ROBYN HITCHCOCK talks to Harp magazine about the tour documentary, Sex, Food, Death and Insects, which I have seen and enjoyed.  There are three clips on the Tube (Clips One, Two and Three).

NEW RELEASES:  The National (in advance), Hot Chip, Wilco, Dungen and more are streaming in full via Spinner this week.  Wilco got a paltry 5.2 at Pitchfork, while the Jim DeRogatis writes in the Chicago Sun-Times that he only began to appreciate some of it after a dozen listens.  But the beauty is that you can listen for yourself online.  I'm anxious to stream the Dungen.  Great Northern releases an album of summery pop-rock called Eenie Meenie.  The High Strung, currently touring with Son Volt, has a new one called Get the Guests.  Pink Martini has an international flavor on Hey Eugene!  And  Ian Hunter has a new album on YepRoc.

THE HOLD STEADY talked to the NYT magazine for a piece about sex, drugs and updating your blog.  Guitarist Tad Kubler is the band's online point man, and he's ambivalent about privacy issues, while Keyboardist Franz Nicolay, knowing his offstage comments now turn up on blogs, laments:  "You can't be the drunken guy who just got offstage anymore... You start acting like a pro athlete, saying all these banal things after you get off the field."  OK Go's lead singer, Damian Kulash is also quoted. (Thanks, Sylvia, who writes from what she calls "the" gated community.  Which is very funny to those who know her.)

THE CLASH:  Berkeley Place has the only band that matters covered, from A-Z.  You can jukebox 'em via the ol' HM, too; just scroll down to May 10th and click listen next to the track you want.

JOY DIVISION is profiled in London's Independent, as Anton Corbijn's film about the late Joy Division frontman, Control: The Ian Curtis Film, will be premiered at the Cannes Film Festival on the 27th anniversary of the singer's suicide.

TWOFER TUESDAY brings two themes from James Bond movies -- Shirley Bassey with a live take on "Goldfinger," and Chris Cornell with "You Know My Name" from the opening of Casino Royale.  The latter is evr-so-slightly spoiler-y, but you really should have seen Casino Royale already.

LILY ALLEN was freaking out about her weight on her blog the other day, but she seems to have gotten over it now.

TIM FINN, former leader of Split Enz, played for WXPN and World Cafe Live in Philadelphia on May 11, so you can stream the whole gig now from NPR on demand.

THE MAGIC NUMBERS finally have a release date -- July 17 -- for their second album in North America. Originally slated to be released in February, the album hit a few snags during the band's switch from Capitol to Astralwerks.

LES PAUL:  The 91-year-old guitar wizard enthralled a hometown crowd in Waukesha, WI, Thursday night at a concert that raised more than 100 grand for an exhibit on his life.  You can stream a pre-concert interview from WGN Radio, which finds Les Paul talking about -- among other things -- his first meetings with Django Reinhardt, Louie Armstrong, Nat "King Cole" and others.  The interviewers mention the new Les Paul documentary Chasing Sound; you can see ten minutes on the Tube.

MARILYN MANSON and his 19-year-old lolita EVAN RACHEL WOOD had real sex in the video for "Heart-Shaped Glasses?"  Manson's rep denies it, natch.  Video at the link and yes, probably NSFW.

THE FRENCH HOTEL:  Candy Spelling (widow of Aaron, mother of Tori) tells the heirhead to grow up.  Even better Patty Hearst thinks the celebutante's 45 days in jail will be cruel and unusual punishment... for the other prisoners.

BRITNEY SPEARS just wants attention, according to Avril Lavigne, who manages to be both correct and lacking a sense of irony.  A 6' x 10' painting of the famous paparazzi photo showing the pop tart showing everything was covered by a curtain for Sen. Brack Obama's recent campaign fundraiser at a Virginia art gallery.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  The couple keeps up the charm offensive with a piece at People about Holmes ordering cupcakes, pizza and ice cream cones for the cast and crew on her new movie.

LEAH REMINI, in a semi-related piece, prepares for life after The King of Queens by assuring People that she is not trying to convert Jennifer Lopez to Scientology.

CHRISTINA RICCI helps promote the DVD release of Black Snake Moan by telling London's Mirror that she spent nearly the whole film shoot almost nude, to stay in character.

SEAN CONNERY is ripping retiring British PM Tony Blair and boosting the cause of Scottish independence.

BRADGELINA:  With all the paparazzi in Prague, Pitt is singing the praises of relative anonymity in N'awlins, and vows to return to the Crescent City.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY wishes some of new co-star Sienna Miller's party skills would rub off on her.

GIRLS GONE WILD co-founder Joe Francis has demonstrated "significant psychiatric issues" in a Florida county jail, according to his lawyer,  But will a federal pen in Nevada be any more to his liking?

