THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE: 

...with THE BAND!  The Last Waltz, billed as a "farewell" concert after 16 years of touring, found The Band joined by special guests, including Eric Clapton, Neil Diamond, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Van Morrison, Ringo Starr, Muddy Waters, Dr. John, and Neil Young.  Last week, at Glide magazine's Hidden Track blog, Ace Cowboy celebrated the 31st anniversary of the show by collecting 18 Tubed clips from Martin Scorsese's 1978 documentary, which features concert performances, scenes shot on a studio soundstage and interviews by Scorsese with members of The Band.  Surprisingly, the Wikipedia entry for the show is pretty good place to start for more background on the concert and the movie.

LEVON HELM, who did not care much for the movie, and who recently released his first solo record in over 25 years, has been hosting "Midnight Rambles" at his place in Woodstock, NY since 2004, to help defray his medical costs upon recovering from throat cancer.  Helm's band plays a number of these gigs, but there are special guests: "You never know who's going to show up!"  A review of a recent Ramble at JamBase pointed me toward a Finnish indie roots-rock combo, Eero Raittinen and the Noisy Kind of Men -- Eero, it turns out is 60, while the others are much younger.  His "friends" include John Hammond, Barrance Whitfield, the White Stripes, Los Lobos, James Hunter and the Fabulous Thunderbirds.  An even more recent Ramble incvluded The Felice Brothers, who grew up in Palenville, about 20 minutes' drive from Woodstock, and have drawn critical acclaim for the Americana sound of their debut album, as well as a profile in London's Guardian.

BEST of 2007:  Harp magazine's Top 50 is discussed at the 'Gum.

SHARON JONES and the DAP-KINGS:  Ms. Jones and Gabriel "Bosco Mann" Roth, co-founder of Daptone Records and bass player for The Dap-Kings, have an interview, songs and remixes from Fresh Air streaming on demand via NPR.

MORRISSEY plans to sue the NME after it failed to apologize for an article focusing on his views on immigration, much of which is reprinted in the Telegraph.  There's more backstory -- and the NME cover -- at Drowned In Sound.

QUEEN releases its first new recording in 10 years today and that it will be available for free on its website.

HOW THE 'NET KILLED THE MUSIC BIZ?  Wired magazine's profile of Universal Music Group CEO Doug Morris has New York magazine's Vulture blog shocked at the tech illiteracy of the industry moguls.  At the HuffPo, fmr Reprise Records pres. Howie Klein tries to explain that cluelessness was based on "expert" opinion.

JOE JACKSON digs us!  Actually, Jackson likely has no knowledge of Pate's existence.  But we got nice e-mail from his people, who must be on top of their Internet game to notice we mentioned his upcoming album, Rain, yesterday.  And because flattery will get you everywhere, Friday seems like a good day to watch Joe Jackson & William Shatner cover Pulp's "Common People," with Ben Folds on keyboards.

JOHN FOGERTY talks to Pitchfork and the Mpls. Star-Tribune about his latest album, Revival, and the the state of the world.  He has also penned a piece on reclaiming his voice for Newsweek.

MIDNIGHT OIL: Former frontman Peter Garrett continued his long, strange tour from pop star to politician Thursday when he was named Australia's environment minister.  Garrett made his first foray into politics with an unsuccessful bid for the Senate as a member of the Nuclear Disarmament Party in 1984.  He was elected to Parliament in 2002 and enjoyed a meteoric rise through the Labor Party ranks, being immediately appointed as an opposition spokesman on the arts and Aboriginal affairs.  Yet the move is widely considered a demotion for Garrett, who served as the opposition spokesman for both the environment and climate change prior to Saturday's election.

THE REDWALLS did a session at Daytrotter; sadly, none of the songs are new.  But I feel slightly guilty about not writing more about a local (to Chicago) treasure.

EMI's new management is considering cutting its contributions to the IFPI and RIAA as wasteful spending.  At a conference all for investors, Warner Music Group had "no comment" on whether they would follow EMI.  The Financial Times claims that this could same the major labels money, but "would also saddle each company with greater responsibility to lobby regulators and police pirates, among other crucial tasks."  That's not entirely true; the  majors could wake up and decide that better talent, marketing and technology are better solutions to their ills than the coercion of the law.

CREEM magazine is paid tribute in a new book featuring work from Lester Bangs, Nick Tosches, Dave Marsh, Dave DiMartino, Ben Edmonds, Chuck Eddy and the young Cameron Crowe.  The book spawned a lawsuit and a fight at the launch party.

