THE RASCALS absolutely rave out o­n this version of Holland-Dozier-Holland's "Mickey's Monkey," which was originally a hit for Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. Watch; you'll be glad you did.

ERIC BACHMANN, formerly of Crooked Fingers and Archers of Loaf, talks to Aversion about how living gypsy-style out of his tour van for a summer affected his life and work.

THE FAB FOUR: He's A Whore, who sadly has started another round of chemo, has posted the first part of an alternate version of The White Album, which you can stream from the Hype Machine.

JOAN JETT, headlining the Warped Tour, has been called "the godmother of punk," but she would prefer to be thought of as the hip big sister. There's a selection of Jett o­n the Hype Machine, including her cover of the Sweet's "A.C.D.C.," which is mentioned in the article.

PITCHFORK PREVIEW: Jewlie at Fabulist focuses o­n day two of this weekend's festival -- including Jens Lekman, Yo La Tengo, Mission of Burma, Sppon and more -- as you can stream via the Hype Machine.

THE PIPETTES make Pitchfork's "Best New Music" with an 8.4 for their debut LP: "In the end, We Are the Pipettes is a modern indie pop album, and a classic o­ne at that..." They were interviewed o­n MTV in the UK for the release, which isn't out in the US yet. Of course, you can still see the ladies play infectious tracks like "Pull Shapes" and "Your Kisses Are Wasted o­n Me" via YouTube, not to mention a live twofer of "Your Kisses..." and "Dirty Mind" from Channel Four's Album Chart Show.

PITCHFORK'S INFINITE MIXTAPE adds "In The Morning" by Junior Boys, which is pretty good, as synth pop goes. You can stream it from the Hype Machine, too.

ROBERT CHRISTGAU, at age 65, caught all or most of 52 acts and bits of nine others in June.

DEVENDRA BANHART serves up an eminently quotable breakfast for Pitchfork. For example, when asked about championing his friends: "I know the Espers and Vetiver. I love their music. If I didn't I wouldn't talk about them. I'd just say they were great people if someone asked about them. I'm not going to try and rip anybody off. If anything, I'm ripping you off by making records. That's as far as I'll go (laughs). But I've never ripped anyone off by recommending music that sucks. By the way, 22 songs (on Cripple Crow) might be too many songs but you get your money's worth, man (laughs). There's plenty of Banhart streaming via the Hype Machine.

THE TOP 50 ALBUMS OF OUR TIME: UnderGround o­nline compiles a list from 1990-Present.

PETE DOHERTY UPDATE: The troubled singer claims his soon-to-be-published diaries are full of "amazing nonsense." I believe at least half of that.

BRADGELINA: Baby Shiloh joins the couple at Madame Tussaud's wax museum. Guests are encouraged to pose for a "family photo" with the three figures, of which a dollar per picture will be donated to UNICEF. Shiloh is the first baby to be given a waxwork honor.

LANCE BASS, formerly of 'NSYNC, is so gay. I'm shocked. Bass may have been in the closet, but to read the Internet, the closet has had no door for months, if not years.

CHRISTIE BRINKLEY BREAK-UPDATE: Alexa Joel paints the supermodel's straying husband as the wicked stepfather.

GEORGE MICHAEL claims his gay wedding is postponed, not canceled and that his bf really doesn't mind him having anonymous sex with a pot-bellied, jobless van driver.

TOM-KAT UPDATE: As marriage rumors begin to stir again, it seems that Holmes would like to start working again.

LINDSAY LOHAN was taken to a local hospital Tuesday from the set of her new film Georgia Rule, after she "got overheated and dehydrated." TMZ notes it was over 100 degrees in L.A., but added: "Another contributing factor could also be the actress' night owl lifestyle." You think? It's not like she has been looking like a skeezy ho lately.

BRITNEY SPEARS reportedly went into false labor earlier this month, as a nutritionist told her she needs to cut down o­n the Cheetos.

MADONNA: Her UK tour demands include a new toilet seat and Kabbalah candles every night.

DAVE NAVARRO and CARMEN ELECTRA BREAK-UPDATE: Carmen was spotted geting cozy with Jamie Foxx, while US Weekly reports that Carmen knew of Dave's alleged affair with socialite Sarah Howard this past Spring, but did not make an issue of it.

BOLDLY GOING TO CAMELOT: The cast of the original Star Trek performs the musical number from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, thanks to the magic of video editing and YouTube.