JESSICA ALBA heralds the coming of Summer in a tank top and bikini bottoms.

INSURGENCY and COUNTER-INSURGENCY:  Last week, the USA Today reported on a study commissioned by the Defense Department showing that rebels lose more often than they win and that the chances for stopping an insurgency improve after 10 years.  Regular Pate readers know that a longer study showed the same thing.  At the Small Wars Journal blog, David Kilcullen discusses whether the usual rules of counter-insurgency apply to so-called "religious insurgencies."

STRETCHING THE FORCE:  Austin Bay, a retired Army Reserve colonel, and Phillip Carter, an attorney and Army veteran, recently debated whether the US Army in dire straits, or under pressure but essentially sound.  One sign of strain may be a shoratge of senior captains, or captains closest to promotion, which is due in part to previous decisions to promote officers more quickly to meet targets for Army majors. OTOH, fast-tracking officers with expertise and experience from the battlefields in Afghanistan and Iraq may help shorten the war.

IRAQ:  The US military acknowledged that three US soldiers, missing since Saturday, are probably being held hostage by an al Qaeda-affiliated group; a statement released purportedly by the Islamic State of Iraq, urged the US to give up looking for them, but that's unlikely.  A newly formed Sunni insurgent coalition accused al-Qaeda of killing 12 of its senior members in Baghdad's Dora neighborhood in a new sign of rifts between Iraq's militant groups.  Michael Yon's latest dispatch is that "The progress is very real.  But the potential for a disaster is also real."  Yon reprints the recent letter from Gen. Petraeus to the troops emphasizing that "Adherence to our values distinguishes us from our enemy. This fight depends on securing the population, which must understand that we-not our enemies-occupy the moral high ground..."  This even helps in Haditha, where some of our troops stand accused of murder, but the mayor of Haditha urges the Marines to stay: "The people of Germany and Japan would not have made progress without the Americans... The people of Iraq deserve the same."

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  A bunny letter-opener.

A BLOWFISH in Scottsdale, AZ, has an overbite that requires regular dentistry.  Video at the link.

A 185-LB. SEA LION waddled ashore to join schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon at the Marin Country Day School next to the shores of the San Francisco Bay.

CHARLOTTE'S WEB DOWN UNDER:  Tasmanians witnessed a rare natural phenomenon at the weekend when millions of juvenile spiders left home and covered hundreds of hectares of pasture with strands of spider web.

CHINESE PANDAS have been working overtime at the Beijing Zoo to allow a flood of holiday visitors a glimpse of the country's favourite animal.  Given widespread slave labor in the workers' paradise, it's safe to say the baers will not be paid bamboo-and-a-half.

HEAVY PETTING:  Pet massage classes are filling up with pet owners, groomers, competitors and others, instructors say.  Meanwhile, scientists explain how to pet cats, dogs and cows.

THE DECEMBERISTS soundcheck big hunks of Steve Miller's "Jet Airliner" and Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" at Western Washington University, plus clips from the concert at Volume-Knob.

WILCO frontman Jeff Tweedy gives The London Times, among other things, the quote of the week or month: "It took me years to work out what went into a great pop song... But even if I know the recipe it doesn't mean I have the ingredients. The way I see it, Abba made 'Dancing Queen' and, from that moment on, every musician who has heard it faces the struggle to come to terms with their own imperfection."

THE NATIONAL:  The band's Boxer album does not come out until May 22, but you can stream the whole album now.

ELVIS COSTELLO will not only appear on The Late Show With David Letterman tonight, but also on a post-show live webcast  at about 8:25 p.m. EST.

SHARON JONES & THE DAP-KINGS -- whose Daptone Records recently signed to the World's Fair label group -- have a new track streaming at Pitchfork.  More classic funky soul music, with a few twists.

BOB GELDOF, who organized the Live Aid and Live 8 benefit concerts, criticized the Live Earth music events Al Gore is putting together this summer, saying they lack a specific goal and that the name has people thinkig Geldof is involved.

THE ROCK BOTTOM REMAINDERS counts humorist Dave Barry among its members, and you never know who will be sitting in, like Roger McGuinn and Steve Martin on Bob Dylan's "You Ain't Goin' Nowhere."

WARNER MUSIC:  If you want to know why at least one major label is bleeding money, Roger Friedman will fill you in.

BEN GIBBARD played DC's 9:30 Club May 10th, so you can steam the gig via NPR on demand.  John Krasinski from The Office makes a cameo, grabbing a guitar and singing alittle Wilco.

GETTING POPPED AT THE POPS?  Police are investigating a fight that broke out between two men during last week's Boston Pops concert, which later featured a guest appearance by Ben Folds.  Idolator has your video.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE:  The troubled singer has unveiled his first public exhibition of his paintings and prints - produced in his own blood.  Pics at the link.

