THE MONKEES sing a Christmas medley at MTV, circa 1986. Even Mike Nesmith turned up.

NEW RELEASES: It's pretty much all that hippety-hop stuff at AOL this week. You might want to keep an eye or ear peeled for the Sugarcubes box set or Johnny Cash and June Carter: Live at the Louisiana Hayride.

SEASON of the LIST: Heather Browne and Some Velvet Blog put together a Top 12 albums from 12 bloggers poll. Stylus has started counting down its Top 50. At Chromewaves, Frank has posted a list of albums that deserved more ink than they got in 2006.

RBALLY has posted "unofficial live recordings" from R.E.M. circa 1981 and The Ramones circe 1975. You can jukebox 'em via the HM.

CHILDREN'S INDIE: Jon Langford (Mekons, Waco Bros.) talks a bit more about the Wee Hairy Beasties album with the Belleville News-Democrat: "I'm not a big fan of kids music where adults try to sing as though they were children looking at the world. I thought kids music could be something more than that.''

BOB MOULD'S Workbook is the most recent "Shadow Classic" at NPR, which is streaming three tracks.

THE JAM play "Start!" and "Private Hell" o­n Fridays in July, 1980.

GREG DULLI (Afghan Whigs, Twilight Singers) tells Harp magazine ten things you don't know about him, though o­ne of them is really more about Van Halen.

THE ARCADE FIRE has unveiled "Intervention," the first track from its hotly anticipated new album, Neon Bible, via a pre-recorded telephone message accessible by calling 866-636-6242, extension 7777. Or you can stream it via the HM. BONUS: The band stumbles through "The Christmas Song" and "Jingle Bell Rock."

HOLIDAY MUSIC: Lifehacker shows how to program Pandora for your own personal holiday music stations.

SHANE MacGOWAN has a yule blog for London's Guardian, including a bit o­n the enduring popularity of the Christmas-themed "Fairytale Of New York." Follow that link and you'll find a video link for the song, or you can stream the original audio via the ol' HM.

BRITNEY SPEARS was booed at a L.A. Lakers game when her mug was flashed o­n the Jumbotron, while they cheered the image of someone who looked like Fed-Ex. The pop tart was so upset that she left before halftime. Meanwhile, record producer JR Rotem last spotted spending log evenings with Spears, was snapped sneaking out the back of Teddy's nightclub at the Roosevelt Hotel with actress Bai Ling. And Spears was voted worst celebrity dog owner for 2006 in an o­nline poll readers of two dog magazines.

THE FRENCH HOTEL allegedly told Britain's uber-reliable Daily Star that she will marry o­n-off boyfriend Stavros Niarchos and have Britney Spears as her matron of honor.

MAD MEL UPDATE: The uber-reliable News of the World reports that 29-year-old Australian Carmel Sloane has taken legal action against Mel Gibson to force him to take a paternity test.

TiVO commissioned an unscientific poll of this year's most memorable TV moments. Katie Couric and Mel Gibson top the list.

NO GOODIE BAGS for stars at the Oscars or Golden Globes this year. Blame the IRS and Ed Norton's social conscience, which may be as big as his hair.

LINDSAY LOHAN says she will never pose nude for Playboy, but the actress is currently working the stripper pole hard enough to bruise her upper inner thighs. It's for a movie, natch. She e-mailed pals that she has greater respect for erotic dancers now, though you would not know it from what she calls them in the message.

REESE & RYAN BREAK-UPDATE: Witherspoon is still in regular communication with her estranged hubby and says she's getting out a little more now," but friends deny she's dating anyone, including current co-star Jake Gyllenhaal.

JOHN MAYER continues his bid for Strange New Respect by revealing that he gave permission for "Your Body Is A Wonderland" to be used in an episode of The Office in return for a "Dundie." Pics of the singer-songwriter with "the o­nly award that matters in this business" at the link.

BRADGELINA: Brad Pitt is older than I am. Geezer!

ANNA NICOLE SMITH finally returned to the US without being extradited, in order to participate in mediation over her much-disputed share of her late husband's 1.6 billion estate.

JESSICA ALBA reportedly wants to be skinnier, according to In Touch magazine. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

IRAQ: Maj. Ben Connable writes about the likely effect of US withdrawal. Memos showing that Saddam authorized mustard gas attacks against Kurdish villages were introduced at Saddam's genocide trial. Newsweek reports that the Iraqi economy is strong, even booming in places, calling it "the mother of all surprises." But it's o­nly a surprise to people who rely o­n outlets like Newsweek for news -- I was pointing this out last year, in June, August, October and November, to note but a few occasions. And I have often pointed out that statistics like those in the Newsweek story have long been available to anyone with Internet access, via the Brookings Institution's Iraq Index.

IRANIAN voters have delivered an embarrassing blow to the hard-line government of Pres. Ahmadinejad, by shunning his allies in municipal and clerical elections. Former Pres. Rafsanjani trounced Ahmadinejad's fundamentalist mentor, too. The government had disqualified most of the reformist candidates. And student activists who protested against Ahmadinejad last week have gone into hiding in fear for their lives after his supporters threatened them with revenge.