CUTOUT BIN:  This Friday's fortuitous finds from the ol' HM are: Sam Spence & John Facenda - November; Big Star - Thank You Friends; Sly & The Family Stone - Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin); The Beatles - '63 Fan Club Xmas 45; Bob Dylan - The Man In Me; The Redwalls - Build A Bridge; Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes; Belle And Sebastian - White Collar Boy; Art Brut - Emily Kane; Ben Folds - In Between Days (Cure); Dinosaur Jr. - Just Like Heaven (Cure); Apostle of Hustle - I Want A New Drug (H. Lewis - sorta); Dean and Britta - Words You Used To Say; The Velvet Underground - Train Round The Bend; Cat Power - I Found A Reason (Velvet Underground); Nico - I'll Keep It With Mine; The Raveonettes - The Beat Dies (new); Diana Ross & The Supremes - Stoned Love; Spoon - You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb; Soft Cell - Tainted Love; Eric Burdon & The Animals - Spill The Wine; Percy Mayfield - Right On, Young Americans; Neil Diamond - Solitary Man; Richard Hawley - Long Black Train; Blondie - Union City Blues; Tommy Keene - Places That Are Gone;  Drug Rug - Day I Die; Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze; and Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love.

BRITNEY SPEARS currently pays 15k in monthly support, but the pop tart may have to pony up more now that Fed-Ex has primary custody of their two sons.  BTW, a new kids' Christmas poll has Spears and the French Hotel beating the Grinch on the "naughty" list.

NOW SHOWING:  This weekend's only new wide release at the cineplex is the psychological thriller Awake, which stars Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen, which has not been screened widely for critics.  Ouch.

ANDY GARCIA hailed his niece's slain boyfriend, NFL star Sean Taylor, as a ''free safety until the end'' who showed bravery in the last moments of his life to protect his family.

JESSICA SIMPSON seems to have visited the trout pout shop again.

GYLLENSPOON joined the Mile High Club?  The pair allegedly spent more than ten-minutes together inside an airplane bathroom during a trip from Frankfurt, Germany, to Los Angeles.

JOHN TRAVOLTA was spotted in a cheap Koreatown men's spa in L.A. that has been overrun by a slew of gay men cruising in the steam room and clay room, according to the uber-reliable L.A. Rag Mag.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise hits the snooze button at Germany's Bambi Awards.

ELLE MACPHERSON was... wait for it... caught canoodling BRYAN ADAMS at a private party in Bryan's London home on Tuesday night after the launch of his new photo exhibition.

PAM ANDERSON is talking retirement: "Five more years of (T&A), and I'll go back to Canada," the British Columbia native says. "I've got some land. It'll be time."

BRADGELINA:  Pitt has vowed not to film any more nude scenes - because he doesn't want his kids to see them.  He's also looking toward retirement: "I figure I've got very few films left. Who knows how many I'll get to do now, so I want to do something I'm interested in. Otherwise, I don't want to bother. I think it's a younger person's game."

GWYNETH PALTROW & CHRIS MARTIN:  Rumors of marital woes are "absolutely not true," according to Paltrow's rep.

TARA REID -- having gone from American cutie pie to boozy floozy -- is hosting a 'Hookers Ball' in Darwin, Australia this weekend.

KIM KARDASHIAN:  The police reportedly don't believe her claim that a thief stole 50K worth of valuables while she was being mobbed by fans at JFK airport.

DEBBIE GIBSON had some work done, and now looks like Owen Wilson.

ANGELA KINSEY of The Office blogs that she probably won't do a lot of press during her pregnancy, but she will be doing  yoga with costar Jenna Fisher, who is still recovering from her back injury this past summer.

NATALIE PORTMAN did an exclusive "screentest" for the launch of the NYT's new T magazine.  As it's Friday, I recommend taking a drink every time Portman says "like."

ADRIANA LIMA's lingerie fitter has the best job ever?  Possibly, if you don't have to wear what he's wearing, which is so weird that I noticed it in a picture of Adriana Lima being fitted for lingerie.  Yes, it's Gratuitous Friday.

TEDDY BEAR JIHAD:  British teacher Gillian Gibbons has been convicted of inciting religious hatred for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Muhammad and sentenced to 15 days in prison and deportation from Sudan.  Sudan's top clerics had called for the full measure of the law to be used against Mrs Gibbons and labelled her actions part of a Western plot against Islam.

PAKISTAN's security forces claim to have regained control of Imam Dehri and other militant strongholds in the Swat valley in the country's North-West Frontier Province.  Other reports suggest that intensified military operations over the past 10 days in the Swat Valley have not yielded any significant results... and that General Ashfaq Parvez Kiani, who took over from Musharraf on Wednesday, may be okay with that.

IRAQ:  Shia and Sunni religious leaders met in Najaf Tuesday to discuss peace and unity in Iraq.  Two car bombs have been found hidden on the premises of the Baghdad office of Adnan al-Dulaimi, one of Iraq's top Sunni leaders, a senior Iraqi military official said on Thursday.  Bill Roggio looks at US military strategy in the northern provinces.  The White House denied that the US seeks permanent military bases in Iraq, days after the US "war czar" said that would be part of talks next year on long-term security ties.

BEACH BOAR:  Babe spends his days strolling on the beach of a private island in the Bahamas, swimming in the sea, eating hot dogs and drinking beer.

A ROGUE CROCODILE which escaped from a travelling circus six months ago has been recaptured in the Ukraine.

SICK RAMS and DONKEYS:  The Hittites' weapons of mass destruction.