JOHN TRAVOLTA is accused of mistreating his autistic son by an Ocala, Florida restaurant manager, who blames Scientology.  Meanwhile, the Daily Mail claims Travolta is trying to suppress a BBC documentary on Scientology.  Both sides took to the Tube with Scientolgy allies posting video of presenter John Sweeney lashing out at a Scientologist, while the Beeb has posted a clip of a Scientology spokesman getting snippy with Sweeney.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Spider-Man 3 topped the box office again -- as expected -- with 60 million, but dropped 60% and missed its chance to become the fastest to break the 200 mill mark (tying Spider-Man 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest at eight days).  Then again, Dead Man's Chest dropped 54% in its second weekend, so the question is only the amount of profit.  New releases 28 Weeks Later and Georgia Rule came in a distant second and third, at 10 million and 5.8 million, respectively -- which means Georgia Rule didn't work as counter-programming to the web-slinger.  Disturbia placed a decent fourth on an 18% drop, followed by the debut of Delta Farce with 3.5 million.  Fracture made 2.9 million, while The Invisible made 2.2 million.  Hot Fuzz moved up to the eighth slot with 1.6 million -- it has made more than Shaun of the Dead here and 67 million worldwide.  Next and Meet the Robinsons round out the Top Ten just a few tens of thousands behind Hot Fuzz.

JANE FONDA and LINDSAY LOHAN were snapped taking to the dance floor at NYC's China Club after the premiere of Georgia Rule.

GEORGE MICHAEL has revealed he's starring in a new American TV sit-com with Trainspotting star Johnny Lee Miller.

PRINCE was straddled by a stalker at a secret gig in London.  Pic at the link.

BRADGELINA are working the domestic bliss publicly, with Jolie saying that Pitt completes her, while Pitt gushes that becoming a father is the best thing he ever did.

SHERYL CROW announced on her website that she has adopted a baby two-week-old boy, who presumably won't be using toilet paper for awhile.  Yeah, she tried to laugh off her advocacy of limits on toilet paperas a joke, so she probably wasn't laughing when Good Morning America gave fawning coverage of the family that uses no toilet paper.

LEONARDO DiCAPRIO, another celebrity green, is being sued for allegedly "maliciously" crossing onto his neighbors' property, cutting and removing hedges, excavating "earth, granite and bedrock," all for the construction of his personal basketball court.

THE OFFICE has been renewed for 24 episodes, including 4 hour-long specials.  The network had sought to make every episode an hour.

JOAN COLLINS and LINDA EVANS are in another catfight, something I had to note for my fellow Dynasty-mocker, Dale.

JESSICA SIMPSON shows off an impressive set of balloons during a nautical-themed photo shoot Wednesday at NYC's Coney Island in Brooklyn.  Pics at the link; the pic above is not one of them.

THE HAMAS MOUSE is back on Al-Aqsa TV, brainwashing kids with Islamist jihadi propaganda.  Here's video of the Mouse claiming he cheated on a test because the Jews destroyed his home, along with kindly Uncle Azim dreaming of the day Islamists re-conquer Spain and Portugal.

TURKEY:  Some 1.5 million Turks streamed into the port of Izmir to protest the pro-Islamic ruling party, increasing pressure on the government ahead of early elections.

AFGHANISTAN:  NATO and Afghan forces have killed the Taliban's top military commander.

IRAQ:  Reuters reported that the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq -- Iraq's most powerful Shiite party -- would make key changes to its platform that would align it with Iraq's top Shiite cleric Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani -- and distance it from Iran.  The media bureau of the Supreme Islamic Iraqi Council, formerly SCIRI, issued a statement late Saturday claiming this was "inaccurate analysis."  However, the change of name -- eliminating the "Revolution" which referred to Iran -- suggests at least a rhetorical shift away from Iran at a time when the Shiite Sadrists seem more aligned with Iran.  Al Qaeda has hit the Kurds for the second time in five days.  Vice President Tariq al-Hashemi --a Sunni Arab --  has backed down from a threat to withdrawal from the government, while Prime Minister al-Maliki has offered to give a greater role to Sunnis in securing their regions.  Also, there seem to be even more doubts that the parliament will set a timetable for US withdrawal.  PM al-Maliki also said he would send more troops to Diyala province to help halt sectarian fighting that has forced out hundreds of families in the past five days -- an issue that had caused the last session of parliament to end in a walkout by reps from Diyala.  Iraq's national security advisor told ABCNews that Syria is continuing to harbor and support Islamists responsible for killing both Iraqis and Americans.

GOAT DRESSING is apparently a competition at the gay rodeo.  Actually, I suspect this is a hoax -- NTTAWWT if it's real.

