THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with DANNY & DUSTY, a rootsy alt-supergroup fronted by Dan Stuart (Green on Red) and Steve "Dusty" Wynn (Dream Syndicate) and backed by members of those bands and The Long Ryders.  The Paisley Undergrounders recorded a single album, The Long Weekend, in 1985.  Pate fans may remember the album from its recurring rotation at the Music Works ("This is not a record store... it's a hangout").  It turns out there's a new D&D album due on April Fool's Day, which I discovered after finding this rare live video of "The Word is Out."  You can also stream some preview tracks (and the old "Bend in the Road") at TheirSpace.  BONUSES:  As we only have the one D&D video, here's a live clip of the Dream Syndicate playing "The Days Of Wine And Roses," the official clip of The Long Ryders' "Looking for Lewis and Clark" and a fan-made clip of Green On Red's "No Free Lunch."

PETER BJORN & JOHN:  Bjorn sings the praises of the tambourine in classic pop songs.  And he is right, of course; there is almost always room for a tambourine... and... more cowbell.  BONUS:  Peter and Bjorn's cover of "Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard" has made it onto the ol' HM for your listening pleasure.  And yes, there's some tambourine in it.

THE SHINS played an unpluggety set for Hub 6, which you can stream from the BBC now.

THE WRENS:  Stereogum interviews guitarist Charlie Bissell about teaching guitar and his other day jobs, including lawyer.  You can jukebox a flock of Wrens via the ol' HM.

JULES SHEAR:  the singer-songwriter probably best known for "If She Knew What She Wants" (by way of The Bangles)  gets his own "Idiot's Guide" surveying his catalog at Jefitoblog.  You can jukebox the accompanying music tracks via the ol' HM.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO:  Friday puts me in the mood to hear Elvis Costello & the Attractions "Pump It Up."

SPARKLEHORSE stopped by The Current, so you can stream a few ethereal songs and a few words via Minnesota Public Radio now.

AN AQUARIUM DRUNKARD has a new podcast posted, with songs ranging from David Bowie to Andrew Bird to (acoustic) Sonic Youth.

THE 69 SEXIEST SONGS... EVER, according to AOL.  And it's an interesting list, though marred by some fairly glaring omissions.  Anyway, they are all streamable, so have at it.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortutitous finds on the ol' HM include:  Lalo Shifrin - Enter The Dragon; The Jam - Start!; Band of Bees - Listening Man; Box Tops - The Letter; Big Star - O My Soul; The dB's - Amplifier; Neko Case - Buckets of Rain (B. Dylan); The Beach Boys - Sail On, Sailor; David Bowie - Queen B*tch; Belle & Sebastian - Sukie in the Graveyard (profanity); Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend; Young Fresh Fellows - Low Beat; Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide World; Dungen - Gr Det Nu (new!); The Wedding Present -  Pleasant Valley Sunday; The Yardbirds - For Your Love;  and Emm Gryner - Pour Some Sugar On Me.

BRITNEY SPEARS went back into rehab for the third time in about a week.  I suppose she may be out again by the time you read this, but I tend to think not.  Spears lashed out at the paparazzi with an umbrella last night, amid speculation that she and her estranged husband cut a deal that she would re-enter rehab and Fed-Ex would drop his request to expedite the couple's child-custody proceedings.

NOW SHOWING:  This week's wide releases include: the Jim Carrey thriller The Number 23, currently scoring a scary  9 percent on the Tomatometer; the TV spin-up comedy Reno 911!: Miami, which is scoring 44 percent; and the Billy Bob Thornton-led The Astronaut Farmer, which sounds a bit like Andy Griffith's 1979 TV series Salvage 1, but is scoring 69 percent on the Tomatometer.  Opening near-wide is The Abandoned, this week's horror flick not screened for critics.  Amazing Grace, about William Wilberforce's fight against slavery, opens on 791 screens and is scoring 60 percent.

JIM CARREY, btw, admits his reputation may be taking a dive: "Everyone gets to be the big joke for a year. That's this business. Last year it was Tom Cruise. I could be the next Kathie Lee Gifford."

BRADGELINA:  Following the death of her mother, Jolie has reportedly lost noticeable weight, and is "lonely and desperate to make new friends."

