THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE TURTLES!  First cracking the Top Ten in 1965 with their cover of Bob Dylan's "It Ain't Me, Babe."  they made the Top 30 later that year with the similar-sounding "Let Me Be," written by P.F. Sloan.  Their early 1966 hit, "You Baby," was written by P.F. Sloan and Steve Barri; you may recognize the voice introducing the sync of the band performing on the streets of L.A.  An album cut from the You Baby album, "Outside Chance," was co--written by Warren Zevon.  "Happy Together," rejected by countless performers, became both their biggest hit and their signature song, knocking the Beatles' "Penny Lane" from the No. 1 slot in the Spring of 1967.   The band appeared on the Mike Douglas show to play "Elenore" and the "House on the Hill."  "Elenore," with its unique use of the term et cetera, was a jab at their label for demanding more hits like "Happy Together," but went on to hit the Top ten anyway. For many years after the band dissolved, Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman went by the name Flo & Edde, because their contract barred from using the Turtles name or their own names.  The duo continued to record their own material, but were heard by most adding their trademark harmonies to hits like T. Rex's "Bang A Gong" and Bruce Springsteen's "Hungry Heart."

COLIN MELOY, frontman for The Decemberists, is the guest DJ for the latest installment of All Songs Considered.

FLEET FOXES may boast  '60s folk and antediluvian country influences, but singer-guitarist Robin Pecknold tells The A.V. Club they're not "neo-hippies."  There's a track from the upcoming Ragged Wood album streaming at the link.  The band also did the four free songs thing at Daytrotter.

SHE & HIM:  Zooey Deschanel, actress-turned-indie darling, is profiled in the New York Times.

WEEEZER is streaming a new song, "Pork & Beans," at their webiste.  Very Weezer.

THE FIFTH BEATLE:  Most people forget that brief period when David Lee Roth fronted the Fabs. (slight profanity)

NIGHTMARE OF YOU covers Cheap Trick's "Top of the World" at TheirSpace.  Jangly!

ROGUE WAVE: Zach Rogue talks to DC's Express about dealing with the death of keyboardist Gram LeBron's father, drummer Pat Spurgeon's kidney transplant, his newfound fatherhood, the recruitment of a new bass player, Patrick Abernathy, and the death of former bassist Evan Farrell in a fire.  It also sounds like he might be suffering from eco-anxiety.

RYAN ADAMS sets the record straight on some personal and professional rumors in highlights from his wacky blog excerpted at Stereogum.

THE WORST NO. 1 SONGS OF THE '80'S, according to PopDose, with embedded video.

CUTOUT BIN:  From GbV to JJ Jackson, from Iron & Wine to Sonny & Cher to Sam & Dave, with Queen (and covers) and a hunk o' Cheap Trick, this Friday's fortuitous finds can be jukeboxed or streamed individually on the Pate page at the ol' HM

ASHLEE SIMPSON is still dodging pregnancy rumors, but creepy dad-manager Joe is already trying to sell the baby pictures -- for a million dollars, when the tabloids are thinking more like 60 grand.

NOW SHOWING: This weekend's wide releases include the Jackie Chan-Jet Li flick The Forbidden Kingdom, which is currently scoring 57 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; the Judd Apatow-Jason Siegel comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which is scoring 83 percent, the Al Pacino thriller 88 minutes, scoring 10 percent; and the Ben Stein documentary Expelled, which is scoring 9 percent (albeit on only 11 reviews at the moment).

BRITNEY SPEARS is in negotiations with Bally Total Fitness to be a frontwoman for the company.  Meanwhile, lawyers are collecting a big payday from the travails of the pop wreck.

OPRAH WINFREY may have gone too far in exploiting and distributing the teachings of a questionable New Age writer, as life begins to imitate The Onion.

DEATH & THE CITY:  Did Cynthia Nixon let a spoiler for the Sex & The City movie out of the bag?