A MOUNTAIN LION perched in a backyard tree near Crafton Elementary School in east Redlands, CA was tranquilized by authorities.  Ironically, the school's mascot is a cougar.

A PARROT with a Brooklyn accent may be worth ten grand.

BISHOP ALLEN premiered the video for "Click Click Click Click" at the 'Gum; it's currently in a Sony camera ad, so you can be the one who impresses friends and family by saying "Hey, that's Bishop Allen" when it comes on.

THE HOLD STEADY:  Craig Finn tells Crawdaddy that he "always wondered whether Springsteen sees himself as the first real songwriter who was strongly influenced by film."  I can't answer that question, but if Finn reads Dave Marsh's Born to Run, he'll find that cinematic influence comes mostly from critic-turned-manager Jon Landau.  At the WaPo music blog (yes, there is such a thing) David Malitz provides an A-Z glossary for the band.

JOE JACKSON is getting good buzz for his upcoming album, Rain.  MOKB is streaming "Citizen Sane," while Some Velvet Blog has posted "Too Tough" (streaming via the ol' HM).  I previously pointed y'all to "King Pleasure Time" also.

ROCK BAND:  At Slate, fmr Sleater-Kinney guitarist Carrie Brownstein reviews the videogame: "Rock Band is Guitar Hero for people with more than one friend. It's a theater group set to music, and just as nerdy."  Even so, it has been "haunting (her) like a bad ring tone."

RYAN ADAMS has stuck three short tracks from his metal alter-ego, Sleazy Handshake, among those streaming from RySpace.

M WARD and CONOR OBERST of Bright Eyes reportedly have formed a band.  Representatives from neither Oberst's nor Ward's camps could confirm the collaboration, however.

THE THERMALS have dropped a new video for "Returning to the Fold," from their current LP, The Body, The Blood, The Machine.

BALLAD OF A DEAD MAN:  Bob Dylan's "Mr. Jones" -- Jeffrey Owen Jones, a film professor at the Rochester Institute Of Technology -- has died of lung cancer at 63.  There have been other candidates for the protagonist, including a British journalist named Max Jones, who Dylan has mentioned himself.

RUBY, DON'T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN:  The Mel Tillis chestnut is covered at least eight times at MOKB, including by Leonard Nimoy.

NEIL YOUNG: The Detroit Free Press marks five milestones -- or left turns -- in his chameleonic career.

DINOSAUR, JR.:  Lou Barlow tells the Cape Cod Times the secret of the band's reunion: "J (Mascis) is less evil." After momentarily laughing, he pauses and adds, "I'm serious. J is a bit easier to communicate with and deal with. A bit."

THE BRIT BOX:  At the Riverfront Times blog, Annie Zaleski posts a two-disc set of songs she believes were wrongly left out of the Britpop collection, including tracks from The Housemartins, The Lightning Seeds, Paul Weller, and more.

SPARKS will play every one of the 20 albums they've released dating to 1972 over the course of a month next spring in London, leading to the premiere their brand new 21st album.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  The ever-reliable Star magazine is running rumors of a secret sex room, feces-smeared couches and another pregnancy.  The preganancy rumor is also the cover of the latest InTouch magazine, though I think they are suggesting a different dad, and pal Sam Lutfi denied the pregnancy story to Ryan Secrest.  The stories of the pop tart showing up 12 hours late to her own video shoot and being dumped by her new driver as a "liability" seem tame by comparison, though the one about Spears pulling off her panties in the middle of West Hollywood's Hustler Store and stealing a wig is still pretty rich.

LINDSAY LOHAN "has been drinking a little bit," a pal tells the New york Daily News.

HEATH LEDGER has been linked to Helena Christensen and Kate Hudson since his split from Brooklyn baby mama Michelle Williams, but he now reportedly has set his sights on Heather Graham and Gemma Ward.

DREW BARRYMORE was... wait for it... caught canoodling her He's Just Not That Into You costar (and human Macintosh) Justin Long over the Thanksgiving weekend, which she spent meeting Long's parents.

DOO WAH DADDY:  Mike d'Abo - the former lead singer of chart-topping Sixties band Manfred Mann - is celebrating becoming a father of twins at the age of 63.

JESSICA SIMPSON, as you might have guessed, was set up with Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo by her creepy dad-manager Joe.  However, "There are definitely parts of her that regret breaking up with Nick now," a Simpson friend tells Us Weekly in its new cover story, but I guess you have to buy the mag to discover which parts.

MADONNA is in the middle of a sheep controversy.  No, not that.  The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is angry that Madge dyed her pet sheep different colors for a Vogue photo shoot.

MARIE OSMOND faked her fainting spell on Dancing With the Stars?  RELATED:  Two-time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves beat out Spice Girl Mel B and Osmond for the prized mirror ball trophy Tuesday, but business executive Aliette Vazquez has broken off her engagement to the "Dancing" winner.

KIM KARDASHIAN had her laptop, digital camera and $50,000 worth of diamond jewelry, including a Cartier watch, stolen out of her bags, sources close to Kardashian told E! News.