A PENGUIN has turned up 3,000 miles from home... and may be rejected by his new community.  And it seems unlikely that he will win them over with his dancing.

A HORSE IS A HORSE, of course, of course... even if you paint stripes on it and charge people to have pictures taken with the "zebra."

SUICIDE GOOSE sparks a power outage In PN that caused at least 25 gallons of oil to spill into the Ohio River.  How long until the geese form an Axis of Evil with the squirrels? (Thanks, Dad.)

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  A calf with two noses.  In fact, the secnd one looks like a pig snout!  (Thanks again, Dad.)

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with XTC!  Inspired by the career overview in Being There magazine, I checked the Tube to find tons 'o' tracks like"Statue of Liberty," "This is Pop" and "Neon Shuffle" from White Music; "Are You Receiving Me?" from Go 2;  "Making Plans for Nigel" and "Life Begins at the Hop," from Drums & Wires; "Respectable Street," "Generals & Majors" and "Sgt. Rock" from Black Sea;  "Senses Working Overtime," "Ball and Chain," "No Thugs in Our House" and "All of a Sudden" from English Settlement; "Love on a Farmboy's Wages," "In Loving Memory of a Name" and "Funk Pop A Roll" from Mummer; "All You Pretty Girls" from The Big Express; "Dear God" from Skylarking; "The Mayor of Simpleton" and "King for a Day" from Oranges & Lemons; "The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead," "The Disappointed" and "Books Are Burning" from Nonsvch.

FEIST has "making of" clips for the videos of "My Moon, My Man" and the dancetastic "1 2 3 4" posted (appropriately enough) in the "videos" section of her website.

THE 15 BEST SONGS about dancing with yourself, with plenty of embedded video, courtesy of Cracked magazine.

THE SMITHS:  London's Observer looks at the influence of the band 25 years after Steven Patrick Morrissey met Johnny Maher.

CAJUN DANCE PARTY isn't Cajun music, but these British teens have been tagged as a "band to watch" by Stereogum for their new single, "The Next Untouchable."  OTOH, Neu! prefers "Amylase Disco," which for some reason is not among the tracks streaming from TheirSpace.

PHIL SPECTOR:  The prosecution in the former hit producer's murder trial of moved into high gear Thursday, presenting two witnesses who recounted the music producer's actions on the night that ended in the death of actress Lana Clarkson.

WE HAD JOY, WE HAD FUN... until Terry Jacks came along, anyway.

WILCO:  The Pitch (of Kansas City) runs dueling reviews of Sky Blue Sky, which you can still stream in full over the weekend via Spinner.

THE 25 MOST EXQUISITELY SAD SONGS in the Whole World, with plenty of streaming audio... and debate by the commenters at Spinner.  Indeed, the site felt compelled to follow up with the Readers' Top 15 Write-Ins, again with streaming audio. 

THE AVETT BROTHERS is Paste magazine's Band of the Week; the mag says other reviewers have called the band's music everything from "post-Civil War modern rock" to "grungegrass."  But if you want to know what that means, you can stream a few tracks, including one from the band's album due next week.

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES reveal their most recent music purchases.

THE CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: 13th Floor Elevators - You're Gonna Miss Me; ? & The Mysterians - 96 Tears; The Merton Parkas - Band of Gold; Guided By Voices - It's Like Soul, Man; I'm From Barcelona - We're From Barcelona; They Might Be Giants - Why Does the Sun Shine (Live); Devo - Come Back Jonee; ELO - Dont Bring Me Down; Journey - Anyway You Want It; Glen Campbell - Wichita Lineman; Isley Brothers - Hello It's Me; The Band - The Weight; Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey - The Child In You; Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend; Led Zeppelin - Black Dog; Sleater-Kinney - You're No Rock 'n Roll Fun; The Who - Bargain (Live 1971); The Replacements - Answering Machine; and the hidden track.

JOHNNY DEPP didn't mention those wedding rumors, but what he told the UK's Mirror about his daughter's bout with the E. coli bug won't dampen them, either: "It was a reminder to us of how lucky we are to be able to breathe, walk, talk, think and surround ourselves with people we love."

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's wide releases are: the Lindsay Lohan-Jane Fonda drama Georgia Rule, currently scoring 21 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; the "infected" zombie sequel 28 Weeks Later, currently scoring 71 percent; Larry the Cable Guy's Delta Farce, which shockingly was unscreened for critics; and Zach Braff and Amanda Peet in The Ex, which is scoring 20 percent (and only 8 percent among the "cream of the crop" critics).  So the real question will be how much Spidey 3 makes this weekend.