OLLIE JOHNSON, the last of the classic Disney animation team known as the Nine Old Men, has died at the age of 95.  Tons of tributes and links at CartoonBrew, including one from Brad Bird -- who put animated versions of Johnson and pal Frank Thomas in both The Iron Giant and The Incredibles.  Anyone who ever enjoyed Pinocchio, Thumper, Peter & the Wolf, Mr. Smee, Pongo and Perdita, Baloo the Bear, the dancing penguins in Mary Poppins (and many more ) owes a childhood debt to Ollie Johnson.

EMMA WATSON, Hermione in the Harry Potter films, turned 18 on Tuesday, which grants her access to the 20 million bucks she's amassed making the wildly popular film series.  She has taken lessons in money management given by Coutts Bank, which also manages the millions of co-star Daniel Radcliffe... and Queen Elizabeth II.

TILDA SWINTON (Michael Clayton, The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe) wants to be left for the birds when she dies - stretched out on a remote Scottish beach.

SPOCKS SPEAK:  Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto talk to TV Guide about the movie (within strict limits) and the Vulcan experience. ALSO: William Shatner says he never realized until after "Star Trek" ended how disliked he was by the rest of the cast.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK:  Ed Norton writes that there is no dispute among him, Marvel and Universal... but refuses an interview with Entertainment Weekly.

IRON MAN director John Favreau takes you on a video set visit at Yahoo! Movies.  Meanwhile, the Onion News Network has a piece on the wildly popular Iron Man trailer.

TERROR in the UK: Muslim activist Abu Izzadeen has been found guilty of inciting acts of terrorism abroad and fundraising for terrorist purposes.  The principal charges against the eight arose from speeches at Regent's Park Mosque on November 9, 2004.  Six of the eight defendants in the case have now been found guilty of supporting terrorism in some form.

THE STANS: Terrorists are still operating freely in Pakistan along the country's Afghanistan border, despite the US giving Pakistan more than 10.5 billion in military and economic aid, according to a government watchdog agency. The Government Accountability Office says in a report released Thursday that the US lacks a comprehensive plan to deal with the terrorist threat.

IRAN:  Pres. Bush and British PM Gordon Brown jointly pledged to step up efforts to thwart Iran's nuclear enrichment program and work with European leaders to increase sanctions on the country during a press conference outside the White House on Thursday. Rep. Gary Ackerman (D-NY), chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Subcommittee on the Middle East and South Asia, thinks the administration is not doing enough: "Within the next two years, there is a real possibility that Iran will have the means to make an atomic bomb. The reason for this awful truth is that they wanted it more than we wanted to stop them."

IRAQ will open at least six major oil and natural-gas fields for exploration and production in the first bidding for licenses since the US-led invasion in 2003. The main Sunni Muslim political bloc has agreed in principle to return to the Shiite-led government of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki nearly nine months after quitting the Cabinet. Sadrist leaders asserted they refuse to hand over the-Mahdi Army's weapons to the Iraqi govt or dissolve it except if Shiite top clerics gave directives to do that (which they won't, as they don't see that as their job).  A  prominent govt official has asserted that "any member of the armed forces or security organs who rebels against his government and military authority will be punished."  It turns out to be harder to desert than one Iraqi Army captain thought. Michael J. Totten interviews Marine Capt. Quintin Jones, commanding officer at Outpost Delta in the city of Karmah, on working with the Sunni tribal authorities.

OSCAR the NAKED, DANCING COCKATOO:  Twelve years ago, he was given six months to live after developing a beak and feather disease.  Let's go to the video.  Oscar does a pretty mean Mick Jagger.

HAMSTER KILLS MAN:  Richard Gere unavailable for comment.

A SEVEN-FOOT FISH was landed by an Austrian schoolboy on his first ever fishing trip.  Pic at the link.

A SIX-FOOT GATOR was found in the backseat of a car during a traffic stop near Angleton, TX; video at the link.  William Johnson has previously had a water moccasin snake in his car.

GATOR THEFT FOILED: Surveillance video shows five college teens jumping a fence into a pond full of alligators in an attempt to steal one early Thursday morning from a Daytona Beach Shores mini-golf course.  oddly enough, the teens told police they hadn't thought far enough ahead to decide what they would do with an alligator.

ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO has reached a deal to sign with Bruce Springsteen's management company, so it's probably no coincidence that he joined the Boss and the E Streeters in Houston for a live take on "Always A Friend," a track from Escovedo's upcoming Real Animal LP.

RICHARD THOMPSON has canceled his April tour dates after he was bitten by a scorpion during a vacation in Mexico.

HERE COMES SUMMER:  The weather is barely springlike where I am, but The A.V. Club has posted an A/V playlist of summery songs.

IS IT BETTER TO BURN OUT THAN TO FADE AWAY?  Peter Lester tackles rock martyrdom at the Guardian music blog.

PETER MOREN (of Peter Bjorn & John) does the four free songs thing for Daytrotter in support of his solo LP.

BORN RUFFIANS are cooking on "I Need A life."  At least until the farm animals arrive.

THE DARK ANGELS are streaming their new album, Directions to See a Ghost, via iMeem.  Kinda doom-and-gloomy; Kevin Penner would like it.

DeVotchKa singer and multi-instrumentalist Nick Urata shuffles is iPod for the "Random Rules" feature at The A.V. Club.

THE RACONTEURS:  Jack White and Brendan Benson talk about adjusting to a new band on Weekend Edition Sunday, streaming via NPR.

SUB POP: The indie juggernaut is throwing itself quite a 20th birthday party.

ROB LOWE: People magazine, which coincidentally has a photo shoot with Lowe's former nanny-turned- sex harrassment plaintiff, quotes her family describing her as caring, cautious and concerned about the actor's two sons.  In contrats, TMZ quotes sources connected to the case as saying the ex-nanny privately told folks there was mutual flirting going on between her and Rob, but she never mentioned sexual harassment.

ASHLEE SIMPSON:  People magazine joins those claiming that Simpson is pregnant and plans to get married next month.  OK! magazine thinks it has spotted a baby bump.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Crushed by the weight of her marriage to Cruise, Holmes is striking out on her own - and she's determined to take their daughter, Suri, with her to NYC, according the ever reliable Star magazine.

JENNIE GARTH seems to be loading up the truck and moving to Beverly... (Hills that is, swimming pools, 90210 spinoffs.

LINDSAY LOHAN wants to assume a missionary position, according to her ex-con dad. Meanwhile, Li-Lo is dissed by Rupert Grint?  Ouch!

MARILYN MONROE: Defamer has a trio of experts debunking the "sex tape hoax."

GWYNETH PALTROW tells Vogue that she battled post-partum depression after welcoming her second child in 2006.

CAMERON DIAZ has suddenly lost her dad to pneumonia.  He was only 58.

DEBBIE GIBSON has filed for a restraining order against a Spanish man who runs a fan club and has allegedly followed her on concert tours and showed up at her door.

NAOMI CAMPBELL, having been arrested at Heathrow and apparently banned from all British Airways flights, has annouced she is boycotting the airline.  The short-fused supermodel also claims that BA had changed its mind about banning her from its aircraft and was now desperate for her custom.  You can't fire her, she quits!

MARILYN MANSON has almost finished turning his gf Evan Rachel Wood into his ex-wife, Dita Von Teese.

PAKISTAN:  Pakistani security forces killed a senior Taliban commander who became a hero to Islamic militants for his role in shooting down a US helicopter in 2005, killing all 16 special forces troops aboard. A close aide of rebel cleric Mullah Fazlullah has offered to surrender on the condition that security forces and the government grant him amnesty from prosecution.