ANGELA KINSEY from The Office is knocked up.  In the video version of the story, Kristin Veitch says there's a good chance her pregnancy will be written into the show.  After all, she will be due for May sweeps.

OWEN WILSON is reportedly dating "Bionic Woman" star Michelle Ryan.  Which one makes this sound?

TEDDY BEAR JIHAD:  A British teacher arrested in Sudan after allowing her class to name a teddy bear "Mohammed" has been charged by authorities with offending religion -- an offense punishable with 40 lashes, a jail term of up to a year or a fine.  A seven-year-old Sudanese boy defended the teacher, saying he had chosen to call a teddy bear Mohammad because it was his own name.  But extreme Islamic groups said Mrs Gibbons "must die" and urged Muslims to hold street protests after prayers tomorrow.

FRANCE:  The violence in the Paris suburbs ebbed Tuesday night after police were deployed in force and quickly rounded up youths lobbing Molotov cocktails and setting cars ablaze.  Buried at the end of the piece: "There have long been tensions between France's largely white police force and ethnic minorities in poor neighborhoods. Despite decades of problems and heavy state investments to improve housing and create jobs, the depressed projects that ring Paris are a world apart from the tourist attractions of the French capital. Police speak of no-go zones where they and firefighters fear to patrol."

VENEZUELA:  Pres. Hugo Chavez said CNN may have been instigating his murder when the US TV network showed a photograph of him with a label underneath that read "Who killed him?"  The caption appeared to be a production mistake -- confusing a Chavez news item with one on the death of a football star. The anchor said "take the image down" when he realized.

PAKISTAN:  At Foreign Policy, Daniel Markey and Husain Haqqani debate whether the US should abandon Pervez Musharraf.  FWIW, iirc, Haqqani is in Benazir Bhutto's camp.

IRAN said on Tuesday that it had invited Palestinian "militant" factions to a meeting in Tehran aimed at countering a US-hosted Middle East peace conference seeking to kickstart the peace process.

IRAQ:  A top Iraqi Sunni cleric on Wednesday called for the tens of thousands of Sunni Arab militants allied to US forces in the fight against Al Qaeda to be integrated into the regular security forces.  The WaPo reports that cabbies are once again crisscrossing nearly all of Baghdad.  Reuters reports on reconstruction in Fallujah, where blogger Michael J. Totten reports that an edgy calm prevails.  AQI is attempting to reestablish its propaganda presence in Iraq, while Multinational Forces Iraq is seeking to dismantle the network.  One of northern Iraq's longest-serving army brigade commanders was reassigned Tuesday, prompting concern among US military advisers that progress they've made in training Iraqi forces here would suffer.  Some of the refugees returning from Syria intend to fight the militants who drove them from their homes

IRAQ and the MEDIA:  When an Iraqi "journalist" said on Monday that gunmen went on a killing spree in his Baghdad home, murdering seven children and four adult relatives -- and blamed the "occupier or those who came with the occupier" -- the story was picked up widely in the media.  Just one problem -- the alleged victims have appeared on Iraqi television, apparently safe and well.  The "journalist's" sisters denounced his actions, saying there had never been any sort of threat against them. One of his brothers-in-law suggested that he had made the story up for political reasons.  ALSO:  During the press conference about the US and Iraq entering talks for a long-term bilateral security agreement, a member of the White House press corps revealed he or she did not know that we have one with South Korea.

BUZZWINKLE got drunk on fermented crab apples, draped himself in Christmas lights and ended up standing glassy-eyed and dizzy in the front yard of a downtown bar in Anchorage.  Not too different from most office parties.

RAT ISLAND:  Our second story from Anchorage.  State and federal wildlife biologists are gearing up for an assault on Rat Island, where the decendents of Japanese rats have virtually extermianted songbirds, seabirds and certain plants.

BABY FLAMINGOS born in Des Moines, IA.  Pics and video at the link.

PETS are more comforting to people recently bereaved than priests or spiritual advisers.

A FRENCH COOK has prepared the world's largest barbecue - spit-roasting a 550kg camel for 15 hours at a seaside Moroccan town south of Rabat.

THE WHITE STRIPES go bullfighting in the video for their cover of Corky Robbins's "Conquest," popularized in the 1950s by Patti Page.  Olé!

WOXY is streaming the season indie-style via its Holiday Mixer.  As I write this, the last songs heard included cuts from The Kinks, XTC, Sonic Youth, Spinal Tap and The Bangles.

THE TOP TEN LATE NIGHT TV MUSIC PERFORMANCES, with embedded video, courtesy of Culture Bully.

BEST of 2007:  Paste magazine's Top 100 albums are discussed at the 'Gum.  The comments are funny; the comments on the comments are priceless.

MARK OLSON, a founding member of The Jayhawks, did an interview, mini-set and video for The Bryant Park Project, which you can stream on demand via NPR.

FIND YOURSELF A CITY REDUX:  No sooner does the Guardian run a playlist about US cities than The A.V. Club runs a list of 18 kiss-off songs to cities.