JESSICA SIMPSON bought a van for the Casa Hogar Elim orphanage in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.  The pneumatic blonde has also recently expressed her wish to adopt kids like Angelina Jolie. Just sayin'.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but  a weepy Judge Larry Seidlin ruled that Smith's remains should be given to the court-appointed guardian ad litem representing her 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn.  FNC has video of Judge Seidlin's Greatest Hits.  Before the ruling, we learned that Howard K. Stern was entirely financially dependent upon the late spokesmodel and snuck her drugs even while doctors were trying to wean the then-pregnant Smith from her addiction to meds.  Also, TMZ turned up video of Smith and her doctor getting hot and heavy at a West Hollywood, Calif. gay bar in 2005.  Although the guardian intends to have Smith buried next to her son in the Bahamas, Smith's mother may appeal Judge Seidlin's ruling.

LINDSAY LOHAN, fresh from rehab, continues clubbing copiously, and skipped a memorial service for director Robert Altman, who she previously called "the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years."

MADONNA has banned her daughter from dating until she is 18, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

SIENNA MILLER was snapped topless at the beach with possible bf Jamie Burke, so your just a cople of clicks away from NSFW material.

CELEBRITY POLITICS:   A new CBS poll shows that the American public is divided on whether Hollywood celebrities should be involved in politics -- a reversal from four years ago, when most thought celebs should get involved if they chose to.

THEY WUZ ROBBED!  Slashfilm lists "Movies That Should Have Won an Academy Award, But Didn't."

DISPATCHES -- UNDERCOVER MOSQUE:  A reporter for Britain's Channel 4 entered Birmingham's prominent Green Lane mosque and other leading mosques in Britain with a hidden camera. He found Islamic supremacism, hatred of Jews and Christians, and the subjugation of women preached in them.  Like most things, the documentary has been posted on the Tube (Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6).

MORE ISLAMISM in the UK:  The Muslim Council of Britain is demanding a ban on "un-Islamic" activities in schools, Arabic language classes for Muslim pupils, recitations from the in music classes, prayer rooms with washing facilities in all schools, and more...

IRAN ignored the UN Security Council's ultimatum to freeze uranium enrichment -- a possible pathway to nuclear arms -- and has instead expanded its program by setting up hundreds of centrifuges.  The US and its European partners are weighing another set of financial restrictions on Tehran, including the possibility of targeting companies run by the country's elite Revolutionary Guard Corps.

IRAQ:  US troops uncovered a car bomb factory with propane tanks and chlorine cylinders in Anbar province.  Bill Roggio has a round-up of operations in Anbar and other provinces,  For example, a senior police chief in Baqubah was arrested for "involvement in the murder, torture, kidnapping and sectarian violence of Iraqi citizens in Diyala Province."  That's actually good news, considering prior reports that militants were fleeing there from Baghdad before the "surge."  Another two brigades of Iraqi troops will be sent to Basra to boost security when British forces begin their phased withdrawal.

THE LARGEST SQUID EVER CAUGHT, weighing an estimated 990 lbs and about 39 feet long, took New Zealand fishermen two hours to land in Antarctic waters.  Neither Capt. Nemo nor Capt. Jack Sparrow could be reached for comment.

HOLY MACKEREL!  KFC has asked Pope Benedict XVI to bless the Fish Snacker Sandwich, a Lenten addition to the chain's Snacker sandwich line.

BINDI SUE UPDATE:  The search for the stolen baby Dumeril's boa turns up a ball python -- also possibly stolen from the same pet store.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  A kitty with 26 toes.  Pic of "Extra" and her many pads at the link.

A DEER was rescued from a coffee can by members of the Royal Mounted Canadian Police.

DAVID VANDERVELDE brings the glam on "Jacket."  Even better, you can stream his whole debut album as I write this.

ELVIS PERKINS gets a mini-set at the World Cafe, which you can stream via NPR.

THE DECEMBERISTS are playing with the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl July 7th.  They also have a new long-form, 10-minute "Director's Cut" of "O, Valencia."

LUCINDA WILLIAMS talks to Paste, The Baltimore Sun and The Phoenix about her new album West. (Thanks, Chromewaves!)  As usual, you can jukebox a Lucinda mix via the ol' HM.

