues. Her uncle is Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers, the departing chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. She married DHS Secretary Chertoff's current chief of staff, John F. Wood, o­n Saturday. She may return from her honeymoon to find the honeymoon is over.

LT. GEN. RUSSEL HONORE, head of the active duty forces responding to Hurricane Katrina, let reporters have it when they persisted in dwelling o­n past mistakes, rather than informing people about New Orleans' evacuation plans for Hurricane Rita: "Let's not get stuck o­n stupid." The whole thing is worth a listen.

IRAQ: The DoD's monthly casualty figures suggest that this month is o­n track to have the lowest average daily casualties since February 2004. Bill Roggio notes that Zarqawi's declaration of war o­n the Shiites was rejected not o­nly by the Shiite and Sunni communities, but also by other insurgent groups. Reports suggest that suggesting that the jihadists are trying to conserve strained personnel resources. Saudi Arabia has begun a campaign to dissuade other young men from joining the Iraqi insurgency. The Arab News runs a story about a Saudi-born jihadi arrested in Iraq and returned to SA, (also mentioned in the prior link) in which he claims that he was duped by Al Qaeda (an account of dubious reliability).

DEAN ESMAY compares the "hate America Left" with the "hate America Right."

THE WAR o­n PORN: A new FBI squad will employ eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults. "I guess this means we've won the war o­n terror," said o­ne exasperated FBI agent, speaking o­n the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

CULT OF THE iPod: Cult leader Steve Jobs calls some labels "greedy" for wanting to raise prices o­n iTunes downloads. OTOH, Apple is cracking down o­n websites with "iPod" in the domain name -- everone wants to protect their investment in intellectual property, don't they?

THE FUTURE OF ROBOTS, including biorobotics, human-robot interaction and robot ethics, as envisioned by Ronald C. Arkin, Regents' Professor in the College of Computing at the Georgia Institute of Technology and the Director of the school's Mobile Robot Laboratory.

GLOBAL FROG PLAN UPDATE: The summit in Washington DC where scientists are trying to produce an action plan to conserve frogs, toads and salamanders is debating the theory that a disease threatening amphibians worldwide may have spread because of the use of frogs in pregnancy tests.

BABY SNAKES: Unlike most egg-laying snakes, female African Pythons spend time with their young after they hatch. The discovery underscores how little we know about the world of snakes and suggests their ways may be far more elaborate than scientists previously thought.

BEN, THE TWO OF US NEED LOOK NO MORE: A mentally-disabled man in the small Iron Range town of Gilbert, Minn., was being eaten alive in his home by more than 200 rats.

THE dB's: If you missed yesterday's feature, remember to keep scrolling past today's entry!

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS' frontman A.C. Newman talks to Pitchfork about the new album -- which made number 44 o­n the Billboard chart -- and tour: "We're way more popular than I ever thought we would be. It's o­nly in the last few years that it would seem even conceivable that a band like us would become really popular."

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: Moss reportedly has told her brother: "I don't need to go into rehab but I'll have to or it won't look good."

COURTNEY LOVE reads Bob Dylan.

SWITCHFOOT tells everyone Sony's copy-protection scheme o­n Sony's own website. The Man can't bust their music!

WHEN MUSICIANS TRY TO BE TOO VERSATILE: Worth 1000 has a Photoshop contest running to depict any musician performing in a genre that is totally foreign to their usual style.

SUFJAN STEVENS' Friday gig in Chicago was reviewed in the Chicago Sun-Times and the Chicago Tribune. I wish I could have seen the band make a human pyramid, but it was not to be.

THE CUTE ONE is not a Madonna fan.

JAY-Z and BEYONCE: Having fun poolside.

PAUL WESTERBERG/REPLACEMENTS TRIBUTE: Men Without Ties have produced a downloadable tribute album that looks to be at least as lo-fi as the early "Mats records.

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE frontman Josh Homme and Distillers lead singer Brody Dalle are expecting their first child.

SHERYL CROW does not listen to Lance Armstrong's musical opinions, but shre credits him with making her realize that she needs to find out if I have something to give besides my work. And there may be a musical opinion in there somewhere.

RENEE ZELLWEGER may have sought an annulment after learning that Kenny Chesney did not want children, according to London's oh-so-reliable Sun.

CHRISTIAN SLATER: E! o­nline reports that a New York judge has dismissed charges that Slater groped a woman's tuchus at an Upper East Side bodega in May following an argument with his girlfriend.

BRADGELINA UPDATE: You like pain? Try wearing a corset.

IRAQ: Saddam's nephew is found guilty of financing terrorists and bomb possession. Hundreds of thousands of Shiites made the pilgimage to Karbala, in defiance of militant threats. A suicide bomber captured before he could blow himself up in a Shiite mosque late last week claimed he was kidnapped, beaten and drugged by insurgents who forced him to take o­n the mission.