UNCLE EARL has everybody Kung Fu Dancin' to their bluegrass in "Streak O' Lean, Streak O'Fat," with a cameo from their producer, Led Zep bassist John Paul Jones.

LED ZEPPELIN:  Speaking of which, the hype surrounding the release of the Mothership collection last week and the Zep reunion show in London next month led Culture Bully to post a two-parter of the 4-disc Complete BBC Radio Sessions (1969-71), which you can jukebox via the ol' HM at the moment.

OVER THE RHINE -- one of those married duos that are so hip these days -- stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.  Before I even listen, I'm guessing "North Pole Man" is on their new Christmas album, "Snow Angels."

THE KINKS:  Ray Davies' second solo album is finally due Stateside on February 19.  A deluxe CD/DVD version of the album containing bonus artwork, live performance footage and a video interview with Davies will also be released, as well as a limited edition 180 gram vinyl record.

BOB DYLAN:  The movie "I'm Not There" led the nominations for the 2008 independent Spirit Awards announced Monday in Los Angeles.  LA Weekly calls the song "I'm Not There" his most mysterious recording.  At the moment, you can stream the original and Sonic Youth's cover (recorded for the movie by the same name) via the ol' HM

AMY WINEHOUSE has called off all gigs and other public appearances for the remainder of 2007, after her doctor advised her to take complete rest.

MARILYN MANSON wants to break the world record for sharing a bath with snakes, currently held by "Texas Snakeman" Jackie Bibby.

BRITNEY SPEARS will get to spend Christmas morning with her sons, after a holiday visitation schedule was hammered out between the pop tart and Fed-Ex in a closed-door court hearing in Los Angeles on Monday.  Meanwhile, Details magazine has named Fed-Ex one of its "50 Most Influential Men under 45."  Indeed, he is listed as a "Good Father" alongside Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy, Larry Birkhead.  Ouch.

THE FRENCH HOTEL -- a changed woman sice her short stint in jail -- took to the street in a lingerie-style slip of a silk dress so short it left her matching blue tights exposed and barely covered her modesty.  Actually "modesty" is a word used charitably by the Daily Mail, as it's far from clear the heirhead has any.

THE NATIONAL LIMO ASSOCIATION sent an open letter to celebrity handlers and agents, reminding them that a limo is cheaper than the cost of a DUI charge.

BRADGELINA:  Jolie is reportedly not held in high regard by Julia Roberts, according to the ever reliable Star magazine, which also claims that Roberts hubby Danny Moder - who worked as a cameraman on Mr. & Mrs. Smith - said that  "People on the set called her the Spider-Woman because she was spinning a web" for the then-married Pitt.

GEORGE CLOONEY & DON CHEADLE will be presented with the 2007 Peace Summit Award by a collection of Nobel laureates at their annual meeting in Rome next month.  Clooney and Cheadle are being honored for promoting peace in Darfur.

MADONNA is hoping to sprinkle a little stardust on hubby Guy Ritchie's latest gangster flick, which has been retooled for its delayed US release.  Yhe flick was marketed to British audiences as a comedic romp similar to Ritchie's "Snatch" - but it left them confused by its more "cerebral" theme. (Or "pretentious style and fractured storytelling," as The Hollywood Reporter sniffed.)

MISS CONDUCT?  Ingrid Marie Rivera won the beauty pageant that selected Puerto Rico's representative in the Miss Universe contest, even though Rivera's evening gowns and makeup reportedly had been secretly doused with pepper spray.  However, police are now said to be investigating whether the pepper-spray claim may have been imaginary.

HULK HOGAN is said to be "devastated" his wife, Linda, filed for divorce, and friends are shocked at the bleached blonde's "erratic" behavior.

POLITICAL MOVIES:  Dismal returns for politically themed films in 2007 won't stop the genre from continuing well into next year.  But expect fewer studio movies to get the green light for 2009 because of the box-office backlash.

INDIANA JONES IV:  Non-spoilery pics are visible at Ain't-It-Cool-News.

THE DARK KNIGHT does not return to theaters until next summer, but has already launched a viral marketing campaign on the Internet, centered on a Gotham City newspaper.  ALSO:  The Joker adorns the cover of this month's Empire magazine.

THE GOLDEN COMPASS gets a good advance review from Roger Friedman.  There has been gossip of bad buzz about the holiday fantasy blockbuster, as well as an early review suggesting the CGI may shine more than Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig.  The official trailer is online, natch.

VENEZUELA:  As Pres. Hugo Chavez lost his lead eight days before a referendum on ending his term limit, Chavez warned that anyone voting against his proposed constitutional changes would be a "traitor."  Now he has threatened to strip the country's industrialists of their assets if they continued to oppose his indefinite presidency.  Sean Penn, Danny Glover and Kevin Spacey were unavailable for comment.