BRITNEY SPEARS has been wearing wigs in public - but one of her backup dancers says the pop tart's buzz cut looks great.  Though saying that may be a tactful way to deflect Spears's initation for the dancers to cut their hair.

OVEREXPOSED:  Spears, the French Hotel, and Fed-Ex top a list of the most overexposed celebrities.  Which suggests going around in public without panties is the definition of overexposed.  Forbes has a slideshow of the winners/losers.

DAVID HASSELHOFF:  A former nanny could be the smoking gun in The Hoffs's custody battle for his kids after his attorneys persuaded her to come forward with tales about his ex-wife's drug use.

BRADGELINA:  Though Jolie has been complaining about the paparazzi again, she goes on a charm offensive with Reader's Digest, opening up about her relationship with Pitt why she decided to adopt a fourth child, and more.  Embedded audio at the link.  And there are more excerpts at the Celebrity Baby Blog.

JENNIFER LOPEZ has reportedly beefed up security in response to ugly threats on her life from an animal-rights extremist.

LINDSAY LOHAN was showing off the new man on her arm -- British TV personality Calum Best -- at NYC hot spot Tenjune Wednesday night.

CAMERON DIAZ calls her last couple of years "hell" and "so hard," not to mention the prejudice against pretty actresses.  And you thought you had it tough?  Ha!  Try being a wealthy model-turned-actress and dating Justin Timberlake.  It's enough to drive you to watch two topless beauties "rub slime on each other" at a racy NYC sex show.

TAMMY FAYE MESSNER seems to be knockin' on Heaven's Door.

JANE FONDA was all over Stephen on The Colbert Report.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON and JESSICA BIEL are both interested in Ryan Reynolds?  It's good to be Ryan Reynolds!  BONUS:  Someone needs to help Scar-Jo with her recent fashion choices.

MICHAEL MOORE is under investigation by the US Treasury Department for taking ailing Sept. 11 rescue workers to Cuba for a segment in his upcoming health-care movie Sicko, according to the AP.  As Moore undoubtedly wants to tout that fab Cuban heathcare system, I'm guessing he did not take them to the cockroach-infested Julio Trigo Hospital in Arroyo Naranjo, near Havana.  Or any of the hospitals on this list.  And he probably won't mention the way the Castro regime suppressed the existence of a raging epidemic of dengue fever in the spring and summer of 1997.

GLOBAL WARMING has a powerful new foe -- News Corp. mogul Rupert Murdoch.  No, really.

HAMAS MOUSE UPDATE:  A Hamas-run television channel has defied a Palestinian government request to axe a controversial children's cartoon in which a Mickey Mouse look-alike preaches Islamic dominion and "armed resistance" to children.  Here's the sample video, icymi yesterday.

IRAN has constructed a new clandestine network for acquiring nuclear technology that may be larger than the nuclear-parts trafficking network run by A.Q. Khan, creator of Pakistan's atomic bomb, according to a new report by the International Institute for Strategic Studies, a respected London-based think tank.  Amir Taheri catalogs the economic issues that spell trouble for Mr. Ahmadinejad's struggling presidency.  That article starts with a reference to Ahmadinejad's Islamic Moral Brigades clashing with groups of young Iranians on the streets of Tehran and other major cities over the government's crackdown on "immodest dress," which you can see on video, along with a clip of a woman fighting back.

IRAQ:  A majority of Iraqi lawmakers endorsed a bill calling for a timetable for the withdrawal of foreign troops and demanding a freeze on the number of foreign troops already in the country, though that majority may not hold up, with Kurdish lawmaker Mahmoud Othman claiming deception.  The parliament's planned vacation and general disarray suggest that it may have as much trouble passing a timetable as it does anything else.  The uproar at the last link was precipitated by the security situation in Diyala; the good news there is that Arab tribesmen in Baqubah have said they will form a tribal alliance to cleanse Diyala of foreign fighters and those of the al-Qaeda terrorist network in Iraq.

WHEN LIZARDS ATTACK:  Why we love live local TV news... and the Tube.

GRIZZLY BEAR and MOOSE fight to the death in an Alaskan driveway.  Pic and a link for Tube video at the link.

POPPY the ST. BERNARD had a litter of 13 healthy puppies; awww...some pic at the link.  I'm very "circle of life" today.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:  The amazing albino hedgehog.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  A militant squirrel attacked two mothers and a girl in a first-grade classroom in San Jose, Cali., including the devious running up the pants leg maneuver.

A BUDGIE is believed to have been smuggled into the maximum-security Portlaoise Prison in Ireland by a female visitor who concealed the bird internally in her body.

BEN GIBBARD of Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service covers Nirvana's "All Apologies."  The fine folks at Stereogum can hook you up with video of new songs.