GUNS 'N' ROSES enter the periphery of the reunion radar.

"WE ARE THE BOYS" (Who Make All the Noise)" is a medley of early rock 'n' roll classics like "Great Balls 'o' Fire" and "Chantilly Lace," as recorded in this one-off project from Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy), Roy Wood (The Move), Chas Hodges (Chas 'n' Dave), and John Coghan (Status Quo).

YO LA TENGO fromtman Ira Kaplan tells X-Press Online how the band's music is shaped by their community.

THE JESUS AND MARY CHAIN reunion may produce a new album, but the Reid brothers will be releasing solo albums this year in any event.  You can stream some Jim solo samples via HisSpace.

JAMES BROWN:  The six adult children of singer James Brown and his partner, Tomi Rae Hynie, have agreed on where the Godfather of Soul will be buried -- which is an undisclosed location, so maybe he will be guarded by VP Dick Cheney.  Brown's former manager reveals he keeps opening the golden casket to make sure Brown is still there; all needs now is to istall a refrigerator light.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE:  The supposedly sober supermodel's jaw dropped when she saw the "Don't End Up Like Pete the Junkie" signs plastered outside a recent Babyshambles gig .

BRITNEY SPEARS is back out of rehab in less than a day (again).  The pop tart has reportedly claimed her head-sahving was because of a problem with lice, but  an unnamed source told OK! magazine that it was because Fed-Ex threatened that he was going to have people test her hair, which could show whether she had been abusing illegal drugs, which could be used in the couple's looming child-custody battle.  Coincidentally enough, Fed-Ex and his lawyers are seeking to expedite the child-custody proceedings.

JACKO is reportedly meeting with Prince for advice on how to land one of those long-running Vegas gigs like the Purple One has running at his 3121 Club.

TOM BRADY is officially excited about ex-gf Bridget Moynihan's pregnancy.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie and the kids meet a gay man dressed as an Oscar in N'awlins.  NTTAWWT.

LINDSAY LOHAN said she was "seriously considering" moving to London.  Of course, it's not the first time she has said that, either.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but it hasn't stopped TMZ from wondering whether Smith -- or her companion/lawyer Howard K. Stern -- were trying to changer her will at the time she died.

GREY'S ANATOMY will spin-off Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd into her own series.

NAOMI WATTS and LIEV SCHREIBER continue to attract pregnancy rumors.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA, otoh, is denying pregnancy rumors.

THE SEVEN WONDERS of the CELEBRITY WORLD, according to the Best Week Ever blog.  And one entry seems especially controversial with the commenters.

FIVE FREAKY MUPPET VIDEOS are presented by Ten Zen Monkeys.  Rockers feature in three of them.  But if you're going to bring Debbie Harry into it, why not feature her duet with Kermit on "Rainbow Connection?"

HONOR KILLINGS:  In the UK, a father torched his wife and four daughters in their sleep because he could not bear them adopting a more westernized, less Muslim lifestyle, an inquest heard. In Chicago, Daryoush Ebrahimi allegedly admitted killing his wife, sister-in-law and mother-in-law because they "disrespected him and said he was not a man."  I note that in the second case, the family was Assyrian Christian.

IRAN publicly hanged a man who confessed to involvement in last week's deadly bomb attack on members of the Revolutionary Guards in the tense border city of Zahedan.  Compare the near-total lack of ourage about this to the media barrage of complaints over the hanging of Saddam Hussein after a lengthy trial.  Apparently, we are unwilling to judge the Iranian government -- which has been around since 1979 -- by the same standards we apply to a fledgling democracy.

IRAQ:  In the L.A. Times, Max Boot asks: "Is Iraq turning into Yugoslavia?"   Time magazine reports that it is "too quiet" in Baghdad -- which may be true, but there's just no pleasing the press, is there?  US troops are also scouring the outskirts of Baghdad to identify threats before they reach the capital.  Citizens and police in Jumaylah attacked an al-Qaeda convoy attempting to enter the town. Seven al-Qaeda were killed and 13 captured in raids in Ramadi, Fallujah and Baqubah.  Hardcore Islamists are trying their own "surge" in Ramadi, but the US was expecting it.