IRAQ: The NYT's Michael Gordon reports on the desertion of a company of Iraqi soldiers from their outpost in Sadr City, while engaged with the enemy, which is a serious crime.  OTOH, the Iraqi and US military were able to replace unit on short notice, and it appears that Iraqi govt forces are dug in the area.  The Iraqi government is pumping 350 million into Basra, Mosul, and the Al Shula and Sadr City neighborhoods in Baghdad, in an effort to stem violence by producing jobs and reinvigorating social programs.  The aim now is to launch an ambitious plan of 30-day, 60-day, and 90-day public works and services-improvement projects designed to convince the local population that the Iraqi government - and not Sadr's Mahdi Army militia - is best able to improve the quality of life.  MNF-Iraq kicked off the main phase of its first major operation devoted primarily to capacity building - expanding governance, economics and infrastructure - April 15 in communities south of Baghdad in the Baghdad Province.  Iraq's government removed the top military and police commanders in Basra on Wednesday; they were widely respected by US and British military leaders -- which suggests that Prime Minister al-Maliki is scapegoating them for his rush into fighting the Mahdi Army in Basra, which was a PR disaster, though more successful than the early media coverage suggested.

GIN the BORDER COLLIE gots talent.  Even Simon Cowell thinks so.

PAW PAW, Martha Stewart's 60-lb chow, has died of renal failure; he was almost 12.

ORANGUTAN HABITAT is disappearing -- and Girl Scout cookies are to blame.

ROAMING LION found in a Romanian garden.

PYGMY HEDGEHOGS are the hottest pet in the UK.  Awww...some pics at the link.

DAVID BYRNE covers "You Can Call Me Al" and "I Know What I Know" during Paul Simon's week-long residency at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

AUSTIN CITY LIMITS FEST has announced its lineup, including Foo Fighters, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss, Beck, John Fogerty, David Byrne, The Raconteurs, Gnarls Barkley, Conor Oberst And The Mystic Valley Band, Erykah Badu, Robert Earl Keen, Patty Griffin, Tegan & Sara, Okkervil River, Sharon Jones And The Dap Kings, Hot Chip, Vampire Weekend, Duffy, Alejandro Escovedo, Roky Erikson and many, many more...

ISLANDS have leaked two tracks from their upcoming Arm's Way album, "The Arm" and "Creeper."  Word is that another track, "In The Rushes," icorporates the band's take on The Who's "A Quick One (While He's Away)."  BONUS:  Islands has also been known to tackle The Kinks' "Waterloo Sunset."

THE SPRING PREVIEW at Rolling Stone is comprehensively comprehensive, with streaming audio clips. 65 screens.

SPOON frontman Britt Daniel chatted with Pitchfork about a Spoon-related internet rumor, "Arrested Development", Har Mar Superstar vs. the White Stripes, Feist's "My Moon My Man", and why Merge's Mac McCaughan should run for office.

COLIN MELOY opens an in-store gig at Jackpot Records with "We Both Go Down Together."

THE BLAKES, known for their whiskey-tinged guitar riffs, jangly rhythms, and power-pop vocal harmonies, have drummer Bob Husak answer PopMatters' 20 Questions, which also brings you the A/V links.

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Scheff talks to Scoop about pre-modern folk being pomo, as well as the free live covers EP, Golden Opportunities.

WOLF PARADE keyboardist Spence Krug tells Billboard that the upcoming album, tentatively titled Kissing the Beehive, is built with more deliberate approach, evolving out of jams.  The advance track is "Call It A Ritual."

RICK ASTLEY is giving away a gold record from the Netherlands in a contest.  He didn't say he'd never give that up.

ROB LOWE repeatedly exposed himself and inappropriately touched himself and his former nanny, she claims in a lawsuit filed Monday in a Santa Barbara, CA court.  TMZ has video, as does The Today Show, though you have to scroll down to find it.

ASHLEE SIMPSON dodged directly answering the latest pregnancy rumors on MTV's TRL.

BRITNEY SPEARS is threatening to release her video diaries, which chronicle her problems over the past six months.  -  The pop wreck is reportedly planning to release them online - or on MTV.

KATE HUDSON wants to date like a teenager, but realizes that motherhood comes first.  A role model for Jamie Lynn Spears.

HEATHER MILLS was not liked by the Miss USA pageant producers any more than the audience that booed her.

