THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE:

...with THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS!  A.C. Newman & Co. stopped by the Interface, where they played 'All The Things That Go To Make Heaven And Earth', 'My Rights Versus Yours', 'Challengers' and 'Mutiny, I Promise You', along with an interview, in which Newman talks about the inclusion of "Electric Version" in the Rock Band videogame.

MOUNTAIN GOATS frontman John Darnielle talks to the Village Voice and the Anchoarge Daily News, while bassist Peter Hughes talked to the U of Alaska's Northern Light (guess where their tour kicks off).  Remember, you can advance stream the new Heretic Pride album through Monday at Spinner.

SONIC YOUTH are preparing to launch an art show, which they hope will travel the world over a number of years.

THOM YORKE of Radiohead is the guest DJ on the latest installment of All Songs Considered.

MISSION OF BURMA:  The Definitive Editions I, II and III (of their Ace Of Hearts catalog, recorded between 1979 and 1983) come out on March 18. Fully remastered from the original analog tape by Rick Harte, Ace Of Hearts owner.  Matador Records has free hi-quality downloads of two tracks for you.

OTTER:  Friend of Pate Scott Jasper & Co. are playing DG's Taphouse at 125 Main St. in Ames on Saturday night @ 9 p.m.

MARITIME:  The song may be called "Guns of Navarone," but it's really quite jaunty.

FEIST talks to the BBC about coming home empty-handed from the Grammys, the famous iPod Nano ad, etc.  If you missed her at the Grammys, you can see her now.

MARK KNOPFLER & EMMYLOU HARRIS stopped by the World Cafe for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via NPR.

THE FELICE BROTHERS, on the road with Drive-By Truckers, answer five questions at Muzzle of Bees.  You can -- and should -- stream a few tracks at FeliceSpace.

THE POLICE are touring again... with Elvis Costello opening.  Brooklyn Vegan has the info and a lovely quote.

CUTOUT BIN:  From Jackie Wilson to Wire, from Elton John to Sonic Youth, from The Clash to the execrable Rick Astley, this Friday's fortuitous finds can be jukeboxed or streamed individually on the Pate page at the ol' HM.

BRITNEY SPEARS' father Jamie was granted an extension of his conservatorship over her until March 10, the LA Superior Court decided Thursday.  And why not?  The pop wreck spent 60 million bucks since last year on shopping, vacations, doctors, lawyers, and more, according to the new issue of Life & Style Weekly.  Meanwhile, deposed manager-pal Sam Lufti is trying to get California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to look into why Britney can't get an attorney.  Good luck with that, Sam.

THE McCARTNEYS spent Valentine's Day together in divorce court.  The Daily Mail had Sir Paul upbeat and Heather Mills wilting under the pressure of the assault by his team.  The Sun had both worn down with an angry Sir Paul telling his lawyer to offer Mills £30million to "get her off my back."

MADONNA was loudly booed by fans before the premiere of her directorial debut at the Berlin International Film Festival.  "The consensus before the first press screening... was: is the film just bad, or truly atrocious," wrote Der Spiegel's Daniel Sander.  The Guardian: "She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens."

JANE FONDA dropped the C-word on the Today Show, which made it to air, though it's bleeped in the video at the link.  I guess that's an unorthodox way to stop people from having "Hanoi Jane" be the first thing they think of when they hear her name.

BAI LING was busted by LAX Airport police after allegedly stealing two magazines and a pack of batteries from a gift shop.  Her mug shot is lovely -- not as good as Nick Nolte's mug shot, but pretty good.

GEORGE ROMERO talks to The A.V. Club about his new Diary Of The Dead,  which follows a group of film students as they digitally capture the ensuing mayhem. Unlike other recent "found footage" films like Cloverfield and Redacted, Romero uses his conceit to explore how recording an event can distance the recorder from what's happening...

STAR TREK REBOOT has been pushed back from Dec. 25 to May 8, 2009.  Paramount saying the pic's gross potential is greater as a summer tentpole.  Gossip says the script was lacking and the writers' strike prevented them from fixing it quick enough to stay on schedule.

INDIANA JONES and the KINGDOM of the CRYSTAL SKULL:  Watch the teaser trailer at Yahoo! Movies.  So good to hear that John Williams score.