ARCTIC MONKEYS frontman Alex Turner talks to the Toronto Star about the heavier sound on the band's sophomore LP, Favourite Worst Nightmare, and says a third album is already partially written.  The lads stopped by The Current the other day, so you can stream a mini-set via MPR on demand.

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT:  His Release the Stars album comes out next Tuesday, but you can stream the whole thing now via VH1.

TELEVISION:  Richard Lloyd says he will make his final appearance with the band June 16th at NYC's Central Park SummerStage.

JACK LOGAN'S homemade debut, Bulk -- comprised of 42 songs, arranged in nine LP-style "sides" on two CDs -- is this week's "Shadow Classic" at NPR.  And rightly so. Though I wish you could stream "New Used Car and a Plate of Bar-B-Que," it turns out you can download samples of every track from Logan's website.

CHART FLASHBACK:  Entertainment Weekly counts down Billboard's Top 10 for the week ending May 8, 1982.  It's the good, the bad, and the ugly, including "We Got the Beat" from the Go-Go's and Tommy Tutone's "867-5309( Jenny)," though EW's Whitney Pastorek puts in a good word for the Blink-182 cover.  Gotta say the live Go-Go's clip rawks, too.

CAT POWER:  Chan Marshall tells Paper magazine (among other things) about kissing Jude Law and how the movie V for Vendetta indirectly made her a face of Chanel.

COVERS:  My Old Kentucky Blog is streaming well over a dozen versions of the Beatles classic, "Come Together" as well as Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower."  This combo seems to have caused hosting problems for Dodge; if you ahve problems at MKOB you can always jukebox the lot via the ol' HM.

ON THE PITCHFORK:  Stephen King likes the upcoming Ryan Adams album; Okkervil River's new album, Stage Names, is due August 7th; and The Go! Team has a new album due September 10th, though without a US label (how can that be?)

THE GRATEFUL DEAD:  The estate of Lawrence "Ram Rod" Shurtliff, the band's road manager, who died of lung cancer last year at 61, auctioned 115 lots of Jerry Garcia's treasure and junk for over a million bucks.

THE FRENCH HOTEL, who had retained famed criminal defense lawyer Howard Weitzman has hired famed DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton, who is the likely author of her latest spin about not wanting to be treated worse because she's a celeb.  But here's piece of free legal advice -- stop driving your car after being handed a jail sentence for violating a driving ban.  IDLY has started a "No Clemency" petition to CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Gossip bloggers tell the Canadian Press that the celebutante may be more despised than O.J. Simpson.  I would not go that far in terms of intensity, but she probably does have fewer supporters.

BRITNEY SPEARS reportedly plans to boost her ailing career by performing with the late Marilyn Monroe on previously unreleased Marilyn song called "Down Boy" -- the rights to which were secured by former *NSYNC-er Lance Bass.  No, not that Lance.  Meanwhile, Fed-Ex is not impressed with the pop tart's new bf, musician Howie Day.

ROSIE O'DONNELL wants to host The Price is Right, but no one has offered it to her; sources say retiring host Bob Barker "is adamant that Rosie not get the gig."

NATALIE PORTMAN is touring around Silicon Valley in search of funding for a continuous video feed of her work and personal life.

JOHNNY DEPP seems set to finally wed longtime galpal Vanessa Paradis this summer; their daughter Lily-Rose's recent illness has "spurred them into action," a source tells the Daily Mail.

LINDSAY LOHAN'S love-hate relationship with the paparazzi must be on "hate" at the moment, if the June issue of Radar magazine is any indicator.  Lohan's mother, otoh, has almost joined the paps, as she landed a gig interviewing celebrities on the red carpet of Georgia Rules for Entertainment Tonight.  Li-Lo's lawyers are demanding that England's News of the World produce a videotape they claim shows her snorting cocaine.

PENELOPE CRUZ and JOSH HARTNETT, back from a tryst in Turks and Caicos, have been spotted with Lenny Kravitz and Helena Christensen, respectively.

ROBERT RODRIGUEZ is following Grindhouse with a return to the family market; the director is in talks to direct movie versions of The Jetsons and Land of the Lost.

CATE BLANCHETT, thankfully, seems to have been the victim of bad photography, not the Skeletor diet.

TIM ROTH and LIV TYLER have joined Ed Norton and his hair in the cast of the next Hulk movie.

TOM SIZEMORE, still on probation for a drug conviction, was arrested again after police found what seemed like methamphetamine in his car.

MICKEY MOUSE was used by Hamas militants to broadcast their message of Islamic dominion and "armed resistance" to children.  Here's a sample video.  However, publicity -- including Walt Disney's only surviving child calling Hamas "pure evil" for mocking Mickey -- has caused the Palestinian information minister to pull the program from Al Aqsa TV for "review."  BTW, this sort of brainwashing is nothing new for Palestinian Authority TV.