THE RUNNING of the BULL in Upton, Mass. consumed about four hours along Route 140.  Video at the link.

SWARMS of GIANT HORNETS have settled in France, but entomologists fear it will just be a matter of time before they cross to Britain.  Global warming is blamed, natch.

COWS stare unamazed as Switzerland's Agriculture Ministry calls on the country's farmers to stop feeding them cannabis.

SUMATRAN RHINO crosses the ocean to get it on for the species.

THE BAT DEMON is blamed for a rash of sex attacks -- mostly against men -- in Tanzania's main city, Dar es Salaam.  Well, of course, what else could it be?

THE KILLERS cover the Dire Straits classic "Romeo and Juliet" at the venerable Abbey Road Studios in London.  I was always more partial to "Skateaway."

NEW RELEASES:  Full albums from Harlem Shakes, Luscious Jackson, former LJ vocalist Jill Cundiff and more are streaming via Spinner this week (finally).

HOODOO GURUS frontman Dave Faulkner talks to Harp magazine about his long-running scheme to bring back "the dumbness of rock" in a nifty history of the band; he even explains who "I Want You Back" is really about.

VAN HALEN:  That reunion?  Postponed indefinitely.

JON AUER of The Posies, touring Down Under in support of his long-gestating solo album, Songs from the Year of Our Demise, explains to The Age why director Stanley Kubrick is his No. 1 friend on his MySpace page.  Of course, you can stream a couple of tracks there, and there's another song streamable from NPR's holiday picks for 2006.

JUNE CARTER CASH is getting the tribute album treatment with tracks from Sheryl Crow, Willie Nelson, Loretta Lynn, Emmylou Harris and more... including Elvis Costello on "Ring of Fire."  You can hear June sing it on this fan-made video, followed by Johnny's version.  BONUS:  Did you ever see Blondie cover "Ring of Fire" in the 1980 movie Roadie?

SEEN YOUR VIDEO:  The Windy City is coming out of the deep freeze for a moment, so I want to wallow in the guilty pleasure that is "Beach Baby" by First Class.  It's the single version that fades out before the wonderful french horn-and-a cappella vox-driven bridge, but still a tast stick of gum.

THE TOP 100 INDIE SONGS of ALL TIME, according to music blog HearYa.  And by "all time," they apparently mean "since 1980," with more than half since 2000.  So there are glaring omissions, only some of which are noted in the comments there.  For example, the list misses the entire output of Stiff Records and 2-Tone Records, let alone Sun Records.  And if I really wanted to get picky, I could drag out stuff like the early dB's albums on Albion, REM's "Radio Free Europe" self-released on Hib-Tone, etc.  That being said, the list is not a bad indie collection... and for yupsters wanting to catch up with the post-Nirvana indie world, it could be pretty useful.

FESTIVAL UPDATES:  The Beastie Boys, Bjork, the Arcade Fire, Spoon and Interpol lead the lineup at the Sasquatch! Festival, May 26-27 at the Gorge Amphitheatre in George, Wash.  The aforementioned HearYa blog has made MP3s submitted by bands at SxSW streamable, which is a great public service.

THE JAM reforming without Paul Weller, otoh, is a great public disservice.  Bruce Foxton is a fab bassist, but please.  Stop. The. Madness.

THE SMITHEREENS frontman Pat DiNizio tells InsideBayArea the band has a three-disc effort coming later this year and that its current cover album of Meet the Beatles is a political statement of sorts.  He also talks about a solo album, an upcoming TV project and the year he spent filming Seventh Inning Stretch for ESPN2.

BRITNEY SPEARS has checked into an undisclosed L.A.-area in-patient rehab facility, after intervention by family members.  Not a moment too soon, but better late than never.  The pop tart's rep issued the obligatory statement urging everyone to respect Britney's privacy, to the extent someone who went around exposing her privates in public has any.

LINDSAY LOHAN, fresh out of her own stint in rehab, nevertheless spent last weekend clubbing until the wee hours every morning.

BRIDGET MOYNIHAN and TOM BRADY have their camp followers sniping at each other following her announcement that she is three months pregnant with his child.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Their divorce is getting so nasty that Heather Mills McCartney  is reportedly threatening to make unsubstantiated claims that Sir Paul's poor parenting in the past led two of his children to contemplate suicide.