CARTOON JIHAD:  Denmark watched anxiously Thursday as the first reports came in of protests in Muslim countries against the decision by Danish newspapers to reprint a cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad that sparked riots two years ago.  Dozens of hardline Islamic students burned the Danish flag in Karachi, Pakistan, demanding death for the cartoonist.  In Denmark, youths have been setting fire to cars and trash bins for four consecutive nights.  The youths have been protesting against what they claim is police harassment, but some community leaders said the latest cartoon uproar had stoked tensions further.

ISLAMISM in the UK:  The world-renowned Royal United Services Institute delivers an unprecedented attack on the Government's security policy, asserting that an obsession with multiculturalism was making Britain a soft touch for terrorists.  The report was issued even as British appeals courts overturned five terror-related convictions.  The authors suggest the world is living through a "time of remission" between the 9/11 attacks and a yet-worse future atrocity which will deliver "an even greater psychological blow."

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS:  Human Rights Watch called on the Saudi king Thursday to void the conviction of a woman facing execution for witchcraft.

IRAQ:  Bill Ardolino continues his "Inside Iraqi Politics" series with a look at the legislative branch.  The Belmont Club argues that the law passed this week for provincial elections may be a lynchpin of sectarian reconciliation.  The US military believes that the operations in northern Iraq are driving many AQI fighters out of cities that once provided them safe haven and into the desert, or even out of the country.  The US also believes AQI is recruiting female patients at Baghdad's two psychiatric hospitals for suicide missions -- with the help of hospital staff.

THE SECRET LIVES OF BADGERS:  The subterranean secrets of badgers have been revealed by a BBC film crew.  Text and videos at the link.  Sadly, no mushrooms.

SNAKE in a BED, but not in that good way for a Huntington Beach woman.

A HUMBOLDT PENGUIN CHICK born underweight and sickly last month at the Brookfield Zoo has flourished on a weight-gain regimen of fish shakes six times a day, Brookfield Zoo officials said.  Video at the link, too.

A FAT CAT has been put on a strict diet after getting stuck in his flap in Scarborough, North Yorkshire.  Sooty weighs three times the average cat.  Pics at the link.

DOR the LABRADOR found an elderly man who fell over in freezing conditions at night, the second time the dog was credited with saving a life in Tokyo. "What's that, Dor?" *Woof, Woof!* "You say he's fallen and can't get up?" *Woof!* "I better call the police.."

R.E.M.:  No teaser this time... it's the full video for "Supernatural Superserious," from the upcoming Accelerate LP, with a little behind the scenes also.

ANTI-VALENTINES:  Five songs for those wishing to wallow in the holiday's sheer, soul-wrecking brutality are streaming on demand via NPR.

MAGNETIC FIELDS mastermind Stephin Merritt gives the Boston Globe and the Boston Herald different takes on his new album, Distortion.

GARY LOURIS, of Jayhawks and Golden Smog semi-fame, stopped by The Current for a chat and mini-set you can stream on demand via MPR.

THE POSTMARKS have released two free downloads, one of which is a cover of John Barry and Nancy Sinatra's "You Only Live Twice."

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS have a trippy new video for their totally fab song "Myriad Harbor."

DeVOTCHKA, perhaps best known for soundtracking Little Miss Sunshine, have a new album, A Mad and Faithful Telling, due March 18 in North America.  You can stream an advance track, "Transliterator," from The Yellow Stereo.

GREG KOT, rock critic for the Chicago Tribune has posted the video of his appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, along with what he and Conan discussed when the cameras were off.

JOSE GONZALEZ performs "Abram" and "Time to Send Someone Away," amidst a hushed group of pleasantly surprised visitors at the Blanton Museum for KUT.

AMY WINEHOUSE has been trying to justify sharing a hotel room with artist Blake Wood by claiming he's gay.  The two met through Kelly Osboune.  He reportedly seems like a better influence than her incarcerated hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil, though that does not change the fact that she is still married.

BRITNEY SPEARS:  The ever-reliable Star magazine is claiming that the pop wreck "secretly wed" lens-lizard Adnan Ghalib during their visit to Mexico last month - which is legally meaningless, as he has not yet divorced his previous wife, AzLynn Berry.  Meanwhile, Ghalib was spotted chatting with the police, perhaps in connection with an alleged assault on another paparazzo.