IRAQ II: The Washington Post runs an article noting that "After generally rejecting body counts as standards of success in the Iraq war, the U.S. military last week embraced them -- just as it did during the Vietnam War. As the carnage grew in Baghdad, U.S. officials produced charts showing the number of suspects killed or detained in offensives in the west." Bill Roggio wrote last week that this is exactly the storyline Zarqawi's latest terror campaign in Baghdad was designed to promote. Read the whole WaPo story. Compare the lack of skepticism given to statements by terrorists with the treatment of the U.S. military: "From Gen. George Casey, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, down to his underlings, American officials have insisted this summer that, at the least, the insurgency is not growing. Pressed to explain the claim, U.S. military officials said recently that they meant o­nly that they believe the insurgency remains concentrated in no more than four of Iraq's 18 provinces." This is apparently deemed insignificant, as is the body count now offered, as is the progress in Tal Afar, Mosul, Ubaydi and Samarra, which is completely ignored. I agree that a body count is not always the best measurement of progress in a war, but so long as media relies o­n the daily body count of those killed by the enemy as the primary yardstick for the war, the implicit complaint in the WaPo story seems ironic at best.

TYRA BANKS is taking off her bra o­n her TV talk show today to prove they're real and spectacular. The real story is probably o­ne of sagging ratings.

ELIZABETHTOWN: The locals dug the director's cut of Cameron Crowe's upcoming movie. o­ne Kentuckian writes Ain't-It-Cool-News that he wouldn't put it o­n the same pedestal as Almost Famous, "but it is a funny, unique, emotionally strong movie that is definitely worth seeing." And his wife looooooooooved it.

WALLACE AND GROMIT: The feature Curse of the Were-Rabbit is already released down under and there's a good advance review o­n Ain't-It-Cool-News. You can see the trailer for the movie due here o­n October 7th.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE: The final trailer is up at Moviefone.

MORGAN FREEMAN was sporting a thong. At least, that's what the 15-year-old-girl says.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: Cruise and Holmes are slammed by... Jon Bon Jovi. Ouch!

FELICITY HUFFMAN really didn't expect to win an Emmy. So her speech was rambling, but she thanked husband William H. Macy, which puts her ahead of Hilary Swank o­n more than o­ne level.

KORTH KOREA is already trying to undermined a deal reached just a day earlier, which would have required that NK give up its nuclear weapons. No wonder Kim Jong Il is so ronery.

IRAN: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Monday she is certain the issue of Iran's nuclear program will be referred to the U.N. Security Council, though "the timing of any such referral of course, is a matter for diplomacy," which is a large caviat indeed.

TORTURE: The accounts are disturbing: beatings, forced sex and imprisonment with shackles and leg irons. But these are charges made against Islamic schools in Pakistan, not against U.S. troops, so expect little media coverage.

CINDY SHEEHAN is demanding that Sen. Hillary Clinton declare the war in Iraq is a "lie," or face losing her job.

HURRICANE OF BLAME: Jazz at Lincoln Center's "Higher Ground" hurricane relief benefit concert Saturday night gave celebrities to blame the federal government, especially President Bush, for the seemingly slow response to the storm. Meanwhile, NBC News reports that Aaron Broussard, president of Jefferson Parish, gave an incorrect version of events to Meet The Press two Sundays ago. NBC News focused o­n "details that conflict with the timeline of the tragedy," but also should have noted that the awful story Broussard told had nothing to do with FEMA's response, but with the nursing home that refused to evacuate its patients.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: I can't believe I neglected to mention the Cyclones' victory over Fred Flinstone. But since I had my share of fun in Iowa City as well as Ames, I suggest you crank your speakers for this lovely tribute to the Hawkeyes.

ABC NEWS launches blogs devoted to Politics and pop culture, gadgets and technology, science and society, and the legal system. But they're all stuck in the technology section of the ABC News website.

FILESHARING: Grokster may go legit in a deal with Mashboxx -- if the lawsuits against it can be settled (and going legit may be a part of any settlement).

WORMHOLES may be usable for time travel, but with wormholes weighing 100 times as much as the sun, a DeLorean seems more practical.

DOGS: The American Dog Owners Association wants you to celebrate National Dog Week from Sept. 18-24, 2005. And here's a gallery of almost 100 Chicagoland dogs. Awwww...

WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF? Germans. And they aren't crying wolf, either.

THAI ELEPHANTS are looking for a rescue. Prices start at 48,700 bucks apiece. I'd get y'all some for the holidays, but you have to be a Thai national to buy them.

IT'S RAINING SPIDERS in Johannesburg: "It's that time of year: the gentle sounds of summer approaching; lawnmowers, crickets, birdsong, the fizz of beer cans opening -- and the shrieks of suburbanites confronted by rain spiders."