LILEKS notes that it's decoration season and solicits your input on Christmas songs for his Sunday newspaper column.

STACY'S MOM (Rachel Hunter) and Baywatch bunny Nicole Eggert are Gingers on The Real Gilligan's Island, which premieres tonight.

FILM STEW reports that people are upset that Natalie Portman will not be topless in Closer when it opens this Friday.

ON THE PITCHFORK: Warner Bros. to squeeze REM fans.

WILLIAM A. MITCHELL, inventor of Cool Whip, quick-set Jell-O, Tang, Pop Rocks and more, dead at 92.

HARVARD UNIVERSITY backed the Nazis. Who knew?

THANKSGIVING AFTERMATH: Dispute over turkey blamed for stabbings. Also, a car collided with a tractor-trailer carrying 11,000 pounds of frozen turkeys, killing three people.

BOFFO PR FOR OCEAN'S TWELVE: Julia Roberts delivers her twins. They are named Hazel and Phinnaeus, thereby ensuring that at least one of them will resent her in later life.

THE UKRAINE is still not a sitting duck. Daniel Drezner is blogging the story at length, with plenty of links to outside media.

MARTHA STEWART is a hit at her prison mess hall. But guess where Martha stashes her ingredients.

RECORD CDs on your own homemade gramophone!

ALEXANDER THE HORRIBLE: Oliver Stone's latest debuts at number six, beaten out by Spongebob; The Incredibles digs in at number two.

MINI-REVIEWS: Skipping Alexander, I caught Finding Neverland and Sideways. The former was probably greenlighted by Miramax after the success of Shakespeare In Love as Neverland uses the same parallel structure to show how the life of a famous author -- J.M. Barrie, in this case -- influenced the creation of a work of art. And with the darker aspects of Barrie's life dismissed as rumor, this movie bears as much relationship to reality as Shakespeare In Love. Nevertheless, there's plenty to like in this movie. Depp is fine as Barrie, though not a revelation, as the role calls for some of the same Keaton-and-Chaplin whimsy Depp served up in Benny and Joon, albeit with more subtlety and an accent. Better are Kate Winslet and Radha Mitchell as the women in Barrie's life. It would be cruelly ironic if Winslet is nominated for an Oscar for this role and for Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, as she would split her own vote. Mitchell is good enough as Barrie's restrained, social-climbing wife that it took me a few minutes to place her as the spaceship captain in Pitch Black.

Sideways is also about an author... sort of. The main character, Miles Raymond, is also a middle school English teacher and oenophile -- a wine-tasting fanatic. Though both Miles and his friend Jack have plenty of bad traits, the audience comes to like Miles for what we see when he speaks of the passions that move him. Jack seems to be the more normal at the outset, but is ultimately seen as a man without passion. Sideways is a tour de force for Paul Giamatti; though my description of Miles may sound like Giamatti's take on Harvey Pekar in American Splendor, the actual performance is far different, but equally good, if not better. Thomas Hayden Church is good as Jack, though the backstory may not be much of a stretch for him. Virginia Madsen, who started her acreer in more intense roles, is charming as Maya; I even liked Sandra Oh as Stephanie (and I generally do not like Sandra Oh in anything). It's a romantic comedy or dramedy, I suppose, but there is nothing saccharine about it. Sideways continues a winning streak for director Alexander Payne, who previously directed Citizen Ruth, Election, and About Schmidt. I do not know whether critics will rate Sideways above About Schmidt, but I found it much easier to watch.

WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION, just a royalty check, please.

NO CHEERS: Shelley Long hospitalized for an overdose? UPDATE: Long's manager denies it was a suicide attempt.

THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA is bedeviled by blogs.

THE UNITED NATIONS OIL-FOR-FOOD SCANDAL, in which Saddam Hussein's regime reaped over 21 billion dollars through oil surcharges, kickbacks on civilian goods and smuggling directly to willing governments, continues to fester and gets nearer to the top.

QOTD: "I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson (via Pejman).