NOW SHOWING:  This week's wide releaes open on Valentine's Day, including The Spiderwick Chronicles, a fantasy flick currently scoring 77 percent on the ol' Tomatometer; Jumper, the teleportation movie currently scoring 19 percent; Step Up 2, a music drama scoring 56 percent; and the father-daughter rom-com Definitely, Maybe, which is scoring 75 percent.

O.J. SIMPSON was questioned by by police after his long-time girlfriend Christie Prody was hospitalized with a head injury and massive bruises all over her body.  The ever-reliable National Enquirer claims the cops aren't convinced that Prody was injured in a fall, but the police told TMZ that her injuries are "consistent" with a fall she took at a gas station, that they don't consider this a criminal case, and that O.J. was never a suspect.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Relations between Sir Paul and Heather Mills reportedly have taken a fresh downturn, after a day when the couple were to discuss their daughter's schooling at their divorce hearing.

MADONNA, who is approaching her 50th birthday, revealed greying roots during an outing in Berlin yesterday.

JENNIFER ANISTON reportedly had a happy 39th birthday on Monday, but she is reportedly gearing up to greet Angelina Jolie or, as she chooses to put it, "that person who ruined my life" after being bombarded with images of a glowing, pregnant Angelina.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA is showing off her new baby, Max, in People magazine.

24 co-creator/executive producer Joel Surnow is leaving the Emmy-winning drama, which may not return until fall at the earliest, more likely January '09, due to the writers' strike.

NICOLE KIDMAN will star in a biopic of outed CIA agent Valerie Plame, directed by Doug Liman.  She has starred in a string of flops.  Iraq-related movies flopped all last fall.  Liman is the director of Jumper, the poorly-reviewed teleportation flick opening today.  Sounds like a blockbuster.

QUANTUM of SOLACE:  Daniel Craig and Dame Judi Dench have just begun filming the newest installment of the James Bond franchise in Panama.  Aint-It-Cool-News has a totally wacky casting rumor.

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS & CO, overdub scenes from Casablanca, Singin' In The Rain, and The Godfather.

CARTOON JIHAD:  Denmark's leading newspapers reprinted a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad that triggered rioting in Muslim countries two years ago.  The newspapers said they republished the cartoon to show their firm commitment to freedom of speech after the arrest Tuesday of three people accused of plotting to kill the man who drew the cartoon depicting the prophet wearing a turban shaped like a bomb with a lit fuse.

IRAN has taken a significant step forward in its nuclear program by producing quantities of a gas crucial to the enrichment of uranium.  David Albright, a former UN nuclear inspector, said last week that the ingenuity demonstrated by Iranian scientists to overcome recent hitches was impressive.

HEZBOLLAH commander Imad Mughniyeh, suspected in some of the deadliest terrorist attacks of the last 25 years and a reputed role model for Osama bin Laden has been killed in Syria.  Robert Baer, who hunted Mugniyeh for years as a CIA officer, says ""He is the most dangerous terrorist we've ever faced. He is probably the most intelligent, most capable operative we've ever run across, including the KGB or anybody else...  He is the master terrorist, the grail that we have been after since 1983."  Hezbollah and Iran are blaming Israel for Mugniyah's death.  Israel denied any involvement, but was very likely behind Mugniyah's death, given the modus operandi.  Andrew Exum at Middle East Strategy at Harvard writes that Mughniyeh's demise, coming on the anniversary of Rafik Hariri's death, means that both sides of the Lebanese political divide will be pumped up and primed for war tomorrow.

IRAQ:  Parliament on Wednesday passed three key pieces of legislation that set a date for provincial elections, allotted 48 billion for 2008 spending, and provides limited amnesty to detainees in Iraqi custody.  Beneath the surface, however, there is tension between some tribes of the Anbar Awakening and the Iraqi Islamic Party, a Sunni party with limited grass-roots support, but which dominates the provincial council in Anbar Province.  Sheikh Ahmed, generally recognized leader of the Awakening, has already forged an alliance in Anbar with Vice President Tariq al-Hashemi and the IIP, while Sheikh Hatem, who regards himself as the rightful chief is compalining (and nearly getting assassinated on Monday).  Meanwhile, US SecDef Gates and SecState Rice have a piece in the WaPo about the "status of forces" agreement to be negotaiated between the US and Iraq, apparently meant to allay fears that it will lock the US into a permanent presence there.