HATE CRIMES in the UK: Muhammed Abdul Bari, the head of the Muslim Council of Britain, invoked Hitler's 1930s Nazi regime while accusing the British government of stigmatizing Britain's Islamic community and fuelling xenophobia. He also defended the council's decision to boycott Holocaust Memorial Day. Meanwhile, Jewish people are four times more likely to be attacked because of their religion than Muslims, according to figures compiled by the police.

FIRST FEMALE DOGS CLONED by an ex-collaborator of disgraced South Korean scientist Hwang Woo-suk -- or so he claims.

PYTHON kills it's owner. Overdid the hugging.

COCKFIGHTING suffers a blow in Texas.

AN AUSSIE HORSE is dropping charges of indecency against a woman in New South Wales.

ELEPHANTS: Chicagoland's Brookfield Zoo is bucking animal rights activists and developing plans to go big o­n pachyderms, possibly quintupling the size of its current exhibit. "Elephants are in deep trouble in the wild," Zoo director Stuart Strahl said. "Their resources are shrinking."

OSAMA BIN LADEN has been shot dead triggering protests from those who claim he was the wrong target. Did I mention this is about an elephant?

HOW DO YOU SPELL CHANNUKKAHH? The LeeVees try to help with an Electric Company-esque video. NPR also has a streaming feature with founding member Adam Gardner (also of Guster).

SEASON of the LIST: Pitchfork has "best of" lists from Islands, Mastadon, Go! Team, Jens Lekman, The Pipettes, Beck and more. Billboard has the Top ten from their panel of critics, as well as lists from artists including Mike Watt, Robert Pollard, Calexico's Joey Burns and Drive-By Trucker Patterson Hood. The BBC collective has a/v links for their Top Ten. Glide does it's best to link you to the pages for their Top 20. Marathon Packs has a Top 19. And there's an interesting Top Ten at More Cowbell!

THAT RARE VELVET UNDERGROUND ACETATE is back up for auction, with new rules to deter pranksters. Better yet, Ken King notified me that Moistworks recently posted some of the songs from that session, which you can jukebox via the ol' HM.

HARRY NILSSON: Filmmakers John Scheinfeld and David Leaf -- along with composer Van Dyke Parks -- talk to Harp magazine about the documentary Who is Harry Nilsson (and Why is Everybody Talkin

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE...

...WITH A NICE DAY FOR A... "White Christmas." Ouch.

AHMET ERTEGUN, who co-founded Atlantic Records and helped bring John Coltrane, Big Joe Turner, LaVern Baker, Bobby Darin, Ruth Brown, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Percy Sledge, Wilson Pickett, Otis Redding, the Bee Gees, the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin -- to name just a few -- to the ears of America and the world, died Tuesday at 83. He slipped into a coma following a head injury suffered as the Stones prepared to play former Pres. Bill Clinton

JOHNNY CASH counts down "The 12 Days of Christmas." I shoulda thought of this yesterday!

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS has been reissued with bonus alternate takes of several tracks, plus liner notes.

SEASON of the LIST: Metacritic has the 30 Best-Reviewed Albums of the Year, plus year-end critic top ten lists from various music publications. Yeti posted his Yeti Favorite Albums of the Year, along with a Top Ten for social and peer approval. Underrated has the Top 25 Underrated Albums, with songs you can jukebox via the Hype Machine. Berkeley Place is killing music with the Top 20 covers and mash-ups, plus a mess 'o' Stones covers from Drive-By Trucker Patterson Hood -- which you can also jukebox via the HM.

THE RACONTEURS and CAT POWER: Pitchfork will link you to advance QuickTime videos from their Dec. 30th appearances o­n Austin City Limits.

SAD SONGS: British scientists (in collaboration with Nokia) are analyzing their "tune trigger quotient" -- measuring heart rate, respiratory response and skin temperature -- to find the saddest songs, as well as the happiest and most exhilarating songs.

THE BEATLES: There's a video for "Within You Without You/Tomorrow Never Knows" from the LOVE album up at the Fabs' website.

BEIRUT has a new EP coming in January, but you can download "Elephant Gun" for free now, or stream it via the HM.

THE 89 MOST REDUNDANT, REPETITIVE CLICHES in rock music, courtesy of AOL.

THE LOUVIN BROTHERS: An Aquarium Drunkard calls 1960's Satan Is Real "the Rosetta stone of fire and brimstone country gospel." You can stream a couple from the album, along with two takes o­n "The Christian Life" from The Byrds.

LOU REED, talking to The New York Times about 1973's Berlin, which he is performing in full for the first time tonight, manages to call it both a "great" album and "just another o­ne of my albums that didn

NIRVANA wishes Ru Paul a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. (thx Stereogum)

THAT RARE VELVET UNDERGROUND ACETATE has failed to sell, after the winning 155K bid o­n eBay turned out to be bogus.

AIMEE MANN: You can stream a gig, including stuff from her holiday album, via KCRW.

LEONARD COHEN and SLY and the FAMILY STONE are getting the archival treatment from Legacy recordings in March.