BEYONCE KNOWLES is rumored to be making her final album.  Supposedly, Beyonce plans to spend her days scouting talent for new hubby Jay-Z's upcoming label, The Carter Music Group.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT stars Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Henry Winkler reuinte as voices in AD creator Mitch Hurwitz's new animated Fox comedy "Sit Down, Shut Up."

JASON BEGHE, featured in numerous TV dramas such as "Criminal Minds," "Numb3rs" and "CSI" was a top Scientologist, or "OT 5" - similar to Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley - but he is now calling Scientology "very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health.."  Profanity warning.

BRIGITTE BARDOT, the revolutionary sex kitten of 1960s French cinema, went on trial in FranceTuesday, charged with "inciting racial hatred," and in view of her four previous convictions on similar charges, prosecutors sought exceptionally stiff penalties of 22K and a two month suspended sentence.  The current charge against Bardot was lodged by the Movement Against Racism and for Friendship between Peoples , citing a letter Bardot wrote to French officials in 2004 to protest the ritual slaughter of sheep during the Muslim festival of Eid-al-Kabir.

TERROR in the UK: The man accused of plotting to lead a wave of suicide bomb attacks on transatlantic airliners wanted to tell the world he was acting on the wishes of Osama bin Laden, a court heard yesterday.  The Times of London has the full story and clips from a  "martyrdom video" recorded by Abdullah Ahmed Ali was played in full to the jury at Woolwich Crown Court which is trying him and seven other men on charges of plotting to commit mass murder.

IRAN:  The Financial Times details how Iranians are circumventing US and UN sanctions imposed following the regime's refusal to stop enriching uranium.  Local authorities have destroyed seven ancient synagogues in Tehran.

IRAQ: Differences have emerged between the US and Iraq on how to deal with Shiite militant Muqtada al-Sadr, with the Americans appearing more willing than the Shiite-led government to concede a legitimate political role to the anti-US cleric.  Three weeks after Iraqi troops swarmed into the southern city  to take on armed militiamen who had overrun the streets, many Basra residents say they feel safer and that their lives have improved.  The security situation in Iraq's western Anbar province is now so stable that the US Marines regiment in charge of the area is reducing from five battalions to three.

A COUGAR was gunned down following a police chase in Chicago's Roscoe Village neighborhood.  The local news goes right for criticism from the Chicago Humane Society, though experts said a tranquilizer shot could have made the wildcat more dangerous.  The director of Cook County Animal Care said Tuesday the animal may have come south from Wisconsin in search of food or a mate.  Cougars sometimes seek a mate, though they often are just looking for a good time.

CROC ATTACK VICTIM "very grateful" he was shot by his friend.

PET WHISPERER:  Nope, not that one again, this one -- who uses a psychic connection with anim­als to perform anc­ient reiki healing techniques on injured animals.

CALLIE the LABRADOR:  Is she an impostor, or did she undergo a personality change at the kennel?

GEORGE HARRISON & ERIC CLAPTON: "Taxman" in Tokyo.  Obvs.

NEW RELEASES: Albums from The Kooks, Laura Cantrell, Cloud Cult, Phantom Planet, M83, Brian Scary, The Duke Spirit and more are streaming in full this week via Spinner.  Black Francis has a new mini-LP and only Svn Fngrs.

CANDIE PAYNE is among the British lady singers in a fashion spread for Paper Magazine.  Frank Yang and I share a moment of blog love for Payne at Chromewaves, which will hook you up with the A/V linkage.  Frank notes that the fab Duffy is left out, but she's talking to icWales and the Sydney Morning Herald.

AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB frontman Mark Eitzel talks about the new album and new bandmates with Prefix.

NEW PORNOGRAPHERS frontman AC Newman tells Billboard the next album will be more "rock" and that he's also writing solo material; "On my own records, I'm kind of left to my own devices. That can be both good and bad."  He also talks to Columbus Alive about starting in on new stuff right after the band finishes this tour: "Things change when it becomes your job. There's a lot more to lose now."