CARMEN ELECTRA and DAVE NAVARRO are officially splitsville.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD, but Smith's boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, and her estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, were in a Florida court arguing what to do with her remains, while another hearing in California dealt with questions about the paternity of the former centerfold's infant daughter.  Stern told the court that he didn't want to get formally married to Smith because he didn't want to be perceived as a gold-digger.  Too bad for him that he comes off as ghoulshly exploitative in the video of an 8-months pregnant Smith seemingly high on something, which has been circulating the Internet after airing Monday night on Fox News.  And since I previously noted the wackiness of FL Judge Larry Seidlin, I'm not at all surprised to learn that the judge dreams of his own TV courtroom show.

ANNE HATHAWAY tells the Times of London that she used to be more like Lindsay Lohan, but "found you can only dance on so many table tops."

AARON ECKHART is in final negotiations to play Harvey Dent/Two Face in the sequel to Batman Begins.  BONUS:  Even in the real world, the Batman is elusive.

24 is dialing back on the torture scenes, ostensibly because it was beoming a cliche, not because the US military, human rights groups and children's advocates complained about it.  In the Washington Post, writer Peter Carlson mocks the uproar.

THE OSCARS:  Gold Derby blogger Tom O'Neil suggests that the American Cinema Editors award shows that Babel is the main competition to The Departed.  He also notes that Pete Hammond of Maxim and HollywoodWiretap.com has switched his best-pic prediction from Little Miss Sunshine to Babel.  I note that at Intrade, the betting still favors The Departed by a rather wide margin.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON has topped Playboy's annual 25 Sexiest Celebrities list: "Scarlett Johansson is the apex of beauty and sensuality -- from her porcelain skin to her fully feminine figure to her mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and indefinable."  London's Sun has galleries of Scarlett and her competition at the link.  You can see her chemistry with Justin Timberlake in the video for "What Goes Around...Comes Around."

STEVE JOBS and MICHAEL DELL don't even agree on whether teachers' unions are a good thing. 

MALAYSIA:  A state govenment plans to enlist vigilante sex police to inform on unmarried couples kissing or holding hands.

IRAN:  Pres. Ahmadinejad rejected international calls to suspend uranium enrichment, as the UN deadline runs out.  And why shouldn't he?  After all, even under the existing sanctions, trade between the European Union and Iran increased last month.  Meanwhile, Iranian patrol boats have crossed into Iraqi waters in the last week to assess defenses near Iraqi offshore oil terminals.

IRAQ:  It looks like Moqtada al-Sadr has decided to purge people from the Mahdi Army while he's out of town.  But that apparently has not stopped the Iraqi Army and US troops from bombarding his office west of Baghdad.  An Iraqi paper reports that the gov't is offering some serious de-de-Bathification as part of national reconciliation efforts.  A chlorine truck was bombed in Taji, killing nine and sickening 150.  The AP account suggests that the new Baghdad security plan is faltering, despite that: (a) afaik, it doesn't encompass Taji; (b) US and Iraqi troops are nowhere near full strength yet; and (c) the 100 reported dead in the first week of the new op are just slightly more than the average number killed every day in Baghdad last month.  Elsewhere, Al-Zawra TV, which had been a jihadist propaganda tool, is turning critical of al Qaeda.

LELE is a Chinese pooch who buys his own sausages when he's hungry.

VELVET, a black Labrador mix, probably saved the lives of those three climbers rescued after a harrowing fall and a night in the wind and cold high on Mount Hood, OR.

BINDI SUE, a Dumeril's Boa, may never reach her 7-foot-long prime if her abductors don't give her the warm cage, proper bedding and mouse suppers she needs.

HUNDREDS of SHEEP have been rustled in the Port Hills area of New Zealand.

CHRISTMAS the HAMSTER was miraculously brought back to life after being cooked by accident.

JARVIS COCKER closed his Shockwaves NME Awards Show gig with covers of Talking Heads' "Heaven" and Black Sabbath's "Paranoid."