RBALLY is still kickin' -- and has posted sets from R.E.M. (1984), The Lemonheads (1993), Lou Reed (1973), Ted Leo (2005), and The Breeders (1994). As always you can jukebox 'em o­n the ol' HM... just click "listen" where you want to start.

ELVIS COSTELLO snarls his way through a crack version of "Waiting For the End of the World" with the Attractions. His first ever TV performance, however, is a solo take o­n "Allison."

THE ARTIST CURRENTLY KNOWN AS PRINCE is set to perform in the Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show in February.

RAY LaMONTAGNE played DC's 9:30 Club Monday, so you can stream the gig (and an interview) now via NPR.

YO LA TENGO will not perform their traditional run of star-studded Hanukkah shows at their hometown club, Maxwell's, in Hoboken. Bummer.

YOU TUBE may face competition from Fox, Viacom Inc, CBS and NBC.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The children's book based o­n the travails of the troubled singer is to be made into an animated TV series.

BRADGELINA: Jolie talks about the relationship she developed with Pitt o­n the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith in January's Vogue magazine, adding: "We are legally bound to our children, not to each other, and I think that's the most important thing." Another oddly ambiguous comment, yes? She tells ComingSoon that she may playing the role of Ava Lord in Sin City 2.

MATT DAMON has discovered things almost everyone I know already knew about babies since becoming a dad. And I just heard him tell a reporter at the premiere for The Good Shepherd that kissing co-star and friend Angelina Jolie "was like kissing your sister. Except you have a really hot sister."

BRITNEY SPEARS: The French Hotel is defending her new friend's new habits: "She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting." Except when she went to JR Rotem's apartment building at 3:30 a.m., that is.

NICOLE RICHIE'S DUI bust was captured o­n a security camera by ABC TV, which has offices nearby.

LINDSAY LOHAN tells People that she's been going to AA for a year and hasn't had a drink for a week. Do the math. Her mother was spotted hiding outside Hyde with a younger man the other night.

JUDE LAW and SIENNA MILLER: Law is still complaining his divorce from Sadie Frost left him broke, but won't talk about Sienna Miller. OTOH, Miller says she was so heartbroken by Jude Law's affair with his nanny that she went into therapy -- but ended up angrily calling her psychiatrist "a cow." There has been a rumor that the couple have booked a safari after Christmas in another attempt to rekindle their affair, which Miller denies. She also fears her dad's reaction to her graphic love scenes in the upcoming Edie Sedgwick biopic, Factory Girl.

COURTNEY LOVE had her misdemeanor assault case and two drug-possession cases dismissed, after a judge found that she had successfully completed drug rehabilitation.

JENNIFER LOPEZ and Marc Anthony are planning to adopt a baby from Puerto Rico, according to the UK's Daily Mail. The paper claims that J-Lo is studying P.R. adoption law to avoid the bad pub Madonna got adopting in Malawi.

JENNA JAMESON has filed for legal separation from her husband of three and a half years. I'm shocked! Even though her hubby was also a pr0n star, I'm shocked!

AWARDS SEASON: The Departed was voted best picture by the Boston Society of Film Critics, who also named Martin Scorsese best director.

CHARLOTTE'S WEB: With the movie version arriving in theaters Friday, it's nice that Walden Media, Paramount Pictures, HarperCollins, Nickelodeon Movies, Kerner Entertainment and others are encouraging reading by trying to break the world record for people reading aloud simultaneously today at noon EST.

A SUICIDAL MAN visits the mall, Blues Brothers-style. You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.

THE IRAQ STUDY GROUP: USA Today reports o­n the poll it conducted with Gallup that "Three of four support the major recommendations unveiled by the Iraq Study Group last week." But you have to look at the full poll results to discover that o­nly 54% say they have followed the news about it closely, that 63% say they don't know enough to say whether most of the recommendations should be implemented, and that -- by a 15% margin -- more people trust the US military and the DoD to recommend the right thing than the ISG. Time runs a piece by Lisa Beyar puncturing the ISG report's suggestion that acting o­n the conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians will help Iraq.

IRAQ in the MEDIA: o­n Tuesday, the Washington Post quoted anonymous "officials" as saying that the White House strategy review suffered from "a lack of thinking o­n other big issues -- oil, the economy, infrastructure and jobs." Yet the same day, the same paper reported o­n Pentagon efforts to improve the economy and jobs. Both stories appeared o­n the front page of the paper. The Christian Science Monitor has an op-ed piece o­n blogger Bill Roggio, who has posted his response from Camp Fallujah.

IRAN is secretly searching for uranium in war-torn Somalia, according to a confidential UN report obtained by Pajamas Media. The story is bylined to Daveed Gartenstein-Ross, who has an incredible backstory.

A SQUIRREL PACK bit to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park. They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

GREY SQUIRRELS are to be given contraceptives in a project approved by Scottish ministers. The may want to ty that in Russia.

ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS have launched a campaign against plans to put up a giant ferris wheel in Berlin, saying it would disturb the sex lives of rhinos in a nearby zoo.

THE SYDNEY MUD WHELK moves very slowly and looks harmless enough... but it's a potential time bomb.