RICK ASTLEY:  The Times of London reports that the RickRolling phenomenon continues to spread, most recently hitting London's Liverpool St. station and -- an ocean away -- Mets Stadium.  Astley talks to the Times about the phenom: "Rick Astley brand? I'm not really aware that there is one. I know I'm on YouTube a lot, but that wave will die down and then there will be a headless chicken or something else. It's just the way life is."

KAKI KING played the Abbey Bar for WXPN in Harrisburg, PA, so you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.  She was also profiled by USA Today.

PITCHFORK: London's Guardian revisits the "Pitchfork Effect" of a good or bad review from the influential indie music site: "Wikipedia notes that for Australian band Jet's second album, Shine On, 'Pitchfork Media posted a totally anomalous review containing only a video clip of a chimpanzee urinating in its own mouth.'"  Bon Iver (Justin Vernon) talks to the Times of London about personally feeling the Effect: "That day was insane. It tipped things over the edge. My manager was taking calls in the shower. I'd go for a p*ss and come back to 50 e-mails in my inbox."  The Chicago Tribune watches Pitchfork.tv as part of a new wave of online video that, instead of the catchall model of YouTube, aims for a niche.

BILLY BRAGG talks to the NYDN about whether his new LP shows signs he has mellowed: "I'm 50 now. You have to change. Otherwise, it would be like me always walking around in skateboard clothes. It doesn't go very well with the gray sideburns..."

PETE DOHERTY-KATE MOSS UPDATE!  Just when you thought we were done with all that comes word that the supposedly sober supermodel is sending video messages to the troubled singer in Wormwood Scrubs prison.  Doherty is receiving five-star treatment despite prison overcrowding, angering other lags.

MARILYN MONROE: An illicit copy of a steamy, still-FBI-classified movie reel - 15 minutes of 16mm film footage in which the original blond bombshell performs a lewinsky on an unidentified man - was just sold to a New York businessman for 1.5 million dollars.

ASHLEE SIMPSON is pregnant, according to US and OK! magazines.  Fiancee Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy denied the rumors, telling MTV: "There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood."  Ashlee and pneumatic sister Jessica were not talking to the press.

WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE:  Police have recommended to prosecutors that Richie Sambora be charged with DUI and child endangerment - both as misdemeanors - stemming from his March 25 arrest, says a source close to the case.  Sorces tell TMZ, however, that "a significant number of officers" inside the department feel there's no evidence of child endangerment. There was no smell of alcohol on his breath, and no evidence of dangerous or erratic driving.

GERARD BUTLER (300) vehemently denies that he and Cameron Diaz are hooking up.

HAYDEN PANETIERRE has confessed becoming a star as the Heroes cheerleader has turned her into a virtual recluse.

MEGAN FOX will be topless and have a catfight in her underwear in the upcoming Jennifer's Body.  Bitten & Bound reminds us that Fox is aptly named.  Call it Gratuitous Tuesday.

VANITIES GIRLS:  Vanity Fair has a slideshow of the up-and-coming actresses' 50s-style pinup shots the mag has run since 2006, including Kristen Bell in the May issue. Call it Gratuitous Twofer Tuesday.

THE STANS: Al Qaeda and the Taliban on the Afghan-Pakistani border are increasingly facing pressure on two fronts and they can be squeezed with more coordination between the neighbors, US Assistant Secretary of State Richard Boucher told a news conference in Kabul. on Monday.

IRAN:  The nation's most senior dissident cleric has lashed out at the country's ruling Islamic establishment, accusing it of imposing dictatorship and violating the rights of its people in the name of Islam.  A top Iranian official on Sunday abruptly canceled a meeting with the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, dealing a blow to the UN monitor's efforts to investigate allegations that Iran tried to make nuclear arms, an agency official said.  The US and Iran have been conducting secret back-channel discussions on Tehran's nuclear program and frozen relations between the two countries for the past five years, The Independent reported Monday.  However, the US State Dept was equally emphatic that the talks described in the article were "not a government activity," but instead "a set of private discussions."