FRANCE:  "Youth" violence was escalating into urban guerrilla warfare in Villiers-le-Bel, with shotguns aimed at officers; more than 80 have been injured so far.  The local library was set ablaze.  The media continues its oblique reporting -- the BBC finallly reported that the two teenagers whose deaths sparked the violence on Sunday evening were "of Algerian origin."  The NYT (1st link) interviews youths "of Turkish origin" and "of Algerian descent," along with others whose names do not seem historically French.  CNN briefly notes that Villiers-le-Bel is "a town of public housing blocks that is home to a mix of Arab, black and white residents in the French capital's northern suburbs."  But the racial, religious, cultural and class aspects to the story will be downplayed or unreported.  Imagine if the Rodney King story and subsequent riots in south central L.A. had been reported in this way.

IRAN said on Tuesday it had built a new missile with a range of 2,000 km (1,250 miles), a step analysts said could add more power to Tehran's conventional arsenal when tensions over its atomic plans are rising.  Former Spook has analysis of the Iranian missile program.  Meanwhile, Iran has attacked Syria's participation in the Middle East peace summit in Annapolis, saying the move will further isolate the country in the region.

IRAQ:  Pres. Bush's war czar, Lt. Gen.l Douglas Lute quietly announced that the US and Iraqi governments will start talks early next year to bring about an end to the allied occupation by the close of Mr. Bush's presidency.  Grand Ayatollah Sistani urged his Shia followers to protect Sunnis. Preparations are currently underway to hold the first national meeting between Shiite and Sunni clerics in the city of Najaf.  Hundreds of Iraqi refugees in Syria boarded buses for home on Tuesday in the first convoy from an Iraqi-funded effort to speed the return of families that fled the country's violence and insecurity.  The UN High Commissioner for Refugees noted there was already a fluctuating average of 1500 departures to Iraq and 500 arrivals in Syria per day.

IRAQ II:  Twenty-eight al Qaeda fighters were captured in Kirkuk. US forces killed a senior al Qaeda leader in Mosul and two al Qaeda leaders north of Baiji. The Mosul bridge damaged by an al Qaeda truck bombers was repaired in three days. The Islamic Army in Iraq in Mosul split from the central organization.  Michael Yon, who spent Thanksgiving with Gen. Petraeus, reports that the mood is of cautious optimism, with a concern that some of the very positive media lately might set expectations too high.  Yon also reports from Basra, where the heat may have been as bad as the insurgents.  The chief of the Basra police department on Tuesday denied any idea of bringing new Iraqi forces to launch attacks on some armed groups (e.g., the Mahdi Army) in Basra.  The Asia Times reports on covert warfare along the Iraq-Iran border among the US, Iran and the Party for Free Life in Kurdistan.

TAFFY, a springer spaniel, underwent surgery after finding the Bob the Builder undies undigestible.  Clearly, the invention of edible underwear has confused someone.

THE SQUIRREL THREAT:  A militant squirrel was caught on video breaking into a home via the doggy door to steal the dog's food.

LUCKY the BURMESE PYTHON:  Sambath Uon won't go to bed without him.  NTTAWWT.

PANDA CUB at the San Diego Zoo finally gets a name.  Panda cam at the link.

TROUBLE, the Maltese who inhereited 12 million bucks from Leona Helmsley, is receiving death and kidnapping threats he doesn't understand.

PUSHING MAXIMUM DENSITY: On Black Friday, I followed Thanksgiving dinner by taking friends to Mr. Beef for lunch.  Oof.  I am Mr. Creosote (nsfw).

OKKERVIL RIVER frontman Will Scheff talked to Harp magazine about the various ways the band's latest album, The Stage Names, reflects on celebrity and fandom.  The band's latest video, "Girl In Port," actually features Scheff playing solo.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:  E Street Band keyboardist Danny Federici has dropped out of the group's current US tour to undergo treatment for skin cancer.  The Boss and Arcade Fireman Win Butler gave a joint interview to SPIN which is excerpted online, in which we discover that Bruce watches stuff on YouTube -- the clip mentioned is linked and discussed at the 'Gum.

ST. VINCENT:  Annie Clark talked to the Times of London about family matters, starting with her mother's reaction to her debut album, Marry Me.

THE ACORN, led by singer and multi-instrumentalist Rolf Klausener, based the new album's material on interviews with his mother, Gloria Esperanza Montoya, a half-Mayan Honduran emigrant.  You can stream a few from Glory Hope Mountain via AcornSpace.

NELLIE McKAY played WHYY's Fresh Air show, so you can stream the whole set on demand via NPR.

THE MOUNTAIN GOATS have announced the title and tracklist for their next album, due February 19th, 2008.

BILLY BRAGG has announced the title and tracklist for his next album, due next March 3rd.

TEGAN & SARA:  The Canadian acoustic pop duo did an interview, mini-set and video for the Bryant Park Project you can stream on demand via NPR.  The are also one of three bands you can see in the current family-themed 3x3 show streaming via Spinner.  The Cleveland Free Times notes the twins' differing songwriting approaches on The Con.  DC's Express profiles them, noting that friend and filmmaker Angela Kendall documented the making of the new record, and even helped them stage a daily call-in show in the basement of their rental house when they weren't busy recording.  There are embedded videos in the piece as well.  There is also a new Aussie video for "Monday, Monday, Monday."  Perhaps I should have included them on my Faves 2007 list.