HIDEOUS DEMON DOG sells snack food in Japan.  Videos at the link.

A GHOSTLY WHITE STAG has appeared in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands -- and has been caught on camera.

YEAR of the HAMSTER:  The price of hamsters has tripled in China after the start of the Year of the Rat.  Insert your own... Al Stewart or Richard Gere joke here.

FEMALE RATS prefer the smell of road-tested studs.

TROUT a la BONG is on the menu at a high-end eatery in Melbourne, Australia.

THE DUKE SPIRIT has a clip for kinda psychedelic "The Step and The Walk" in advance of their Neptune albume, due in April.  You can also hear the more Motown-influenced "My Sunken Treasure" via the 'Gum.  Both are sounding pretty tasty.

KEREN ANN and DEAN & BRITTA are on tour together (and getting raves), so it's no surprise that both stopped by The Current to chat and play.  You can stream Keren or D&B or both on demand via MPR.

DAN BEJAR of Destroyer and the New Pornographers, talks to Rabble about the upcoming Destroyer album and living in Vancouver, but not about his current side project, Hello, Blue Roses.  Go figure.

LOS CAMPENSINOS! talk to UberDrivel in advance of their full length album, Hold On Now, Youngster... due on February 25th.  You can stream a few tracks via CampesinoSpace.

THE REPLACEMENTS:  Rhino has announced plans to serve up expanded reissues of "Sorry Ma, Forgot To Take Out the Trash," "Stink," "Hootenanny" and "Let It Be" on April 22.  Tracklistings at the link.

TILLY & THE WALL:  Nick White, keyboardist for the foot-stompin' indie quintet from Omaha, talks to Music Snobbery about the recording of the ban's as-yet untitled third album.  If you haven't seen their flamenco-inflected indie pop, you can watch 'em play "Bad Education" for Letterman.

MGMT:  The psych-pop combo's Ben Goldwasser talks to Matt at YANP about the band's live shows, influences, landing on a major label and more...

THE 1900s, a 7 piece band from Chicago, have a bit of a 60's folk-pop vibe, did the four free songs thing for Daytrotter, alternate takes on selections from their Cold & Kind LP.

CELTIC PUNKS:  Crawdaddy compares and contrasts the Pogues and the Dropkick Murphys.

AXL ROSE has become a "virtual recluse" in his Malibu mansion for the past 15 years, according to a new tell-all on the former Guns N' Roses rocker.

BARRON HILTON, little brother of the French Hotel was busted for DUI in Malibu at 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, after allegedly ramming an employee at a Malibu 76 gas station.  However, according to a Sheriff's Department press release, a female in Barron's car may have been driving at the time of the collision, and then Barron took the wheel.  The French Hotel refused to bail him out, reportedly saying, "You're going to learn your lesson," though she was seven years older than he when she was busted for DUI.  So his friends are getting a bail bondsman.

BRITNEY SPEARS taught dance to children not much older than her own boys on Monday at Millennium Dance Complex in North Hollywood.  The pop wreck led the class in "her favorite brown cowboy boots, fishnet stockings, a red short skirt, and a bluish greenish top that hangs down past her skirt."

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS is "really excited" about her teen pregnancy, according to Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Peace appeared to have broken out in court yesterday as Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills edged steadily towards a record divorce settlement.  And here I thought giving peace a chance was John's gig.  Mills will take the money and run, according to her dad.  And here I thought taking the money and running was Steve Miller's gig.  Or Woody Allen's.  Granted, that's one of my favorite Woody pics and one of the first mockumentaries, but Steve Miller might have been funnier when he rhymed "El Paso" with "hassle."

LINDSAY LOHAN may get nudged off the wagon by an old friend.

FERGIE AND JOSH DUHAMEL are moving up their wedding date because the "Glamorous" songbird is pregnant, according to gossips at Clive Davis' pre-Grammys bash.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON & NATALIE PORTMAN, promoting The Other Bloyn Girl, talk to W magazine about their public images, monogamy, their presidential picks and more... The best pictures of them are a bit goth, though, so I went with something from their duel appearance on the Today Show.

GWYNETH PALTROW and CHRIS MARTIN are considering adopting an orphan from the actress' hometown of NYC:  "We might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I'm a New York girl."

JUNO:  At Slate, Dana Stevens covers the backlash and the backlash to the backlash to the little film that made 100 million and could win an Oscar.