IRAQ: US and Iraqi forces plan to stay put in a southern sector of Baghdad's Sadr City where they are battling militiamen rather than push deeper into the Shiite bastion, a top US general said on Monday.  "My aim is to push the 107-mm rockets out of range," Gen. Jeffrey Hammond told a group of journalists.  However, the Iraqi govt has committed to wresting Sadr City from the control of Shia militias, an Iraqi government spokesman and a US military spokesman said in a press briefing Sunday in Baghdad.  Humanitarian and reconstruction aid to Sadr City and other Shia neighborhoods have been committed in the wake of operations. Refugees International claims in a new report that the Iraqi govt's inability to provide basic services for its displaced citizens has attracted the attention of Sunni and Shiite militias, who are stepping in to provide food, oil, electricity, clothing and money. Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr is demanding the Iraqi govt reinstate all security forces fired for deserting during fighting in Basra.  A chief of a renegade group of Mahdi army militia reiterated on Monday their rejection to handing heavy weapons over to government forces, noting his movement arms would be "stashed to fight the occupier."

COWS stare unamazed as dairy farmer Rob Taverner performs Tai Chi in front of them every morning to get them in the right moo-d to produce lots of milk.

NEWBORN BROWN BEAR CUBS seen in Stockholm.  Awww...

GOOSEANDER CHICK climbs on its mom's back when it tires of swimming.  Awww...

MILLIPEDE INVASION causes three villages in north-west Scotland to impose a wartime-style "blackout."

MONKEY CHEWED COFFEE:  De-Lish!  Story and video at the link.

THE FEELIES are reuniting for a free show with Sonic Youth in NYC's Battery Park on July 4th.  Fireworks!  Glenn Mercer talked to Gothamist about his solo album and mentions the reunion, which sounds like maybe more than one show.  In the meantime, dig the newly-unearthed clip for "Sooner or Later" along with "Away."  The latter was directed by Jonathan Demme, who gave the band a cameo playing "Fame" at the high school reuinion in Something Wild.

FEIST & THE CONSTANTINES have released a cover of "Islands in the Stream" you can stream at the link.  Plus, can someone tell Feist how to get to Sesame Street to play (what else) "1 2 3 4?"

AMERICAN MUSIC CLUB stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

LOLLAPALOOZA is streaming a 2008 Playlist via nuTsie.

LAURA BARTON & COLIN MELOY are writing a song together, but they could use your help with the rest of the lyrics.  Meloy also talks a bit about his songwriting method at the first link.

GNARLS BARKLEY hit the Peacock the other night with "Run" and "Who's Gonna Save My Soul."  Don't tell the lawyers.

LIZ PHAIR talks to Billboard about the new Exile in Guyville reissue and returning to Indieville.

KATHLEEN EDWARDS dropped by Portlan's WMEA for a chat and mini-set on Day to Day, streaming now via NPR.  She also talks to DC's Express about the influences of Canada and classical training.

LAST.FM: Their free streaming radio service is leading to increased revenue for its partners, including Amazon and iTunes.

ORIGINAL PSYCH POSTER ART from Wes Wilson and Rick Griffin, who became inextricably linked with the biggest acts on the West Coast music scene, are going to be available to buy when the vast rock art collection of Peter Golding, a British fashion designer and musician, comes up for sale at Bonhams in New York next month.  Griffin's 6ft high Flying Eyeball canvas -- considered to be one of the most iconic works of the Fillmore era -- is estimated to sell for up to 350K (£178,000).

BRITNEY SPEARS drove her 2008 Mercedes into the back of a 2006 Nissan Saturday night - but cops say she was dead sober when it happened.  Meanwhile Neil Patrick Harris is "clarifying" his remarks that he would prefer that the popwreck not return to CBS's sitcom How I Met Your Mother.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, Britney's barely 17-year-old knocked-up sister, got elbowed in the kisser while attending a drunken teen party with fiance Casey Aldridge on April 5th, according to the ever-reliable National Enquirer.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Scary news; the remake of Prom Night tops the box office with 22.7 million, about what Disturbia did about a year ago.  Street Kings debuted a distant second at 12 million, forcing last week's top four into 3-7, though 21 dropped a mere 28 percent.  Smart People opened an anemic seventh with 4.2 million.  The Ruins, Superhero Movie and Drillbit Taylor bring up the rear.