And to briefly respond to Ron and others, the links are culled by scanning Yahoo! News, Google News, and a list of bookmarks accumulated over the years. Many of my bookmarked sites tend to be niche news sites or blogs that provide links to various types of stories: gossip, Hollywood, the media business, etc. Also, if I hear or see something funny on radio or television, I'll take a stab at finding it on the web and posting a link. There is a fair amount of stuff I don't post because, for example, it might be too political, or too pornographic, or both. Or not really relevant to the Pate site; for example, I often look at the sites of web designers, just for the artistry.

Also, having a government job, not getting married and not having kids (afaik) probably gives me a few more moments during the day for reading web sites than many people have.

Ron's post also makes me think that I may be a bit light on the tech-oriented links, other than the occasional nanotech link in case Jon Pratt misses it. I'll try to pick up some slack there. However, if folks have links of any sort they would like to share, they should feel free to submit them directly (as Ron and Dave Ewoldt have done) or send them to me for posting. I post the links to keep the site fresh and encourage folks to visit more often, but the more people want to add their two cents, the better!

I am always amazed at how Karl is able to find so many tibits on the Internet. I find it challenging to post things here since I pay attention to computer related things. But I found this little tidbit on what you can do with your AOL disks that you get in the mail all the time.

The AOL Throne

WELCOME, JON HAHN! The wayward Pate joins us officially. As I once wrote him (albeit regarding Jon Pratt): "It just ain't the Archies without the Jughead beat." And this site could be another place to promote future projects, gigs, etc. (that goes for Mike and the rest, too).

WHILE ON THE SUBJECT of site business, I'll thank everyone (and one of you in particular) who helped make November the site's busiest by a wide margin, with a week or so yet to go.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES makes the cover of Newsweek. Among the more interesting tidbits: the show was created by a gay Republican and is shot on the street where Wally and the Beav grew up.

SOME COLOR LASER PRINTERS use technology that allows the government to track documents like license plates in counterfeiting cases.

ON THE PITCHFORK: A so-so review of the new U2 disc. UPDATE: However, it gets a rave from a Charismatic Episcopalian minister at National Review Online. Go figure.

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU: Early reviews and a few new clips of the new film from Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums) are up at Aint-It-Cool-News.

I LOVE COWBELL IN THE SUMMER: Anyone who did not understand my link to Dooce last week (Thursday, iirc) may want to watch some streaming video at Milk and Cookies.

NO JAIL TIME FOR FAST-FORWARDING: The Senate removes some of the controversial provisions of the copyright bill headed to the House of Representatives. It still has 50 pages devoted to regulating professional boxing, which may be a good idea, but not in a copyright bill.

ANTHONY HOPKINS, PATRICIA CLARKSON & JAMES GANDOLFINI are joining the remake of the political drama "All the King's Men." It's written and directed by Steve Zaillian, a family friend. Not mentioned is that Steve has retained James Carville as a consultant on Louisiana; don't be surprised if he ends up with a cameo.

GUILTY PLEASURE: The new holiday ad for OfficeMax is pseudo-Rankin-Bass goodness.

MICHAEL MOORE tops the Film Threat list of the coldest people in Hollywood. "The Frigid 50 ice pack have left audiences cold with their overbearing personalities, poor career choices and chronic inability to stop making fools of themselves."

THE OTHER NECKTIE: The Serbian who has created a gential cravat claims Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton and Jacques Chirac are among his clients. Insert your own punchline here.

BRAD PITT goes up a notch by declining an invite to Inside the Actor's Studio.

TONY BLAIR: A motion to impeach the prime minister over the war in Iraq is scheduled to be tabled Wednesday, but is not expected to go anywhere.

JANE GALT: As the nickname suggests, Megan McArdle is pretty libertarian (both, actually -- and strikingly tall). But at Thanksgiving, she wants to tell you what to do. Or eat, anyway.

PARIS HILTON: Photographed with a woman and can't spell. Are either of these stories news?