GARY COLEMAN, the now 40-year-old former child star got secretly married to 22-year-old Shannon Price on a mountaintop in August.  The couple can already go a week not speaking to each other.

NICOLAS CAGE sues KATHLEEN TURNER for writing in her new autobiography Send Yourself Roses that the actor was busted for two DUIs and once stole a Chihuahua.

THE 2008 SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT ISSUE is online with over 1000 pictures.  You can get some highlights at Egotastic.  It's like Gratuitous Thursday, but on Wednesday.

STEVEN SPIELBERG has decided not to participate in the Summer Olympic Games in Beijing as an artistic adviser, citing the lack of progress in ending the genocide in Darfur.

RUSSIA may target its nukes on... Ukraine.

CARTOON JIHAD:  Danish authorities said Tuesday they have arrested three people who allegedly were plotting a "terror-related assassination" of a cartoonist whose drawing of the Prophet Mohammed sparked rage in the Muslim world two years ago.

COUNTER-INSURGENCY:  Several studies from the RAND corporation on COIN in Iraq and elsewhere in the Muslim world are rounded up at the Small Wars Journal blog.

IRAQ:  The acting director of a Baghdad psychiatric hospital has been arrested on suspicion of supplying AQI with the mentally impaired women that it used to blow up two crowded animal markets in the city on February 1, killing about 100 people.  At TIME magazine, Brian Bennett thinks the US is in danger of understimating radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr.  The latest round of talks between US and Iranian officials on Iraqi security will get underway in the next few days.

VALENTINE the PIGLET is so named for an obvious reason.  That's Some Pig.

PETUNIA the PIGLET has taken to eating roast dinners, with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

POULTRY PRANKSTERS CAUGHT ON TAPE:   Surveillance video captured the hooded culprits who let dozens of chickens run amok at Philadelphia's Northeast High School over the weekend, police said.  The prank forced officials to cancel classes Monday for 3600 students.  Pics and video at the link.

SUICIDE MOOSE nearly kills an Alaska State Trooper plunging to its death from the tall cliffs that hug a highway famous for its scenery and wildlife.

WESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB DOG SHOW:  Uno the beagle takes Best in Show!  Dr. J. Donald Jones, the judge, had not been aware that his choice of a beagle was unprecedented.  The Boston Globe has your day two slideshow.  Which reminds me... where is my buzzy bee?

THE WHITE STRIPES -- en español -- with "Conquista!"  Jack doesn't miss an opportunity, does he?

NEW RELEASES:  The Mountain Goats, Raveonettes, British Sea Power, Widespread Panic and more are streaming in full this week via Spinner.  There is also a Neil Young tribute disc benefitting a breast cancer charity.

ROBYN HITCHCOCK answers 20 questions for PopMatters, with topics including his inspirations, best advice taken, Star Trek vs. Star Wars, time travel and stress management.

KELLY STOLTZ answers five questions for Muzzle of Bees, incluuding faves of 2007, his new album and the impact of the Intrernet. You can stream a bunch of new and old tracks via StoltzSpace.

JOE JACKSON talks to the Independent about leaving London for Berlin, his new album, his upcomin musical about Bram Stoker, and more...

LOS LOBOS:  That White Stripes clip put me in the mood for a couple of vintage Los Lobos tracks, like "Don't Worry, Baby" and "Set Me Free, Rosa Lee."  And that is your Twofer Tueday.

BECK, FEIST, SUPERCHUNK and the PIXIES are among the live sets recently featured at the reactivated rbally.  You can jukebox a bunch via the ol' HM.

NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL:  Stereogum marks the 10th anniversary of the seminal  In The Aeroplane, Over the Sea LP with an essay and embedded video of frontman Jeff Mangum.

GRAMMYS REDUX:  Preliminary estimates indicate the Grammy Awards telecast was watched by 17.5 million people, which would make it the third least- watched Grammys ever.

AMY WINEHOUSE should not have won her Grammys, according to Natalie Cole: "I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together."