AMY WINEHOUSE snorted cocaine at a party last week with Sir Bob Geldof's teen daughter Pixie just a few feet away, according to the uber-reliable News of the World.

LILY ALLEN admitted she was in the men's restroom at a London nightclub, but is pissed off about the claims that she was booted out of the club with Johnny Borrell for using the men's bathroom.

ALICIA KEYS is fan of the Black Panthers and a conspiracy theorist, maintaining that the bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fuelled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

VANILLA ICE was released from jail Friday following his arrest on a charge of simple battery for allegedly pushing his wife.  In 2004, he was booked into the Broward County Jail on a domestic battery charge. He also spent a night in jail in 2001 after being arrested following a domestic dispute.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Heather Mills was booed as a Miss USA judge when introduced Friday night in Las Vegas.  That was after going on British TV and wishing Sir Paul's three girlfriends the best of luck.

CATE BLANCHETT and husband Andrew Upton welcomed their third son, Ignatius Martin Upton, into the world yesterday.

WHAT CELEBS EARN, courtesy of Parade magazine.  Miley Cyrus (a/k/a Hannah Montana) makes twice as much as Jessica Alba, but much less than Tiger Woods.

KATE MOSS has been invited in from the cold to front a new campaign for the lingerie firm Agent Provocateur.  Pics at the link.  Call it Gratuitous Monday.

STAR TREK:  Mr. Sulu sings "On the Road Again" on a TV show cancelled after one airing.  Makes Shatner sound good.  ALSO: "Red Shirts" -- the Harsh, Statistical Truth!

GLOBAL WARMING:  One of the most influential scientists behind the theory that global warming has intensified recent hurricane activity says he will reconsider his stand.

TERROR in the UK:  British police and security agencies are currently monitoring 30 terrorism plots, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said in extracts of an interview in Sunday's News of the World.  "We task the police and the security agencies with protecting us ... There are 22000 individuals they are monitoring. There are 200 networks. There are 30 active plots," she said.

IRAN:  Three speed boats of unidentified origin approached a US patrol boat as it transited the Gulf but stopped after a warning flare was fired, a US Navy spokesman said. In January, tensions between the two countries escalated after Iranian speed boats swarmed around three US warships transiting the Strait of Hormuz.

IRAQ:  The battle against the Mahdi Army is finally hit its stride in Sadr City. Fighting between Shiite militiamen and security forces in Sadr City eased on Sunday after a week of intense clashes, with hospitals in the Baghdad slum saying they had received no dead or wounded overnight.  Iraq's government moved Sunday to restore discipline within the ranks of the security forces, sacking more than 1300 soldiers and policemen who deserted during recent fighting against Shiite militias in Basra.  Tribal leaders in southern Iraq are starting to push back against Iranian-supported militias in Basra, cracking their hold over the economically crucial province, Gen. Petraeus and Amb. Crocker told reporters.

RADHA the SELF-MILKING COW:  We have not one, but three videos.

A LUCKLESS FARMER who was been married three times has decided to try his hand at marriage one last time - with a goat.  Bulgarian Stoil Panayotov, exchanged his third wife with Elena the eight-year-old goat at a livestock market in March - because she couldn't provide him with a child.  I'm not sure that is the solution.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  The Fall frontman Mark E. Smith is under investigation by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals after claiming he killed two endangered red squirrels in an interview with Uncut magazine.

IGUANA SMUGGLING?  A Californian man faces jail after being convicted of smuggling stolen rare iguanas into the US inside his prosthetic leg, justice officials said Friday.  However, the jury rejected charges that he stole the iguanas while visiting Fiji in September 2002.

THE LION CANNOT DRIVE, but that doesn't keep him out of the race.