IRAQ: Medea Benjamin of Code Pink briefly disrupted Iraqi PM Nouri al-Maliki's speech to Congress, shouting "Iraqis want the troops to leave" and "Bring them home now." As to her first slogan, the most recent poll directly o­n point (Jan. '06) showed that only 35 percent of Iraqis favored the US withdrawing within six months. Since that poll, sectarian violence has caused Sunnis to drop their demands for a quick US withdrawal. The most recent general poll shows that Iraqis overwhelmingly think that security is the number o­ne issue; about 30 percent think withdrawal is o­ne of the top three issues. As for Benjamin's call to bring the troops home now, I've noted before that her group sees our troops as "killers," and paraded coffins around Walter Reed Army Medical Center, all the while claiming to do so in support of the troops. If folks who oppose the US presence in Iraq wonder why they haven't had much success, despite favorable poll numbers, Ms. Benjamin's role as a leader of the antiwar movement could be Exhibit "A."

MIDEAST CONFLICT: UN Secretary General Kofi Annan -- who, afaik, has no experience as an artillery gunner -- says an Israeli attack o­n a UN observation post in Khiyam that killed four observers was "apparently deliberate." The Belmont Club looks at the press releases put out by the UN, noting that the UN was acting outside its mandate throughout the recent fighting, providing ambulance services to someone in Lebanon. The most recent release from the UN says that there was a "major concentration" with "heavy exchanges of fire" in the area. And if you advance to the three-minute mark of this Real Audio clip, you will hear Ret. Canadian Maj. Gen. Lewis MacKenzie tell the CBC that o­ne of those killed had sent an e-mail a few days earlier suggesting his position was crawling with Hezbollah. But it was very diplomatic of Annan to leap to a conclusion like that. ALSO: A map of Beirut shows just how little of the city has actually been bombed.

RAGBRAI bicyclists, rolling across Iowa, grab Albert the Bull in Audubon. I think someone could make a phrase out of that.

A CLUB-WIELDING CHIMP is on the loose in Thousand Oaks, CA.

CATERPILLARS PLAGUE BELGIUM: Male moths are being lured into love traps coated with female hormones in a bid to stem a plague of hairy caterpillars that are infesting woodlands and causing itching frenzies in humans.

JOCKEY APOLOGIZES for headbutting a horse that unseated him before a race. Headbutt video at the link.

SNAKE IN A WAL-MART: A man in a motorized wheelchair was hospitalized after being bitten in a Wal-Wart in Sanford, FL. IIRC, there was a snake spotted o­nce in the Wal-Mart near Sylvia Hauser's current home.

THE NEW YORK DOLLS: A cartoon David Johansen (is that redundant?) romances a creationist in the video for "Dance Like A Monkey" from the Dolls' new LP. As it's twofer Tuesday, I cannot resist a vintage Dolls performance of the similarly simian-themed "Stranded In The Jungle" o­n Don Kirshner's... Rock Concert. And because I can, I'll throw in "Personality Crisis" and a twofer of "Looking For A Kiss" and "Jet Boy" for good measure.

NEW RELEASES: Tom Petty, Tapes 'N Tapes, New York Dolls, Midlake, The Long Winters, and The Knife are among the albums streaming in full from AOL this week. Silversun Pickups (frontman Brian Aubert was recently interviewed at Seattlest) release Carnavas. Paul Weller has a US release of his all-electric solo live album. The Sleepy Jackson, recently the subject of a glowing round-up at Chromewaves, unleashes the lush Personality. The Pipettes release their album in the UK (and do some PR in London's Sun), but no word o­n a US date yet, so you'll have to consult the Hype Machine for streaming goodness.

THE 32 WORST LYRICS OF ALL TIME are counted down by The (Boston) Phoenix for your inevitable disagreement.

THE 111 WUSSIEST SONGS OF ALL TIME, according to AOL, are conveniently posted at Stereogum for your inevitable disagreement.

INSIDE THE ROCKERS STUDIO: Speaking of Stereogum, Scott grills the female half of Mates of State. He also has MP3 and video links, but there's plenty more at the Hype Machine.

SEEN YOUR VIDEO: You'll not see nothing like "The Mighty Quinn." Manfred Mann's version of the Dylan tune is my cup of meat.

MUSIC BLOGS: Author-blogger Simon Reynolds thinks they are not living up to their potential, though I think his reasons raise questions about the standard he sets. Good Hodgkins takes a different approach to the queston of whether music blogs are important that may be a better approach, though the distinction between "thinkers" and "linkers" has a longer history than GH's Ryan suspects.

INDIE BLOCKEDAPPELLA, as you might guess, offers a cappella versions of indie songs, but there's also an amusing cover of Bon Jovi's "Livin' o­n A Prayer."

THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME is looking for relative youth o­n its nominating committee, according to chairman Jon Landau (a/k/a Springsteen's manager).

ROXY MUSIC may have something left in the tank, according to London's Independent.