TERROR in the UK:  Four people have been arrested in connection with the 7/7 suicide bomb attacks on London, according to Scotland Yard.

IRAN:  The head of the parliament's Energy Commission wants to delay rationing gasoline until September, as the technology to enforce the rationing is not ready.

IRAQ:  The local papers are carrying reports on the Sadrist Current's plans to break from the governing Shia bloc, distance itself from sectarian killings, and  "cleanse" the ranks of the movement from members who committed criminal acts, who have double loyalties, or who do not commit to the political agenda of the central leadership.  Grain of salt, at least about clenaingup their act.  The Sunni bloc led by Iraq's VP is also threatening to bolt unless the gov't makes swift progress on barring partition of the country and cracking down on the Shia militias.  Coalition Forces detained 13 suspected terrorists Monday and Tuesday during raids around Iraq targeting al-Qaeda, foreign fighter facilitators and a chemical vehicle-borne improvised explosive device network.  Iraq security forces captured 86 suspected insurgents during raids inside Baghdad.  Another 15 AQ operatives were captured during separate raids in Balad, Hillah, Fallujah and near Taji.  Iraqi soldiers captured 4 insurgents near Mosul who had placed over 300 pounds of explosives under an oil pipeline to Turkey.  Eli Lake of the NY Sun sits in on an Iraqi interrogation.

CHIMPS are being injected with a form of the protein called neuropsin, which plays a role in learning and memory, and is expressed only in the central nervous system of humans.  This will not end well.

GIRAFFES don't invade your home, so don't invade theirs.

ARCTIC SEAL UPDATE:  The bearded seal that made its way to Florida's Intercoastal Waterway has passed away at SeaWorld.

A BLACK BEAR triggers a school lockdown near New Haven, CT.  The staff at West Woods School on West Todd Street in Hamden saw the bear in a yard across the street, being chased by two golden retrievers.

A LIVE TOAD in your bag of salad?  Well, maybe if you're lucky.  Pic at the link.

LITTLE BARRIE put a British pop spin on American blues forms, not unlike an update of some British Invasion bands.  My picks to click would be "Love You" and the older, Stax-influenced "Free Salute," but they have a few more streaming at TheirSpace, and even more are on the ol' HM at the moment.

WILCO:  Pitchfork interviews frontman Jeff Tweedy about (among other things) the collaborative nature of Sky Blue Sky, which is due next week, but is streaming from Spinner this week.  ALSO:  The band will be playing on a Prairie Home Companion this weekend.

NICK CAVE talks with The Japan Times about the "impotent rage" behind his latest group Grinderman, his fetish for violence and how Kylie Minogue killed his career in the land of the rising sun.

FEIST has a live broadband session streaming via AOL Canada.  (Thanks, Chromewaves.)

COCOROSIE have been arrested, resultting in the cancellation of the rest of their North American tour.

KEREN ANN talks to Time magazine about her songs and building an international fanbase: "It's great doing it the old-fashioned way... Touring and touring and touring."  You can stream her languid pop via HerSpace.

FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE will be touring with the reunited Squeeze and Crowded House this summer after getting chummy with Glenn Tilbrook, according to Spinner, which also has more on Crowded House.  The Fountains have been posting their old videos on the Tube, including their oh-so-new-wavey clip for "Denise."

RYAN ADAMS has settled on the track listing for his ninth studio album, Easy Tiger, due June 26 via Lost Highway.

THE PONYS:  The Chicago quartet visited The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream from MPR on demand. 

NEIL YOUNG and RICK JAMES were in the same band in the mid-'60s -- Spinner has the backstory.

THE PHIL SPECTOR TRIAL:  There was no testimony Tuesday, but on Monday, former assistant Dianne Ogden testified that the producer put a weapon to her head and forced her to stay when she tried to leave his home after a 1989 party.  Spector's colorful defense attny, Bruce Cutler, must be over his health issues, as he was in full dramatic form, earning a reprimand from the judge on cross-examination.

THE FRENCH HOTEL is urging her fans to join her in a desperate plea to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to keep her out of jail.  I can think of few things more likely to boost the Governator's popularity than denying the celebutante a pardon.  The heirhead has reunited with PR flack Elliot Mintz and spent Monday night at attorney Robert Shapiro's "Sober Day USA" event on the Paramount Studios lot in L.A.

GEORGE MICHAEL pleaded guilty to a charge of driving while unfit through drugs, admitting he was in the unusual situation of being ashamed of something he had done.`  I guess he was proud of trying to pick up that undercover cop in the rest stop bathroom.