NEW RELEASES:  It seems that folks took the Presidents Day holiday to slack on posting good links for new releases.  There may be better links tomorrow, but for now the ones that leap out at me are: The Black Lips' Los Valentes Del Mundo Nuevo, which is Nuggets-y goodness recorded live in Tijuana; Elvis Perkins finally releasing Ash Wednesday; and Explosions in the Sky's more epic indie rock on All Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone.  EitS is also scheduled to visit Conan O'Brien tonight.  Plus, Southern Culture on the Skids is streaming their new Countrypolitan Favorites from their website, including covers of "Muswell Hillbilly" (Kinks), "Have You Seen Her Face?" (Byrds) and "Happy Jack" (Who).

ARCADE FIRE visited New York's Judson Memorial Church for a full concert on Feb. 17, 2007, which you can stream from NPR now.

THE HOLD STEADY frontman Craig Finn tells Ireland.com how The Replacements inspired him to become a rocker.

OF MONTREAL frontman Kevin Barnes played a solo, acoustic gig at Dallas' Good Records on Sunday, including covers of The Beatles, Olivia Tremor Control, and Neil Young.  You can jukebox it via te ol' HM, also.

VANILLA FUDGE is your Twofer Tuesday, with interpretations of "You Keep Me Hangin' On" and -- even better, imho -- "Shotgun."

DEAN & BRITTA:  PopMatters gives Back Numbers -- the upcoming album from the husband-and-wife Luna survivors -- a thumbs-up, complete with streaming audio and embedded video.

FIFTEEN UNDERRATED ALBUMS, according to The Big Takeover.

COCAINE COVERS:  My Old Kentucky Blog compiles and streams numerous versions of two songs named "Cocaine Blues," by everyone from Johnny Cash to Uncle Tupelo to Nick Drake.

CHARLIE LOUVIN:  The Village Voice reviews the country legend's cameo-studded, self-titled album.  You can stream Louvin with George Jones and Jeff Tweedy at There's Always Someone Cooler Than You --a French blog on American music, and Louvin with Will Oldham via the ol' HM.

 PETE DOHERTY UPDATE:  The troubled singer was caught on a mobile phone camera snorting a deadly mix of cocaine and the horse tranquilliser ketamin.

MARDI GRAS BIN:  I almost forgot!  Here's a quick string of musical beads: Professor Longhair - Mardi Gras In New Orleans; Dr. John - Gris Gris Gumbo Yaya; Neville Brothers - Yellow Moon; Fats Domino - Walking To New Orleans; Boozoo Chavis - Zydeco Hee Haw; and Foo Fighters - Born On The Bayou.

BRITNEY SPEARS dons a wig to replace the one she just flipped.  Her shaved locks may be worth a million to the salon owners and various charities, and may cost the pop tart a fortune professionally.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Heather Mills is planning to make a Simpsons-esque cartoon series about estranged husband Paul McCartney and his family.

RAY LIOTTA:  The Goodfella was busted for DUI -- and preliminary reports show the substance which Liotta was allegedly under was not alcohol.

BRADGELINA:  Pitt hopes a new child will help heal Jolie's pain after the loss of her mother.

KATE HUDSON-CHRIS ROBINSON BREAK-UPDATE:  Hudson and Owen Wilson made a rare public appearance Down Under Sunday to attend a private screening of Matthew McConaughey's We Are Marshall.

MUSIC and LYRICS:  Hugh Grant split from his girlfriend Jemima Khan after almost three years together.  Drew Barrymore is rebuffing Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti's attempts to reconcile.  The video for "PoP! Goes My Heart" -- which apparently features in the new Grant-Barrymore rom-com -- is a well-fermented piece of 80s-esque cheese, with Wham! being the most obvious point of parody.

THE OSCARS:  Cinema Blend has this year's class picture from the Academy Award Nominees Luncheon.

MADONNA told Sirius Satellite Radio that she wants "to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon."  But in a 25 million dollar 18th century English mansion,

RALPH FINNES:  Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson claims that she did indeed induct the actor into the Mile-High Club.

MISCHA BARTON:  The former O.C. hottie was spotted over the weekend leaving L.A. hotspot Hyde, as she was apparently engaged in a questionable act with a man in her vehicle.  Ambiguous but suggestive pic at the link.  Maybe she just lost something under the dashboard.