MISS UNIVERSE topples over mere seconds into her reign, which raises that ol' philosophical question about the beauty queen falling over in the forest and no o­ne seeing it.

COLIN FARRELL has obtained a restraining order against the woman who accosted him during a Tonight Show taping, while she held a presser to tell her version of the story.

MADONNA left a beach wrapped up like Mother Theresa after discovering her beachwear was translucent when wet.

TARA REID: Speaking of beachwear malfunctions, it seems that the Tinseltown party girl still has problems keeping the implants under cover.

GILLIAN ANDERSON: The former Agent Scully is pregnant just three months after splitting from her husband. London's Daily Mail has identified a likely father, but I'm sure the Weekly World News will be all over the alien baby angle.

BRADGELINA: City Rag offers photos to suggest that "sometime in the last 10 years, Angelina Jolie has had plastic surgery, including a nose job and cheek implants."

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY, People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive was snapped doing yoga o­n the beach, and later was snapped snapping at a photog before another yoga session. Just a little something for the ladies who suffer through all of the Jessica Alba items here.

TINA FEY is leaving as a writer-performer o­n Saturday Night Live to be a writer-performer o­n 30 Rock, which is about writing a television show. But the fictional show is not like SNL, as Aaron Sorkin is doing the show about writing a fictionalized version of SNL.

AARON SORKIN: Speaking of whom, the creator of Studio 60 o­n the Sunset Strip stuck his foot in it during PR for the show, saying of reality TV: "When things that are very mean-spirited and voyeuristic go o­n TV, I think it's (like) bad crack in the schoolyard." This caused the journos to bust a gut, given Sorkin's past track record with cocaine, but I would ask whether there's such a thing as "good" crack in the schoolyard.

MELANIE MARTINEZ was fired as the hostess of a show o­n the PBS Kids Sprout network for appearing in "inappropriate" videos. The videos appeared o­n TechnicalVirgin.com, which crashed due to the sudden interest. But you can see one of the videos o­n YouTube. Technically SFW, but probably "inappropriate."

DID JODIE FOSTER DATE KIM BASINGER? Could there be any more authoritative source than a purported fax offering hearsay from cult director John Waters?

JESSICA ALBA: Some French site has posted 180 high-quality photos of the Alba from the set of Awake. No swimwear involved, but the lady wears clothes well.

IRAQ: Fresh US troops are to be brought into Baghdad as a six-week-old security clampdown in the capital has failed to quell a surge in sectarian violence. The leader of Iraq's most powerful political party said Monday that Iraqi neighborhoods should form their own defense committees; others fear that such committees would amount to nothing more than de facto militias in a country where militia attacks have caused much of the bloodshed.

MIDEAST CONFLICT: While Iran denies any involvement in the current fighting, Israeli, Egyptian and Lebanese sources say the bodies of Iranian Revolutionary Guard soldiers killed in Lebanon have been transported to Syria and flown to Tehran. The UN's humanitarian chief accused Hezbollah of "cowardly blending" in among Lebanese civilians and causing the deaths of hundreds. Mideast diplomats were pressing Syria to stop backing Hezbollah. Coincidentally, Syria is reportedly prepared to tell the US the whereabouts of al-Qaeda cells in Lebanon.

MIDEAST CONFLICT and THE MEDIA: Looking at this transcript and this blog post, it appears that Hezbollah is controlling the coverage of CNN and others in Beirut. The actual stories by Nic Robertson and others almost never mention this. CNN did the same thing with Saddam, so this doesn't shock me. Similarly, when Washington Post reporter Robin Wright gushes over Hezbollah terrormaster Hasan Nasrallah and describes the current conflict as "the most dramatic cross-border acts of war by Israel since its invasion of Lebanon in 1982" (without mentioning that Hezbollah fired rockets o­n Israel and kidnapped Israeli soldiers), I am quickly reminded that Wright has gotten favorable treatment from Iran for going easy o­n the mullahs, so it's just a courtesy she's extending to Iran's client.

JENNY THE COW went to her owner in a variation o­n the classic method of resolving animal custody disputes.

A BLUE MARLIN speared a fisherman in the chest and knocked him into the Atlantic Ocean, but he'll live.

IS IT A MOLT OR A HOOSE? A rare mating of a wild moose and a mare likely resulted in the birth of a funny-looking colt with a big head and long legs.

ANOTHER TWO-FACED CAT is revealed in Millbury, Mass. Surprisingly, it has lived to age six so far. Pic at the link.

SUCKING SEA-SPIDERS living at the bottom of the ocean defy scientific classification. RELATED: There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

TEEN FENDS OFF GATOR dragging him to the lake with a tip from the Discovery Channel.