PRINCE will play 21 concerts in London this autumn and plans to take time off music to study the Bible.  A PR company helping to publicize the tour said Prince would be performing his greatest hits "for the very last time," but the artist did not confirm the claim.  Indeed, Prince said he planned to change his show every night, including a possible cameo from Amy Winehouse.

AMY WINEHOUSE, btw, is rumored to be in the running as a "Bond" girl, as 007 producer Barbara Broccoli is a fan of the singer.

PAULA ABDUL hired a "personal life coach" to get her through the downward spiral that began when she lost a multimillion-dollar deal for her own fragrance and cosmetics line by taking a personal call on her cell phone during a meeting with the company's chief execs, according to the National Enquirer.

SPIDER-MAN 4:  Sony Pictures chief executive Michael Lynton tells the BBC: "Everybody has every intention of making a fourth, a fifth and a sixth and on and on" and that there would be "as many as we can make good stories for."  But there's the rub.  Kirsten Dunst doesn't want to strap on the padded bra without director Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire.  For his part, Maguire has said it depends on if there's a story worth telling.  Sony is reportedly interested in a fourth flick with The Lizard and Carnage as villains, with or without Raimi.

LINDSAY LOHAN has been forced to assure friends and family that photographs allegedly showing her snorting cocaine in a nightclub toilet are fake.

JESSICA SIMPSON tells Extra that she is naturally brunette: "People don't know that about me... I was really blond as a kid, but then I just started getting darker and darker."  You would think that some, maybe a lot, of people would know that about her... or maybe only her waxer knew for sure.  TMZ has video from the same appearance of Jessica grinding with Eva Longoria.

MELANIE GRIFFITH, with skin tauter than ever, seems to have paid a visit to the trout pout shop.

CATE BLANCHETT, sadly, appears to be the latest actress on the Skeletor Diet.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY talks to London's Observer about Pirates, her post-Pirates career, and perfume, but tries hard not to talk about her weight or love life.

TERROR in the US:  You probably already know that six foreign-born Muslims were arrested and accused Tuesday of plotting to attack Fort Dix and slaughter scores of US soldiers.  The Council on American- Islamic Relations (CAIR) today applauded the bust, but requested that media outlets and public officials refrain from linking this case to the faith of Islam.  Defendant Eljvir Duka was reportedly recorded as saying: ``In the end... when someone ... attacks your religion, your way of life, then you go jihad.''  Defendant, Serdar Tatar allegedly said, "I'm doing it in the name of Allah.''  And the group was busted after they asked a store clerk to copy a video of them firing assault weapons and screaming about jihad.  So it is fair to say that these defendants linked their actions to Islam.  CAIR's attempt to squash any discussion of the topic tends only to remind one of how many CAIR officials have themselves been charged with (and some convicted of) offenses related to the support of Islamic terrorism.

IRAN:  The head of state-run television has said all homegrown drama programs should feature scenes showing characters praying or they will be denied airtime.

IRAQ:  the Pentagon announced the deployment of 35K troops as replacements for others currently operating in Iraq, not any addition to the "surge."  Members of the Iraqi Parliament are miffed that Pres. Bush and assorted Congressfolk are suggesting it's a bad time for them to take a two-month vaction.  The US is letting members of Moqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army continue to guard the most revered Shiite shrine in Baghdad, to avoid diverting resources from other parts of the city where security is worse.  Al-Hayat reports that anti-al Qaeda Sunni groups have finally announced their public opposition to AQ and its "Islamic State of Iraq" front group.  Tribal leaders from the Anbar Salvation Council - having successfully driven out most al-Qaeda elements from Anbar province - are attempting to assume a larger political role over their areas and their interests are colliding with those of the US-appointed governor, who is seen as a dictator.  The L.A. Times reports on improved conditions in Ramadi, where the number of uniformed Iraqi police officers and provincial troops on Ramadi's streets has multiplied to 6,700 from only 200 last July.  Michael Yon files another gritty dispatch with British forces in Basra.

THREE DOGS and a CAT were inducted into the Purina Hall of Fame for feats of bravery and determination that saved lives.

ALEX the GOLDEN RETRIEVER has lawyered up in a custody dispute after his millionaire owner died without a will.

A DRAGON is on the loose in West Palm Beach, Florida.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  A squirrel scratched one child, bit another, and chased the police in Mechanicsburg, PA, before succumbing to the application of deadly force.  The cops took it to the state Department of Agriculture laboratory in Harrisburg for rabies testing, but they may want to check for plague, just to be on the safe side.

CRAFTY OCTOPUS UPDATE:  We now have a picture of the octopus at the National Aquarium of New Zealand, which is able to screw open bottles filled with her favourite crab meat as well as play with her handlers.  Octi's keeper, Libor Mach, said: "She's quite happy to be here because she can actually take the lid off her tank and climb out if she wants."