LED ZEPPELIN are trying to get in shape for their big reunion gig.  Jimmy Page is a little rusty, while Robert Plant cannot hit those high notes the way he once did.  Bassist John Paul Jones had a fitness trainer visit him.  Fans can brush up with Zeppelin A to Z from London's Observer.

YO LA TENGO:  Bradley's Almanac has posted one of the band's "Freewheeling" shows at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston (presumably not the room where they keep the Cezanne), which you can jukebox via the ol' HM.

INDIE SELLS OUT:  CSS (Cansei de Ser Sexy, a Portuguese translation of "tired of being sexy," taken from a Beyoncé Knowles quote) released its debut LP in July 2006 and sold about 340 copies a week.  Then Nick Haley paired the band's dance-pop song "Music is My Hot, Hot Sex" with his 30-second amateur video, displaying the capabilities of Apple's new iPod Touch -- which Apple liked so much it became the basis for Apple's newest iPod commercial.  In the next two weeks, CSS sold 2,000 records and climbed to No. 15 in song downloads and No. 5 in ringtone sales at Apple's iTunes Store.

WEEN:  Dean and Gene were interviewed on All Things Considered, which you can stream (plus three songs) on demand via NPR.

BEIRUT:  Zach Condon talked to Drowned In Sound about how the songs on The Flying Club Cup album were inspired by an old piano, on which none of the black keys worked except F sharp.

AMY WINEHOUSE wiped away tears as her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil was denied bail, which means he will spend Christmas in jail awaiting a Jan. 18 hearing.  Peter Pepper, the singer in much-hyped band Palladium, accuses Winehouse of killing his hamster.  Meanwhile, Pete Doherty claims he and Amy were helping each other to battle drugs.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Enchanted certainly was for Disney, as its chart-topping 35 million (50 million five-day total) was its most successful Thanksgiving opening since Toy Story 2 in 1999.  This Christmas placed surprisingly strong with 18 million (27 million five-day) on a budget of only 13 million.  Beowulf continued to do just okay biz with 16 million.  Hitman debuted in fourth with 13 million.  Bee Movie and Fred Claus took punishment from Enchanted, earning 12 and 10.7 mil, respectively.  August Rush debuted in seventh with 9.4 million.  American Gangster dropped from No. 3 to No. 8, making another 9.2 million.  The Mist opened in ninth place with 9 million.  No Country For Old Men dropped from seventh to tenth, but almost doubled its total receipts with 8 million earned in near-wide release.

ENCHANTED:  I'm sorta reluctant to review a movie that so many people already saw this weekend, but Amy Adams really deserves (but likely will not get) a second Oscar nomination for playing Giselle, the would-be fairytale princess.  It's a role that would be easy to get spectacularly wrong by veering too far toward either the saccharine or the ironic, but Adams nails it.  I would say the same of James Marsden's Prince Edward, but he's had too much experience in this type of role (which is the most I can say without a spoiler).  Patrick Dempsey is okay as the wronged divorce lawyer, though he (or director Kevin Lima) should have had him more annoyed during the Central Park number.  It's Disney's Shrek, which means that the Mouse is now poking fun at himself, though not as sharply as others.

BRITNEY SPEARS has taken up with a waiter.  Her CD and single are spiraling down the charts.  As it becomes more likely that Fed-Ex will maintain full custody of their two boys, her family are banding together to ask the pop tart to give rehab another try.  But Spears reportedly is in talks to adopt Chinese twins, according to the uber-reliable News of the World, which puts it in the "likely untrue, but too funny not to share" bin.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA having criticized her fellow Mouseketeer Spears as lacking self-control and acting like trailer trash, should know that the paparazzi will be sure to photograph her going commando, even if she's pregnant.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul was... wait for it... caught canoodling Rosanna Arquette, according to the News of the World, which at least has some photos of them together.  Meanwhile, Heather Mills claimed she is being treated worse than a pedophile and murderer by the media.  Mills and her new mouthpiece are threatening to permanently cut off any news media outlet that dares make fun of Mills.

I'M NOT THERE was the second half of my double-feature this weekend, and it's a bit of a fairy tale as well.  Ostensibly a biopic of Bob Dylan, Todd Haynes succeeded in making a Dylanesque film "based on the music and many lives" of the folk-rock icon.  Most of the plaudits will go to Cate Blanchett, who does a remarkable job portraying the Don't Look Back-era Dylan -- but I wonder whether if that is in part because that Dylan is the one that most (or most Dylan fans, anyway) have seen.  For example, Christian Bale credibly takes on some of Dylan moments that were in their own way more controversial; should he get less credit simply because these episodes show Dylan turning on the liberal, secular crowds who helped boost him to fame?  Other Dylans are even less recognizable, though they all in their own way follow a similar arc in their intertwined journeys.  I would recommend this for Dylan fans, but those unfamiliar with his general bio and the range of his aesthetic may be baffled.