BRITNEY SPEARS:  More paparazzi are dropping out of the pack following the pop wreck because of the risk - to them.  The throng of photogs has been infiltrated by L.A. gang members, according to some photo-agency heads.  Meanwhile, the conservators of the Spears estate claim that Sam Lutfi demanded money from Spears; the firing of manager Howard Grossman may relate to his failure to turn over e-mail evidence of these demands.  Dad Jamie Spears accused Grossman of trying to "circumvent" the conservatorship in various ways, including sending the pop tart a Mercedes.  The paps are speculating that Dad has confiscated the infamous pink wig.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS, Britney's 16-year-old knocked up sister, was spotted in Louisiana over the weekend with purported baby daddy Casey Aldridge, while the parents attend to Britney.

THE McCARTNEYS:  At the end of day one of the couple's divorce hearing, Heather Mills emerged smiling, while Sir Paul looked distraught.  It is expected that a deal will be rubber-stamped this week, though it was feared that allegations over the weekend that Mills was unfaithful at the start of their relationship might have jeopardized the smooth progress of the settlement.

LINDSAY LOHAN and the FRENCH HOTEL reportedly got into a catfight over access to hit producer Timbaland at a Grammy after-party.

RHIANNA was involved in a car accident following the Grammy Awards ceremony.  No one was injured.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON reportedly took her mother and sister to a boutique in LA recently to look at wedding dresses, but her rep says, "A family member is getting married, not her. She is not engaged." 

BRUCE WILLIS has a new gal pal -- 29-year-old lingerie model Emma Heming.  Guess who she sorta looks like?

TILDA SWINTON, named Best Supporting Actress at the BAFTAs, brought her 29-year-old lover, leaving her long-term partner in Scotland looking after their twins.  Come and knock on their door.

MADONNA:  Has her new face cream put hair on her chest?

JACK NICHOLSON uses a foolproof pick-up line to win over the opposite sex - he asks women if they are pregnant.

REESE & RYAN UPDATE:  Ryan Phillippe tells W magazine that his divorce from Reese Witherspoon, after seven years of marriage, was "the darkest, saddest place I had ever been."  He also says, "I had difficulties in my relationship, and in my marriage, long before I ever met" new gal pal Abbie Cornish.

THE FORCE UNLEASHED:  Billed as the "next great chapter" in George Lucas's Star Wars saga, the videogame scheduled to be released this summer is "on the cutting edge of a huge leap forward for the video-game industry -- a technological breakthrough nearly as revolutionary as the introduction of sound in film."  Let's go to the video.

CARTOON JIHAD:  In Nigeria, three people, including a police officer, were killed after Muslim students rioted over a caricature of Prophet Mohammed by their Christian colleagues, police and teachers said Friday.  After the death of the youth who drew the picture, other rioters went on rampage and looted houses of policemen in town and burnt shops belonging to Christians.  The police station was also burned down during the unrest. Officers arrested 44 people.

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS:  The Kingdom's religious police have banned red roses ahead of Valentine's Day, forcing couples to think of new ways to show their love.  BONUS:  Hardliners in Kuwait will discuss ways to repress all public displays recognizing the international day of love.

ISLAMISM in the UK: Anglicans greeted the Archbishop of Canterbury with a standing ovation Monday, despite his recent controversial statments about the role of Islamic law in Britain.  The Archbishop claimed his words had been distorted but that he took responsibility for the lack of clarity in his pronouncements about Sharia law in a radio interview and a speech.  At Slate, Anne Applebaum writes that reading his comments, "it becomes instantly clear that every syllable of the harshest tabloid criticism is more than well-deserved... This was a call for the evisceration of the British legal system as we know it."  ALSO:  Up to 17000 women in Britain are being subjected to "honor" related violence, including murder, every year, according to police chiefs.

AFGHANISTAN:  In the WaPo, Ann Marlowe argues that we labor under two myths about the situation there.  The first is that Hamid Karzai is a good president who looks after American interests. The second myth is that the situation in Afghanistan is going from bad to worse.

THE WEINERMOBILE wiped out on snow-covered Route 15 in Pennsylvania Sunday.  And there were puns all over the highway.

THE GREAT WHITE SHARK:  London's Telegraph prints a series of pics of nature's most efficient killing machine hunting and killing its prey with remarkable ease.  Even in the afterlife, Police Chief Brody needs a bigger boat (nsfw).

KILLER JELLYFISH are on the move. Scientists are warning that their populations are exploding and will pose a monumental problem unless they are stopped.  Pics at the link.

POLAR FOX CUBS are cutest evah.  Slideshow at the link.