SIENNA MILLER is not above stealing someone's dog to keep her company.

IRAN may be able to enrich uranium on a mass scale in just six months, but it could still be 10 years away from the capacity to build a nuclear bomb, the chief UN monitor said.  He said that, according to US and British intelligence estimates, Iran was still five to 10 years away from building a nuclear bomb, and warned against "hype" over Tehran's nuclear progress.  Fair enough, though I think we've seen that US and UK intell doesn't always get it right, either.

IRAQ:  60 Minutes had a nice piece on success in the Kurdish north of Iraq.  The full story is more complicated -- there was internecine and intra-Kurdish conflict and warfare as recently as 1994-96, ultimately settled in large part by an agreement for the equitable distribution of oil revenue.  That's one reason why it's good news that a draft version of the long-awaited law for developing Iraqi oil fields and distributing oil revenues has been submitted to Iraq's cabinet.  And potentially even better news that Iraq has substantially increased its estimates of the amount of oil and natural gas in deposits on Sunni lands after quietly paying foreign oil companies tens of millions of dollars over the past two years to re-examine old seismic data across the country and retrain Iraqi petroleum engineers.

BAGHDAD:  In Iraq's capital, the fifth day of the new security plan led to 103 terrorists being either killed or arrested.   Al-Sabah reported that 500 families have returned to Baghdad so far as scenes of refugees disappear.  Youths celebrated in the street in defiance of the now invisible Mahdi Army, despite unconfirmed rumors of US-Iraqi death squads. 

A TURTLE survives caesarean section surgery at the at Chengdu City Zoo in China.

GANGS of MACAQUE MONKEYS have been causing havoc in housing estates in Singapore.  Insert George Allen joke here.

THE AFLAC DUCK is going on the endangered species list.  Gilbert Gottfried is despondent.  Ben Affleck is overjoyed.

A BABY ARABIAN ORYX -- a rare species of antelope that is said to have inspired the myth of the unicorn -- debuted at the Kanazawa Zoo in Yokohama.  Awww...some pic at the link.

SUICIDE SQUIRELS were responsible for 28 percent of the power outages in Lincoln, NE, last year.

LONEY, DEAR: The video for "I Am John" may be dark, but the song from the Swedish popsters is anything but.

PETER BJORN & JOHN: Fellow Swede-poppers talk about the "Young Folks"-propelled buzz with New Zealand's Stuff. You can stream a nifty unpluggety set from Peter & Bjorn -- including a cover of Paul Simon's "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" -- via KCRW.

DAVID LEE ROTH gives Rolling Stone a Van Halen reunion update.

ONETWOTHREEFOUR: Covert Curiousity posted a two-parter of the Ramones playing Northwestern University in October '79. You can also jukebox it o­n the ol' HM.

SxSW: The official schedule of bands is o­nline, with many bands already contributing MP3s to sample in advance of next month's fest.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: A really guilty pleasure of mine is Toto's "Hold the Line." I just dig that guitar riff against the staccato piano.

HUSKER DU and JEFF TWEEDY are among the gigs recently posted at Captain's Dead. You can also jukebox 'em via the ol' HM.

THE CHINESE NEW YEAR was celebrated by A Plague of Angels with a number of tracks you can jukebox o­n the ol' HM, including the immortal "Kung Fu Fighting."

AMY WINEHOUSE apparently had curious white smudges near her nostrils after the Brit awards ceremony.

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE: The supposedly sober supermodel must take a drugs test if she wants to go to the US, because of her well-publicised cocaine scandal. The troubled singer will be glad to note that Moss has started wearing a ring o­n her wedding finger again.

BRITNEY SPEARS had a worse weekend than you did, unless you checked into rehab at Eric Clapton's Crossroads center in Antigua, checked out after less than a day, then returned to L.A., shaved your head completely bald and got tattooed. Top celebrity psychiatrists are calling it a "massive cry for help." As folks wait for the pop tart's locks to turn up o­n eBay, Spears' manager Larry Rudolph reportedly said she's already in counselling. The L.A. Times has the account from inside the salon. It is the sort of story tailor-made for the Gallery of the Absurd.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Ghost Rider, which ultimately scored 23 percent o­n the Tomatometer, took the top spot at the cineplex, with a 44 million take -- double that of second-place Bridge to Terabithia. Lat weekend's top pic Norbit slid 50 percent to third, but is an all-but-certain moneymaker. New releases Music and Lyrics, Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls, and Breach followed with 14, 12 and ten million, respectively. Last weekend's second, third, fourth and ffith-place pics -- Hannibal Rising, Because I Said So, The Messengers and Night at the Museum -- round out the Top Ten. This weekend breaks a six-week streak of lower total receipts in year-over-year stats.