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cruise's secretive life is to be revealed in a new book by bestselling British author Andrew Morton , making allegations about why Cruise has been dogged by rumors about his sexuality, what went on in his past marriages and relationships, etc.  Cruise's lawyer is already making noise about defamation.  And coincidentally, pr0n star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi tells In Touch magazine: "Everything I've found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual."  NTTAWWT.

KATE MOSS smoked spliffs, got high on poppers and begged a DJ for drugs at a showbiz pal's birthday party, according to a report in London's Mirror.

BRADGELINA:  Jamie Oliver, a/k/a "The Naked Chef," reportedly incurred Jolie's wrath by accidentally making a spoonerism of Shiloh Pitt during a congratulatory phone call about Beowulf.

WHEN BACHELORETTES ATTACK:  Mary Delgado was arrested for assaulting the fiance that proposed to her at the end of The Bachelor's sixth season.

BOY GEORGE was ordered to stand trial after a Norwegian man claimed the singer handcuffed him to a bed and threatened him with sex toys.

HEIDI KLUM got more than a little crazy -- and maybe nsfw -- shooting a commercial for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which airs December 4th.  Among the topics is the effect of cold weather on certain parts of human anatomy.  Yes, it's gratuitous Monday.

CONSPIRACY THEORIES:  Nearly two-thirds of Americans believe the federal government had warnings about 9/11 but decided to ignore them, a national survey found. And that's just for starters.

PAKISTAN:  Exiled former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has returned to Pakistan. The army has begun the ground offensive in Swat; 30 Taliban and two soldiers were reported killed. The Taliban destroyed food stocks destined to feed pregnant women suffering from malnutrition in South Waziristan.

IRAN:  Police responsible for moral crimes have announced death sentences for 50 people in the latest clampdown on what the authorities term as "immoral behavior."  In a rare attack on Pres. Ahmadinejad, a hardline newspaper has accused him of behaving immorally towards his political rivals.  Meanwhile, Iran has produced its own nuclear fuel pellets of enriched uranium for the first time to power its under construction heavy water research reactor, according to Vice President Gholam Reza Aghazadeh.  Of course, the Russians are to provide uranium for the plant being built at Beshehr, which raises the question of why the mullahs are gung ho to be enriching uranium.

IRAN and IRAQ:  Iraq's most influential Shiite politician said Sunday that the US had not backed up claims that Iran is fueling violence in Iraq.  OTOH, more than 300000 Shiite Muslims from southern Iraq have signed a petition condemning Iran for fomenting violence in Iraq, according to a group of sheiks leading the campaign.  The petition, which the organizers said was signed by 600 sheiks, calls on the UN to investigate what it termed crimes committed by Iran and its proxies in southern Iraq.  Four members of an Iranian-backed Shiite cell confessed to bombing a public market in central Baghdad, a US spokesman said Saturday.

IRAQ:  The CSM has a piece on Ammar al-Hakim promoting a federation of nine provinces where conservative Shiite Islam would reign.  The Chicago Tribune has a piece on Abul Abed, a disgruntled Sunni insurgent leader who helped kick AQI out of its stronghold in the Amariyah neighborhood of Baghdad.  The NYT/IHT reports that the Bush Admin. has lowered its expectation of quickly achieving major steps toward unifying the country, focusing on reconciliation.  The NYT's Damien Cave  did a Q&A on the State of Iraq, reconcilaition and whether progress can be held as the US "surge" recedes.  Elsewhere, the NYT reports that remaining US troops will (return to) training and supporting Iraqi forces.  Bill Roggio argues that the rapidly expanding Iraqi Army is where the real surge in forces is occurring.  Both the Times of London and the Washington Post have pieces on returning refugees; the latter reports that Iraqi officials say 1,000 are arriving each day.  FNC reports that a map drawn by the late AQI leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi turned up last December in an AQ safe house and essentially gave US war planners insight into the terrorist group's methods for moving explosives, fighters and money into Baghdad.  The map can be downloaded at the link.

SUMMER the RABBIT is tending to six abandoned kitties.

A GANG of TORTOISES have gone missing after a raid at the Pet and Aquatic Centre in Wales last week.

COMBAT-TEAINED CAMELS are being dispatched from India to solve the transport headache facing a fledgling UN-African Union peacekeeping force in Sudan's strife-torn Darfur region.

MAN SHOOTS GOAT after his wife refused to buy him beer.  The man, that is.

MAN SHOOTS COW he claims he mistook for a coyote.  The authorities and the owner are skeptical.

BABE the BLUE OX has been beheaded.  Axe-wielding Paul Bunyan is not a suspect?

THE THRESHER SHARK that became entangled in Roger Nowell's net is believed to be the largest ever caught, weighing in at 1,125lb (510kg) and measuring 16½ft (5m) from its snout to the tip of its vast, sickle-shaped tail.  Nowell's boat sustained heavy damage in the process.  Cue Sheriff Brody (nsfw)!