TINY PTERODACTYLS were the size of a sparrow.  Scientists are welcoming their new find as another piece in the puzzle of ancient life.

UNO the BEAGLE took his first winning steps at the Westminster Dog Show.  The best in show award has been presented 100 times by the Westminster Kennel Club and a beagle has never won.  Cue Spoon.  ALSO:  The Boston Globe has a gallery from the first day of the show.

FOO FIGHTERS performed "The Pretender" as part of this year's "My Grammy Moment," produced in partnership with YouTube and CBS.com. The segment gave up to 20 unsigned musicians the opportunity to play with the band at tonight's Grammy Awards as part of an orchestra that was arranged by special guest conductor John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin.  The hawt Asian-American violinist won; who'da thunkit?   This may be the first video I've linked via Red Lasso, which is pretty cool.

THE GRAMMYS, btw, went to all of these folks.

NEIL YOUNG says music has lost its power to change the world.  As if.  Young added: "I think the world today is a different place, and that it's time for science and physics and spirituality to make a difference in this world and to try to save the planet."

THEY MAY BE GIANTS hit the World Cafe on Friday; you can stream the gig on demand via NPR.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND talks to London's Guardian about the influence of Ralph Lauren, the less gritty vibe of today's NYC, and more.

IVANA XL has a new song, "Sundowner," posted at IvanaSpace.

AMY WINEHOUSE stayed in London for the Grammy Awards, where she won a bunch that should have gone to Feist... She won Record of the Year after performing a medley of "You Know I'm No Good/Rehab."  (The frame grab above is her in shock as the crowd goes wild around her in London.)  The rehabbing singer also got her teeth fixed.  The troubled singer is reportedly moving in with the Osbournes, which would be a ready-made reality show, but for The Osbournes already having had theirs.

WILCO:  As I write this, I have the Grammy Red Carpet on in the background, so I just heard Jeff Tweedy telling the story about being mistaken for an usher at the Grammys by P. Diddy.  BARELY RELATED:  I just saw Jay-Z say that he is interested in working with Feist.

PATTI SMITH:  Renaissance woman, or pompous windbag?  Reuters makes her out to be a bit of both.

SPIN MAGAZINE has put its entire February issue online, "enhanced" with links to bands' MySpace profiles, iTunes info, other stories and more.

LILY ALLEN is being touted as the saviour of BBC Three, but during recording of her first program, more than a third of the studio audience walked out, saying they were bored and complaining it was "horrible" and "limp."

PETE DOHERTY is playing birthday parties for just £100.  The 28-year-old has hit hard times after splitting up from supposedly sober supermodel Kate Moss.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:  Fool's Gold took the top slot with 22 million -- a bit less than what McConaughey and Hudson took in five years ago with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, even before inflation.  However, it is about typical for a moderate hit this time of year and not bad, given the generally bad reviews for the pic.  Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins opened in second place with about 17 million -- probably not bad for Martin lawrence these days.  The Hannah Montana movie's extended run took in ten million, which was down 66% from last weekend, but still more than the seven million budget for shows Disney did not plan on having.  Pure gravy for a 53.4 million total.  The Eye dropped 46 percent, which says something about Jessica Alba's drawing power for a typical poorly reviewed suspense flick.  The adorable Juno dropped a mere 18.4 percent, having raked in 117.6 million -- about twice what Little Miss Sunshine made, though about half of all-time indie queen My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  27 Dresses dropped about a third, but has made over twice its 30 million budget.  The Bucket List dropped 20%, but has made 75 million on a 45 million budget.  Rambo and Meet the Spartans both slid over 40 percent, while There Will Be Blood only dropped 12.5 percent to round out the Top Ten.  BONUS:  The French Hotel's new film, The Hottie and the Nottie, opened Friday to 9000 bucks on 111 screens, or 81 bucks per screen.

THE WRITERS GUILD looks to have resolved its strike against the studios, with guild president Patric Verrone crediting News Corp. No. 2 Peter Chernin, Disney chief Bob Iger, and CBS boss Les Moonves, as "instrumental in making this deal happen" after the WGA spent 3 months "getting nowhere" with the AMPTP negotiators and lawyers.

THE WRITERS GUILD also gave their awards to the adorable Juno for comedy and the Coen Bros.' No Country for Old Men for drama over the weekend.