THE OSCARS: With less than a week to go, Oscar oddsmakers from the Hollywood Reporter and Entertainment Weekly have the Best Picture race in a virtual dead heat, with The Departed edging out Little Miss Sunshine. At Movie City News, the Gurus o' Gold have it the other way around! FWIW, I think that sympathy for Scorsese and the general Oscar bias against comedies give the edge to The Departed.

BRIDGET MOYNIHAN and TOM BRADY are going to have a child, though the Pats' QB has already moved o­n to Victoria's Secret supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Gisele is smiling in the pics at the link, so I'm guessing she hadn't heard the news yet.

LINDSAY LOHAN has been released from rehab. Egotastic wonders whether Li-Lo is the subject of a risque blind item.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON wore some Woody Allen glasses to become the youngest-ever recipient of Harvard's Hasty Pudding award. But she abandoned intellectual for funny by claiming that her dream date is Patrick Swayze.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS STILL DEAD. And now she's embalmed, too. Not that she hadn't seemed embalmed many times before.

JENNIFER LOPEZ got a bit weepy after her new film was booed at the Berlin International Film Festival.

RYAN GOSLING admits he was a bad influence o­n Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, and that he really disliked Rachel McAdams when they filmed The Notebook together.

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY is observed today. Here's an inaccurate and profane tribute to the first US President.

TIGGER walks!

MALAYSIA: A day after creating an uproar among women across the country, a well-respected Islamic religious figure said that his comments that women should wear chastity belts to thwart rape and incest and "to protect themselves from sex maniacs" were just a joke. Oh, sure.

IRAQ: Two Shiite leaders confirmed US reports that al-Sadr had gone to Iran. As the US detained Iranians in Baghdad, a senior Mahdi Army commander stated that Sadr would be returning within days, and that any attempt to detain him would be an "uncalculated risk aiming to escalate the situation in Iraq and to end the political process." Iraq's VP, otoh, wants the Mahdi Army designated a terrorist group. Trainers see improvements in the Iraq Police forces, and it seems that there has been a dramatic and unexpected increase in the number of recruits in Anbar province. Twenty-one suspected al Qaeda terrorists were detained in Ramadi, Baghdad and Karabilah. In Ramadi, US troops have broken a years-long stalemate between coalition forces, local insurgents and Islamic militants, according to the departing coalition commander. The 1st Iraqi Army Division is assuming operational control of its battlespace in Anbar province. Bill Ardolino blogs from Fallujah that the US disengagement strategy in Anbar has an upside and a downside. British troops completed transferring frontline security duties in Basra to the Iraqi Army.

IRAN has denied al-Sadr was in Iran. The mullocracy will not suspend uranium enrichment as demanded by the UN Security Council. Instead, it will launch their second war games in a month, just days ahead of the Feb. 21 UN deadline. The gov't also claimed that US manufactured weapons were found in a recent raid, but Little Green Footballs -- the blog known for identifying fake documents in the "Rathergate" scandal and doctored Reuters photos coming out of Lebanon last summer -- claims there's fauxtography in this case, too. Complete with an animation of how the Photoshopping was done.

YEAR OF THE PIG: RetroCrush celebraetes with a list of "The Greatest Porkers in Pop Culture History."

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: A duckling with four legs. (Thanks, Lance.)

CATS CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING, but you can make yours carbon-neutral for about eight Aussie bucks annually.

A WAYWARD COW'S dip in the North Sea ended up launching a full-scale search and rescue operation off Northumberland. A happy ending seems unlikely.

AN ALASKAN SLED DOG was saved by CPR from his owner o­n the trail, though it put the eighth-place team out of the running.