JUNO and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, btw, may be the odds-on favorites for Best Picture come Oscar-time. Since the decade began, Best Picture has gone to one of the top two domestic grossers among the five movies in the category every single year. And with 101 million and 51 million earned, "Juno" and "No Country" are the clear box-office leaders this year.  However, outside of "Shakespeare in Love," a comedy hasn't won since 1977, which likely brings a smile to the faces of the brothers Coen.

HEATH LEDGER was memorialized in a service attended by hundreds and a 10-person private funeral Saturday in his hometown of Perth, Australia.  But what started out as a subdued wake after the funeral ended in an emotional goodbye by mourners including Michelle Williams, who all took a plunge into the ocean as the sun began to set.

ROY SCHEIDER who became one of the leading figures in the American film renaissance of the 1970s, died on Sunday afternoon in Little Rock, Ark. He was 75 and lived in Sag Harbor, NY.  He had suffered from multiple myeloma for several years, and died of complications from a staph infection.  His credits included Klute, The French Connection, All That Jazz, Blue Thunder, 52 Pick-Up and of course his role as Amity Police Chief Martin Brody in Jaws.

BRITNEY SPEARS' business manager is close to being fired and her divorce attorney has asked the court for permission to drop her as a client.

PAT O'BRIEN has checked an undisclosed rehab facility, which gives TMZ an excuse to relink to his nsfw phone messages.

THE McCARTNEYS:  Sir Paul will be forced to disclose how much he earned from his last world tour in his High Court showdown with Heather Mills today.  The former Beatle claims the two-year series of concerts generated losses of £3million, but friends of Mills say she played a key role in drawing up the accounts of the tour - and can prove it netted him millions.  He only gives you his funny paper.  COINCIDENTALLY, the uber-reliable News of the World claims that Mills cheated on Sir Paul for six months.

RANDY QUAID has been banned-for-life from the union representing American stage actors, due to his wacky misbehavior while working on the Broadway-bound musical "Lone Star Love."

TOM-KAT UPDATE:  Cher confirmed rumors that she had dated the pint-sized Cruise in the 80s, despite their huge age gap.

GLOBAL WARMING:  Almost all biofuels used today cause more greenhouse gas emissions than conventional fuels if the full emissions costs of producing these "green" fuels are taken into account, two studies being published Thursday have concluded.  Oops.

ISLAMISM in the UK:  The Archbishop of Canterbury faced demands to quit as the row over sharia law intensified.  Other bishops, politicians, and prominent Muslims were critical of the Archbishop's claim that the UK would eventually accomodate Islamic law.

OUR FRIENDS, THE SAUDIS:  The National Society for Human Rights, a non-governmental rights body, will address the Governorate of Riyadh regarding the case of the 37-year-old American businesswoman and married mother of three was thrown in jail by religious police for sitting with a male colleague at a Starbucks coffee shop in Riyadh.  The woman was bruised and crying when she was freed from a day in prison after she was strip-searched, threatened and forced to sign false confessions.  Apparently, someone has figured out this was very bad PR.

IRAQ:  Part 2 of Bill Ardolino's look inside Iraqi politics highlights the status of initiatives charged to the executive branch, primarily reconciliation and reconstruction efforts.  Islamist killings of women are still occurring in Basra.   Abu 'Azzam Al-Tamimi, a former leader in the "Islamic Army" in Iraq, told Al-Arabiya that US withdrawal would be a disaster and that an Iranian occupation would be far worse.  US commanders welcome the revival in Fallujah, but a simmering provincial power struggle threatens to raise new tensions among the Sunni tribal chiefs and politicians of Anbar that some fear could distract them from the fight against AQI.  However, Al-Qaeda in Iraq faces an "extraordinary crisis," according to a 39-page letter seized during a US raid on an AQI base near Samarra in November. 

LISA the GEEP is a cross between a goat and a sheep.  She is now booked into a specialist animal medical school in Hanover for genetic tests to determine her hybrid status.

BARNACLES go to great lengths to mate, even while attached to something else.  Dirk Diggler has nothing on barnacles.

RUDI the GIANT RABBIT escapes being eaten: "He is the king of the barn!" said Erwin Teichmann, of Berlin.

LET'S GO HORSESURFING now, everybody's learning how, come on a rodeo with me.

GODSPEED, tiny fish.